S3E7: Unpacking Our Dyslexia Journeys and Personalities

Are you ready to uncover the unexpected link between dyslexia and innate confidence? In this candid conversation, Juliet and Brent delve deep into their personal stories, revealing surprising correlations and the impact of parental understanding. Their contrasting perspectives and the way they interpreted each other's journeys will make you see dyslexia in a whole new light. But the real eye-opener? The unspoken challenges they faced and the different ways they wished they could have supported each other. Dive into this raw and thought-provoking discussion that uncovers the layers of dyslexia and self-esteem. Stay tuned for the next episode where they reveal even more eye-opening insights about dyslexia advocacy and awareness. You won't want to miss it.

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Overcome dyslexia challenges by understanding your child's unique strengths.
• Support children with dyslexia by creating a nurturing and empowering environment at home.
• Boost your child's self-esteem by celebrating their achievements and talents.
• Understand dyslexia's impact on the family dynamic and discover effective coping strategies.
• Advocate for dyslexia awareness to create a more inclusive and supportive community.

Transcript:

00:00:02
Welcome back to Word blindness, Dyslexia exposed. I am Juliet Hahn, and that is the way I always say it. And you, like, pointed out, I think finally you, like, listen to me. You don't usually listen to me. Apparently, I finally listen to you.

00:00:13
Look who's talking. Geez. Well, apparently, because I listened back, since you said that, I was like, wait, isn't that how I always say it? Maybe I don't. And then I listen back.

00:00:22
I'm like, that's how I say it. Clearly, someone wasn't listening every opening, which I think is kind of funny. You know, we tape on Mondays, right? Monday morning. So let's be clear.

00:00:32
Let's be clear. It's. And it's an hour earlier for you. So, yes, you know, it's Monday morning. I got Curious Georgia on the other end of the camera, put her Curious George hat on every Monday morning.

00:00:44
Oh, what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? We're gonna dig. Oh, my God. That's like a dog.

00:00:49
Like, my dog. That's actually hilarious, right? And I didn't even get to say. And you have full control. Your dogs, they're whining because they want this.

00:00:58
And you know, jeez. Yeah, I know. I'm totally fine with that. And grandma won get these two blind dogs I want to adopt, but she won't do it. Oh, I want to talk about that.

00:01:11
You know, she does. She's like, we don't need two dogs with two of us.

00:01:20
She's like, great, thanks. So I did gallery over there. I did not say that. I was gonna say she did not say that. Well, so I'm here with my co host friend, so.

00:01:29
Because I never finished and looped that around. So today you're probably going to love this even more because I am. I'm going to take it back down memory lane. And I want. Because we haven't done this.

00:01:44
We actually have never done this, but I don't think we've also done this in a long time where there's things in your story from the beginning that have always, like, stuck out to me, that anytime I think of your story, there are things that stick in my head. And I want us to do a kind of like. I want you to talk about some of the things in my story that have stuck out. And I'm going to do the same with you. And so I'm going to start.

00:02:10
Okay, so let's see how this goes. Okay, so. And giggle pants over there. So when you have how this goes, I love how when you Start with that. Let's see where this goes.

00:02:23
So from the beginning, when I learned about your story, now I think March is going to be two or three, I think two years.

00:02:33
One where you threw a desk in third grade, right? One was that you never really had anyone stop and ask you like to help you. And they clearly knew you were struggling. But where you grew up in Canada, it was kind of like, we know the path you're going to be. You're going to be a hockey player, so it doesn't matter if you can read and write, right?

00:02:59
Like they, it was like no caring. The fact that like your mom always helped with homework and that they had to pull you off the ice. Cuz that's where your happy place was. That it was like you wanted to be on that ice. And then if you had to do work, you were either standing on your head, climbing under things where your mom was like, you know, upside down.

00:03:19
All of those things really resonated with me because I can, I can completely understand it. You know, the feeling of when you had to read out loud in. I think yours was grade nine as well. And, and then that's when you, you know, really kind of started your bullying because it was like the kids made fun of you. It was like and, and, and knowing that you weren't going to be able to read out loud, but they would call on you.

00:03:42
And so once again you felt like no one had your back. No one understood. Even though you struggled, even at home, no one in your house kind of was like, hey, you seem to be struggling in school. Not like it just was not talked about. It was like, I'll help you with your homework and then let's just push through.

00:03:59
So it was never like acknowledged of, okay, these are the things that you struggle, I think because you're hockey. It was talked about, things that you were good at, but maybe not even in depth, but like kind of. It just was this big sore thumb that was like the elephant in the room that no one addressed. Is that the pink elephant or the white elephant? Is that one of those two?

00:04:23
Is not. Isn't that that saying? Well, yes, I think that is also. It's gonna be so random at Christmas there's a white elephant or a white elephant party where you like have. Yeah.

00:04:34
Isn't the little gifts or something? Yeah, yeah, exactly. But there's also the saying, right, of the elephant in the room that no one talks about. And, and the fact that like, really no one in your family still to this day has like, you've been able to unpack any of this and that kind of leads, you know, into text message that I got this morning when a mom text me and you know, her ex husband. Yeah.

00:05:04
To go one of those. But he's trying to get their sons on the IEP dyslexia removed from the iep And I'm like, you know, and a couple other things. And I said, like, why? She's like, you know, he thinks coddling. I'm coddling too much and trying to cover too much for him.

00:05:34
You know, and why I bring that up is, you know, we've talked about, you know, they want, you want kids to advocate for their self or, you know, as you just talked about, you know, nobody's there to, to help me.

00:05:51
Very few people understand this.

00:05:56
So they're trying to change things that they don't understand. You know, we talk about the, you know, this all the time. And you said, you know, I never had somebody, you know, they knew I was struggling. I don't know if they knew. I strongly just thought I was lazy and just thought I was dumb.

00:06:15
So I don't think they had the. And that's probably the biggest thing. They don't have any of the understanding. Right. You know, and that's where bullying comes in.

00:06:23
I think I told you last week there was a 12 year old girl in, I think it's Trenton, Michigan, committed suicide. She was bullied at school.

00:06:36
Now I haven't been able to find out why. I want to know the why was she bullied? And most parents don't care about the why.

00:06:53
Why is Juliet struggling? Why is Brent struggling in the classroom? Why is Montgomery struggling? You know, Lila, why are they struggling? Most don't care to find out that why.

00:07:07
So that trouble, that struggling continues.

00:07:13
Your story, which obviously is very different from mine, is there's a lot of understanding in your house.

00:07:24
Your mom was a kindergarten teacher, right? Yeah. So she wasn't dyslexic, but she had understanding of, of dyslexia, of what it was to struggle. So you want to talk about your innate confidence, yo?

00:07:47
Juliet. No, I don't, I really don't think so. But. Yeah, yo, but you, you know, your mom instilled confidence in you in a way that I never had. You know, she, you know, she knew obviously at a young age you learn differently, you know, because of your dad.

00:08:07
Right. You didn't get your formal diagnosis till later, until college, but she know, she knew you weren't your typical learner.

00:08:17
So instead of drowning the round peg in the Square hole in those young years, she wasn't doing that.

00:08:29
She's putting around pulling the wrong hole. You don't remember that. You don't know that. But she had awareness to be able to do that. And which gave you, you know, how gave you that ornate confidence that you think that because you had that support behind you, you had the whole.

00:08:54
You had the horse in front of the cart in ways that you had never understood. And you're thinking right now going, I never thought about that. Well, no, because I have. I have two things that I'm holding on to. I want to let you finish and hold.

00:09:10
Let's see. So when you say. And so I want to challenge and question this for a second when you say, you know, this is why you love Monday mornings, that in your life they just thought you were lazy and stupid. Right? There was plenty of teachers that thought I was lazy and stupid.

00:09:38
Right. But I did have my mom that was like, she's too clever. She's not lazy or stupid. Right. Like, she's too clever.

00:09:46
And this is where I always find it interesting, our paths, how they come about, because it shapes who we are. Right. And also some of the parents, you know, when you're talking about when kids like the bully or the class clown that they don't care to find out, do you think like in your family it wasn't that they just thought you were lazy and stupid? They were just, they, they weren't. And I don't want to say curious or they didn't care.

00:10:23
Do you think that there was other things in their lives that they couldn't step out and, and do it? And then same with school like that with the teachers, you were from a small town. Maybe they were overwhelmed. They were like, I just don't even know what to do. The understanding is what I'm getting to it.

00:10:37
Like, there was no understanding. My mom had some understanding because of being in education. Right. And also who she is. She went into education because she truly is fascinated about how people learn.

00:10:49
Right. My older sister clearly wasn't a, you know, she was a struggling learner as well. And so there's all of those kind of pieces that are put together where you didn't have those pieces because the path before. But do you think like, you know, where you grew up, it just was like there was other outside things that they, they didn't care about kids in the same way or it just wasn't like, was there any kids that, that struggled, that got help? Do you know what I mean?

00:11:19
Do you know Where I'm going with that. Yeah. You know. Right. No recollection.

00:11:23
No, no, none of that. But, you know, I. When we went to dinner Saturday night, I was telling the story about the reading leak, how you and I were tweaking, losing our minds about the reading. And Elizabeth's like, what are you guys talking about? Like, calm down.

00:11:42
Like, settle the down. It's not a big deal. And so I was explaining to him why you and I were tweaking and why we know the Reading League is done by non dyslexic. And, you know, it's complete. And you're talking about the name.

00:11:57
I just want to preface this because. And she, you know, and the lady we're with Saturday night, she. She came back to me and I. So we said, you and I are tweaking because league is a competition and we start at Reading, so we would never join, you know, any sport or any league or anything where you're bad at. Right.

00:12:27
And the lady's like, she. So she's like, okay, interesting. She goes, is that from your background of hockey, like that competitive side of things? I'm like, no, that's, you know, that's a very interesting thought, but it's not. And I said, it's.

00:12:43
Nobody's going to join anything where they suck at it. And she kind of sat back. She goes, oh, kind of like bowling. Me and bowling, right? She's like, I suck at bowling.

00:12:57
I'm like, yeah, so you're not going to join a bowling league if you suck at it. And she's like, okay, that makes more sense. And why, you know, why tell me is kind of go back is a lot of the stuff that we talk about as dyslexics have is almost the opposite of what everybody thinks.

00:13:22
So I don't know how many times people think I'm an idiot or I got no idea what I'm talking about. Right. Because it's so different than what they think. Oh, you're supposed to do that this way. Okay, but we're this way and we go this way.

00:13:41
They're like, what are you talking about? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. So it's. And I say this all the time. You guys want to start a reading program?

00:13:53
Yo. Got an email today from the foundation here. You know, sponsor us and go and have meetings with, you know, big, big companies. And they. I can't believe this stuff is this, and this is that.

00:14:11
And this is so crazy because it's so different, you know, than what they can wrap their brain around. So it's. You're, you know, ask the question of what's, you know, at a younger age. You know, what's. Other people getting help.

00:14:27
I don't know. I was struggling. I don't even remember. I barely remember any of my childhood. So you have again, probably 99%.

00:14:41
We had a podcast. Obviously, Colleen, she's dyslexic, but I don't, you know, Ashley, how many other dyslexic teachers do you know? Right? There's. I mean, as we talked about, there's not a lot because it's like, why are you gonna go?

00:14:56
I would never. I mean, so many things that I have. I think I even said to you, there's so many things that have come across my plate. My dad. We remember, we were talking about my dad being in real estate, and I said to you, I've never said this out loud, but I never went into real estate because of thinking of the test, knowing my dad did it.

00:15:18
But I was like, he was so passionate about it that he did it. His family is huge. And, like, I shared with you, my. His grandmother, my great, great grandmother was the first woman realtor in New Jersey. And then my dad's dad had his own company, and my dad.

00:15:33
And so there was a huge amount. My. One of my sisters went into corporate real estate. And I remember everyone always being like, oh, you're going to totally do the same because you and your dad are so similar. And I was like, no, no, no, no, I'm not.

00:15:45
And I never really. Never said. I'm not putting myself in that. Like, I have math and numbers and. And all, like, that all sounds terrible.

00:15:55
Yes, I can sell. Like, I. You know, but no, I don't like any of that. And so it is, right, those things that if you have that test stuff, I mean, yeah, go Saturday night, they ask the same question. So, you know, Brett, you know, you're CanadHahn.

00:16:16
Are you a citizen? I'm like, fuck, I'll never be a citizen. Then they're all up and on, yo, American, you know, don't want to be American. No, I ain't doing the test. Right, Right.

00:16:27
So plain and simple. Not a chance. You think I'm doing tests? Absolutely not. And then I was telling the, you know, the DMZ story where I was trying to make sure everybody laughs so I didn't have to do written tests, and Elizabeth's friend.

00:16:38
Sister worked there, so had to come get me. Yellow. No. No test. No.

00:16:45
And it runs deep with the tests and it runs so deep that like, even with my kids, when they talk about test, I still like get the lump in my throat and I'm like. And it brings me back to obviously the SATs where, you know, people, if they haven't, they can listen to my story. But like taking like there's so many things that, yes, I've gotten ahead of and better and understanding. But you have those scars that are so deep that you can be okay with them, but you still have almost, it's almost a. What is the word?

00:17:18
Like, the reaction to it. Just like beginning of school, right? Did I tell you about conversation? We met them here in Chicago. The Cup.

00:17:29
You know, the cup breakfast that morning little girl, the girl was doing her scts, so she's got extended time. So mom went in there and you know, as you're in your fourth and fifth hour writing a goddamn test, forget about, you're wasting time, right? So she went to the school and said, hey, can we break this up in two days? Like dyslexia? We can't take a five hour test.

00:17:57
And their answer was no, because your IEP has to reflect your sat. The mom's like, hang on, saying we don't, they don't take five hour tests in school. So how are you going to reflect an IEP to an sat? It's impossible. But she's just like, they said, no, imagine is sitting there for five hours.

00:18:23
You know, like Elizabeth's got to do, you know, continuing ed for her, you know, for the mortgage business and stuff. And 12th hour, 11. 11 hour and 59 minutes. I got to get this thing done because it's awful. I mean, when I first, I first met her, started dating, she's one weekend, I, you know, couldn't see her.

00:18:45
She didn't want to see me. I'm like, oh, she doesn't like me. So she's doing her continuing ed. She had to get her test done. She's champed in, you know, on, on a weekend.

00:18:53
Awful. I'd rather be have my eyes poked out with a fork, you know, and then poor girls doing sat sitting there for five hours. Oh, I remember. I like, where were we last week? Five minutes into, oh, double down.

00:19:11
I was done five minutes. I, you know, lady was very good. She's very well spoken. She did a good job. Explain.

00:19:19
I was, I was done. Five minutes in, I'm like, Liz was walking kitchen. She looked at me, you okay? I'm like, I was done. Never mind.

00:19:27
Five hours, five minutes. No, I remember. I mean, that's, I Had to take that SAT. I'm not kidding. I took it over 15 times, like, so, you know, and where I kind of went, you know, on a spring right down rabbit hole, is everybody wants to teach a dyslexic, but they have zero clue about a dyslexic.

00:19:53
So now let's take it back to the opening question. See our circle back like that. I'm proud of you. This was asking about, you know, each other's journey. That's the part of my.

00:20:07
Your journey that I wish I had is your mom had understanding, not full. Okay, we just talked because she's not full and sucks, but she had more understanding than I've had anybody in my life up until the last couple years. Right. Nobody had any, you know, so I've done some podcasts. Brent, you know, did you have a coach that helped you?

00:20:40
They didn't. Again, I was so far deep in my scars that it didn't even matter if they tried to help me. I. I wouldn't. They wouldn't have been able to help me because I was too deep.

00:20:53
But that was part of the journey, is that I wish I had, you know, now. You know, now I do, obviously, yourself, you know, grandma, but I never had that growing up. I never had that in my world. And that's what you had, even though you don't remember it. Guarantee.

00:21:11
Your mom did certain things at a young age to instill that innate confidence in you. And, you know, she's. She internally built that to you in ways because she, you know, she had that understanding then 99.9% of the teachers, you know, out there, and. And yes, and I. And.

00:21:33
And also my dad, in a different way in, like, with my personality. Right. So there was, like, things that. That I had. But the thing about your journey, and this is what's so interesting, and this is why I wanted to ask that which.

00:21:47
So, like, you. You saw the positive things, right? So we. What do we always say? Like, you're the realist.

00:21:54
In the beginning, it was negative. Right. And I'm the unicorn. Positive. So you saw the positive parts that you wish you had.

00:22:04
I see the parts, and they're not. I don't want to say negative parts, but the parts that were hard for you. And I wish that I was in your world to have helped you back then. And so it's just an interesting personality thing, if we think about this. Like, right, you saw that and you're like, that's.

00:22:23
And I remember that was something that you were like, oh, my gosh, that I like, I remember you connecting with that part of my story, right. And being like, I wish I had that right. And that's what I want to give every kid for the foundation. I want to be able to have the foundation be that like. So that's what connected you.

00:22:40
That's a support. And that's the support. That's the understanding. That's the self esteem. You take a look at mine.

00:22:47
There was a certain point in time where you couldn't help me, right? Yeah. We need to make sure we never get a kid to that. Right? We gotta make sure the self esteem where you can get out of that hole so we can help.

00:23:02
Yo, it's so they. Every kid. We can be your mom for every kid. Put that innate confidence, you know, in every kid, you know, again back, you know, dinner the other night, you know, we're talking about, obviously, you know, the golf event there, there at the golf event and sounding up dinner and listen to Hahn and Peyton speak. Like, you know, it was so amazing.

00:23:28
But I said to him, if you would have seen them a year ago, year and a half ago, they couldn't look nice. Never long ago on the stand in front of yo, both were a minimum 100 people. 100 to 200 people. They both stood in front and they crushed it. This is self esteem.

00:23:49
So ornate. Confidence. We will argue forever. And you know, I believe your mom put it in you and my dad's mom put it in him. Because of that, like we, you know, I'll see your cat can connect them.

00:24:04
Yeah, it's accurate, but it's in a different. It's a different way. Right. People like, how do you, you know, how do you connect? How do you talk to my kid this way?

00:24:15
I'm like, I. I talk dyslexic. Like, what do you mean talks? He's like, I talk to him in the way they need to be talked to. And it's.

00:24:24
It's a different. It's not a different language. It's not a different approach. It's. It's all about the understanding and asking a simple question.

00:24:32
Like, go back to the, you know, the title being the Reading League. You are tweaking and Elizabeth's got no clue. And no. When I told that story the other night, no, obviously everybody at the table, I was the only dyslexic one. They're like, holy, man.

00:24:49
I would have never, ever put those two things together like that. And John, you know, sold his company for. He was the biggest H vac company in Vegas. Massive one of the biggest companies probably, you know, sold it for hundreds of millions. Awesome.

00:25:07
You know, had. You know. So it's not like I was sitting with, you know, smart people. Very smart. Tons of everybody in that table.

00:25:15
Smart. But they didn't see it that way. No. And the person that created the Reading League and the group that was sitting around was like, we want dyslexics to understand that they can read, and we're a part of it and we're their champion. So we're going to do a Reading League because that's going to make you feel good.

00:25:32
They have no. And this thing where they're all missing. You're not championing shit. You're actually pissing me off more. Right.

00:25:39
You know, all that. You know, we'll get into that, you know, next week about. Oh, look at that teaser right into. All these people think that the word. People talking about dyslexia.

00:25:51
It's bringing it up. It's. No, it's actually making it worse. And, you know, that will be next week's episode leading to here, as we decide to. Well, we're gonna wrap that.

00:26:06
This was perfect. And this is. And I just think it was. It's really interesting because I think the correlations of what you took out of my story and what I took out of your story and then our personalities, it's just a really interesting thing to like. If someone wants to get deep and curious, all the psychologists that listen to this, like, it is a very.

00:26:29
There's a lot behind that, and we can dig and dive into that on another episode, but I think that's, like, a really cool thing to kind of really put together, and we're gonna leave it at that. So thank you for joining. Word Blindness, Dyslexia Exposed. I liked Brent, how you connected. You brought things back just for you.

00:26:50
I know. Look at that. Monday. That made me very happy. I appreciate it.

00:26:54
Well, everybody keep fit and have fun. Yep. And, like, rate, review and share.