S3E2: The Misunderstood Struggles of Mental Health in Athletes

Uncover the unexpected truth about dyslexia and mental health struggles. Dive deep into the emotional journey of a misunderstood athlete. What does it all have to do with dyslexia and learning disorders? The answers will challenge your perspective and leave you questioning how we support those who feel misunderstood. Stay tuned for an eye-opening revelation that will change the way you see dyslexia and mental health. Are you ready to uncover the surprising connection? Keep reading to find out.

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Recognize the signs of mental health struggles in athletes and learn how to effectively support them.
• Gain a deeper understanding of dyslexia and learning disorders, and their impact on athletes' lives.
• Discover the profound impact of feeling misunderstood and how it affects athletes' mental well-being.
• Explore effective coping mechanisms for managing depression and anxiety in the context of athletic pursuits.
• Understand the crucial role of self-esteem in education and its significance for athletes facing mental health challenges.

Transcript:

00:00:02
Welcome back to Word Blindness, dyslexia exposed. This is Juliet Hahn with my co host, Brent Sopel. How are you? This is Juliet Hahn. Since.

00:00:11
Is that what I said? Is that how you speak now? No. What did I say before? Did I say, this is Juliet Hahn.

00:00:17
I am Juliet. I don't know what I did. Hi. I was actually. I'm the unicorn.

00:00:22
Juliet Hahn. This is. I was actually looking at the article and so I wasn't even thinking of what I was saying because I was like, oh, wait, I don't have it where I want it. It. So I guess I just went into.

00:00:35
Let's dive right in. I don't know. Well, so this is. This is a. A special episode and it's kind of a.

00:00:44
Hey, I think we need to record episode that wasn't planned. So we are recording on a Wednesday because. Mike, what day is it? Hump day. Oh, yeah, now I remember the elephant.

00:00:59
I'm kidding. It's a camel. I know it's a camel. That was know it's a gamble.

00:01:07
But so over the holidays or maybe at the end of the holiday season of before my kids went to school. So that's how I think of its holidays. Last week. Last week. Something like that.

00:01:17
Yeah. You sent me an article and you said, can you read it? And I said, yes. And I opened it and it was like 13 pages long. And I was like, oh, wow, okay.

00:01:27
But you said it really? I could tell it hit a chord. Like, I could tell there was something more to it. So I was like, I'm gonna sit and really read it. It's in Golf Digest.

00:01:39
It's the misunderstood life of Grayson Murray. He's the golfer that committed suicide. If you want to give any background on. Yeah, you know, it's. And I knew of grace.

00:01:54
And you know, obviously I. I watch. You know, I watch golf. But the title misunderstood Life got my attention. Obviously, that's something that I talk about, you know, all the time, is how my whole life I've been.

00:02:14
I've never been understood. I've always been misunderstood. And then I started, you know, started reading it and, you know, it's. It was probably the first time ever where something, you know, I say, that's me. That's me.

00:02:39
That's me. That was the first time ever that that was, you know, that whole story was me.

00:02:52
But the deeper portion of it, how his parents didn't understand it and still don't understand it.

00:03:10
What the root cause is, what I see was going on. Right.

00:03:18
And I mean, that's one of the things that. And. And I'll say, because you sent it to me, and then you said, did you get a chance to read it? And that's when I knew. I was like, okay, because we send stuff back and forth to each other all the time, but you followed up on it, and I was like, okay, this is something that's really important.

00:03:35
And as I said, it's like 13 pages long. So, like, I remember being like, okay, I had to, like, read it and then take a breath and sit for a second and then read it. But the more I read it, there was, like, things that really stood out to me that I was like, I understand why this is. I don't want to say striking a chord, because that sounds, like, negative, but, like, this was impacting you. Like, I could feel that this was impacting you in a different way than any article that you've sent before.

00:04:04
And so that's why I really wanted to kind of dive in and talk about this, because it is so important in the work that you do, but also in life where you talk about being misunderstood all the time. Right? And so one of the things that it was.

00:04:25
It talked about his. His mental illness, his depression, you know, days on end, being in bed, family members not understanding him. He did have some friends that understood him, but they said it was tough. You know, they said it was really tough to be around because he was, you know, it. They didn't completely understand him, but I guess they had history.

00:04:48
A couple things that you said to me. I'm gonna let you jump in because I see your face. No, no, it was, you know, his. He had some friends that didn't understand him.

00:05:02
I. I know I don't. He. He don't think he understood himself. You know, that ends up being.

00:05:13
We printed it out. You know, it says Grayson spent a lot of time in his bedroom. He had his own condo in Jupiter, Florida, but preferred to be in his hometown, Raleigh, North Carolina. Tattooing his city's area code, 1-919. It was here where the suburbs bled into the countryside, you know, his friends.

00:05:42
And then there's one portion here, I don't know where it is. It talks about him being such a perfectionist that he worked two weeks on a project and threw it away, you know, and then threw it in the garbage To. To me, this whole article screams about learning disorders that he has. You know, do you see that? I.

00:06:06
I know I definitely did. And. And. And this is what is in so many of the conversations we talk. Talk about.

00:06:14
And. And, you know, There's, I'm sure, people that debate about it. There is people that suffer more with mental illness, but there's always a root, right? I mean, there's a root. Some people's makeups are.

00:06:27
Yes. Some people have different chemical balance, just like a woman and their hormones. And so there is. There is things. Not everyone with some mental illness has learning disabilities or disorders, but there's always something that's the root of it.

00:06:40
And yes, when I read it, I was like, this is really interesting because they did talk about all of his. His life and. And struggles, but, you know, never really the perfectionist thing. I was like, oh, my gosh. Because it reminded me some of Montgomery.

00:06:55
I remember when a perfectionist. And then the day that he couldn't be. And I just remember my heartbreaking because I was like, oh, he's given up something there. Like, it was like a. I totally witnessed.

00:07:04
And he had a drawing for school. He had to do something, and he had it in his mind. And he's like, no, I want it to look like this. And I just remember. And he couldn't do it.

00:07:12
And he was so frustrated. And then I obviously couldn't help him. I couldn't do it. So I remember that and that definitely I was like, there is a very underlining part that there was learning disorders they do talk about. He did have a head.

00:07:26
Head injury, but they talked about this all was happening so much more before. So it kind of thrown in the head injury was. So Grayson died at 30. And I think that was at like 28 years old. Right.

00:07:40
So that was right at the very end, you know, of. Of Grayson's, but. Right. And I feel like they almost put that in because they didn't. They didn't know what to say, to say why he suffered because the parents were like.

00:07:53
They were lost. They're lost in this article, you know.

00:07:59
You know, I cried for a lot of different reasons. You know, I cried for him. I cried for his parents.

00:08:14
That's yo. And I knew exactly how he felt. I could feel every movement. I could feel everything.

00:08:27
You know, the suicide, it's something that I, you know, that I think about daily. It's. I just. Everything to this thing was.

00:08:46
Was me, but it was, you know, obviously he. Take a look at his parents. You know, I don't know his parents at all. Just by the pictures, obviously. Look, you know, they're older, right.

00:08:55
And they're. They're heartbroken. Anytime you lose a child, you're heartbroken, but losing a child with no understanding and that's what. The misunderstood life of Grayson. It's still misunderstood.

00:09:17
They didn't get any answers. I think they're spinning more now than ever.

00:09:25
You know, correct me, if not, you know, I'm wrong. You know, I just. You know, and he never. It talked about how, you know, having his friends, but he didn't have any friends. He sent things to, like, people.

00:09:42
People because he hunt, because he was generous and would have people be around him. But you could feel in the article, in the parts where he was. He was empty. He just thought these. He was going through motions.

00:09:56
You know, it's. There were days when Grayson would zip up his black hoodie and try and keep the world out because that world was too much for him. It's a struggle faced by millions, yet one widely misunderstood. It's why the Murrays needed to share Grayson's story. Yo, they shared his story, but they don't even understand his story.

00:10:30
And there's two parts that I, like, screamed. One, Grayson had an innate sense of when someone was hurting and uncomfortable. I mean, that's. That's an empath. That really comes with dyslexia.

00:10:49
And again, it doesn't. This doesn't mean we're saying that. That's what, you know, we're not saying that. But that is one thing that every person that we interview, anyone that I know with dyslexia, that is, you know, or some of the five Ds, that is something that is. That is there.

00:11:08
That really stood out for me. And then the other thing is that was, you know, so much. I. I did. I was like, oh, this is Brent.

00:11:15
Oh, this is Brent. But you're. I mean, that's the one thing I said to you. I was like, but you're still here. Like, and you.

00:11:22
And I know that obviously, I can't. I can. I can. I don't know if the word is like, I can understand or sympathize with you, because that's not the right thing, because I don't have the same bouts of depression. And, you know, I have.

00:11:37
And we've talked about this, you know, on the podcast. Anxiety is just different levels for everyone. But I could feel you so much in this. And the one thing. Whereas kids were his soft spot, Erica said, whenever.

00:11:49
When whatever would be going on in the world, and hold on, I got to put this closer to me. I can't read. And then I can't say it's a real great combination. Whatever would be going on in his world would fall away. If a kid needed attention Be it his nephews or someone he just met.

00:12:08
And that is you to the T. That is so you. And, you know, reading this, there was a part of me that seeing you in there, I was also like, do you feel like you wish that you knew him because you feel like you could save him? But I don't know if that's really your personality in the sense. But, like, can you take us through any of that?

00:12:37
Like, if you, you know, or his parents, like, do you feel like I want to connect with them so I can talk to them? Like, do you. I don't even know to answer that.

00:12:52
I don't think right now I could talk to his parents. I don't think they'd want to hear me. Right. And that's out of complete respect because having someone known, fat, washed up Canadian coming and telling him all about your kid that you couldn't understand, that doesn't feel good.

00:13:19
You know, how many parents that we message from, how many people that listen to this podcast, you know, we feel that we let their kids down by not getting diagnosed early enough. Yo. Oh, totally. Right. It could be like, oh, we could have helped him.

00:13:34
We could have changed this. Right? Yeah. Right. So it's, you know, if it was at 12, why didn't we do it at 10?

00:13:39
If it's 10, why didn't we do it? If it's 4, why do we do 2? Right. That's just the nature of, of having kids. And so it's.

00:13:51
Would there be a day where I'd love to speak to his parents 100%. Is it something right now? I don't think so. I would talk to him 100, no problem. Yeah.

00:14:04
And get questions, answers, you know, because I'm not trying to.

00:14:10
I don't even know what the. What the right language is not exposed, isn't the right word. You're not trying to uncover something. You, you want to make them feel better. I want to make them feel better, but also the world behind me, you know, the, you know, and they talked about starting their.

00:14:37
They started the Grace and Murray Charity foundation, you know, and they want to talk, you know, it's. It's about mental health. What is the number one contributor to mental health? Learning disorders. So we spent all this money that goes into mental health, and we do not ever take care of the biggest contributor to mental health, which is learning sorcery.

00:15:09
So I'm sitting here kind of screaming to myself, crying that if people not. It's never going to get better if we don't know what the Root is if we're not taking care of the root, you know, if I don't somehow able to have a conversation with his parents, and if we're not able to use that platform to explain and attack that differently, then the cycle is gonna. Not gonna stop. It's. It's gonna continue.

00:15:59
And you know, my, you know, so, you know, it says Grayson went through a gamut of tests for attention development, emotional and psychological disorders as his teen years. There was never a clear result or answer to explain what was boiling beneath.

00:16:31
And we don't know what tests because so many of the tests are so right. Not what needs, you know. You know, Grace is 30. I just, you know, he's 31. You know, he's 30, she's 31.

00:16:49
So we go 15 years ago. So that's still in the 2000s, right?

00:16:59
So there it's. The phrase panic attacks doesn't explain the gravity. Dr. Michael Larndon or whatever, a clinical psyche psychiatrics or something, who also works with several PGA players, is consultant at the US Olympic Training center, says physical symptoms can severe enough to be confusing with a heart attack. Right.

00:17:28
But why you just don't have panic attacks. Why do you have panic attacks? Why do you feel that way? Why? We're not born with depression.

00:17:44
Well, not born with anxiety, but we're born with learning disorders. So what kicks off what, you know, Robin Williams, I use this as an example all the time. When that People magazine came out after he, you know, after he committed suicide, I lost my fucking mind. Because not once did it mention his dyslexia. Dyslexia.

00:18:11
Not once. No. And that there was just something out again about his early something dementia. And then that's what did it. And it was like, oh my God.

00:18:21
And you know, it angers me. And you know, we're born with our learning disorders with dyslexia, with adhd, with dysgraphia. Right. We're born with these dyscalculia. What kicks off what?

00:18:41
This stuff kicks off mental health. And nobody talks about it. So, you know, misunderstood was what caught my attention of this article. You know, if it didn't have misunderstood, there's no way I would have read through all this. Right?

00:19:03
And I think one of the things that you just said that is so important and I really want people to think about this because this is. This happens in so many different avenues. And it makes me also crazy where. And you talk about this so beautifully where it's like you have to get. You have to do step one.

00:19:25
You talk about This, I mean, we could actually track in each podcast back to, you know, when we first started, about the fundamentals. Right? When you're doing sports, you have to learn the fundamentals before you can get to the top. When you are treating an injury you can't treat, oh, I'm jumping to step B or something to, you know, to step F when you haven't started at A. And.

00:19:57
And I know I didn't explain that exactly the way you always explain it, but this is the same. I mean, in education, in the medical world, it's like, let's just put a band aid on it and hope that it gets fixed instead of getting to the root problem of it. And that's society. Everything is like, no, it just takes too much time to get down there. It's too messy.

00:20:19
Or we don't know what to do down there. And. And so we're just going to go and say, oh, no, look, we're at. At step C and we're fixing it. It's what's happened in education, you know, oh, we don't need to teach, you know, back to, like, the early ways that it was taught when kids were younger.

00:20:34
So then they're skipping all this and kids are getting, you know, falling under the radar because it's like they're not learning those fundamentals. Same with, you know, youth sports, when you're not getting the fundamentals. And it's the same with mental health. It's.

00:20:50
You're not getting to the root problem. It's. Oh, okay. He. This is this and this.

00:20:55
Let's find out why. Right? What. I mean, questions. It's why, you know, why and how.

00:21:04
Like, yo, how did we get here? Not that we're here. Yes, you know, we have to treat that. We're here. But how did we get here?

00:21:13
Why do we get here? You know, and it says, you know, Grayson drank as a teenager. No different from what other kids at school were doing. However, the cat and cascades and rhythm of the tour, prolonged bouts of isolation on the road, a game marked by inconsistencies and failure are conductive to drinking because of. Because becoming habitarily.

00:21:48
You know, we drank, we got away. We want to escape numbing now. Now the game marked by inconsistencies and failure, self esteem, nobody knowing how to. How to bring up, are conducting, you know, conducive to drinking becoming habitual. Yeah, that's what we do.

00:22:12
Like, that's. There I am. Here's my life right here. Just reading it. Well, 100 and.

00:22:20
And the other Thing. This is another quote that really stood out to me. He was passionate, said Grayson sister Erica. It was always directed at himself, though. He never purposely tried to upset anyone.

00:22:32
And that goes back. You frustrated or not, you never, like, you internalize.

00:22:49
And he was internalizing because he was so misunderstood. Yeah, right. You know, it's. You know, it talks about multiple stops, the tour near casinos, and afternoons in the gaming pit would often turn into late nights and early mornings.

00:23:07
I've had a lot of problems. Thank God gambling wasn't, you know, was one of them. I. I couldn't do two plus two. And so casinos and that stuff just was never my.

00:23:21
Grayson Nesmi lost more than 400,000 in gambling alone in 2017. Yeah, that's. No, that's, you know, recognizing gambling and partying or becoming a problem. It's not becoming a problem. That wasn't the problem.

00:23:42
We never addressed the problem. He didn't like being on the road. He was a homebody. He got his energy from family and friends because stuck in a hotel room, away from people he could trust did a number on him. And you've said that so many times, not being understood or connecting or being understood by people in your world.

00:24:08
It does a huge number on someone's mental health. And says Grayson got mean when he drank. He got. He was six one, yo.

00:24:23
He fought a lot. You know, a fight that left a man banged up.

00:24:31
You can only scream from the rooftops. Here I am so many times and being. Being looked through every. You know, like that. You're not there.

00:24:46
You know, then it talks about going to rehab. Betty Ford.

00:24:54
The boats, alcohol, gambling, anxiety, you know, spawned other problems, suffering back issues. You fell out of shape. Like Betty Ford. Did do anything about it? Absolutely not.

00:25:07
Mm. And. And here's something. I think it's right above that that also sticks out. It may seem hard to couple a high achieving and functioning person with anxiety and depression, but the prevalence is the same.

00:25:25
It's not greater with a professional athlete, says Dr. Lardon, because males especially have this macho attitude in sports. It continues because it remains astigmatism. And that is one of the reasons why I wanted to talk about this, because it's still as much as the world has changed, and it's something we let men talk about their feelings and we encourage. There is still astigmatism to, okay, you're a professional athlete.

00:26:02
You've hit this pinnacle part in your life. You should be happy. You shouldn't have feelings of negativity. We're all human. We all wake up the same.

00:26:12
We all have good days, we all have bad days. If you actually think of a professional athlete, there's more pressure. Oh, fuck. Thank. And I don't want to say the average person because I.

00:26:25
That's not what I want to do here. But like someone that's not a professional athlete. When you're a professional athlete and you're in the spotlight, you have people that count on you. It's your job. If you don't have it, the amount of pressure that is put on that for males is astro astronomical.

00:26:47
And we don't. I'm sorry. I know that there's a lot of people in many different leagues that talk about the mental health. But again, it's surface. It's not deep because there is so much pressure.

00:27:05
And if you have any slight where you are prone to mental health, you're prone to, you know, depression or these things, it is every day. How can you wake up every day and be like, okay, I'm one injury away from losing the thing that I love, the thing that I'm good at. All of these different things, right? Coupled with, if I don't perform, I'm. And I'm done.

00:27:30
What am I gonna do? So how so you try not to let your brain spin because you're like, oh, it is. It's not talked about enough in my opinion at all. As much as now, we're like, okay, it's okay. Yes, okay, you're a big strong man.

00:27:47
It's okay to have depression and all these things. But again, as you said, we are not talking about the details and the depthness of it and not giving a professional athlete the grace to say, yes, I'm really fortunate, I'm really lucky, but it's fucking hard. I mean, think about. I mean, I even know in just my house how my kids talk about, you know, football players and oh, this guy's not having, like, I can't even fathom. And yes, you guys are built different, but you also are human.

00:28:26
You know an article here, at one tournament, a helicopter dad brought his son to tears, chewing him out for a poor showing. Grayson picked up the kid's bag and caddied for him the remaining their remaining holes. Another time, in a golf course restaurant, overserved patron was talking smack aboard a junior golfer. Those are my people. Grayson interviewed intervered the challenge that the drunkard to 200 per whole match.

00:29:05
After losing the first six, the man walked off. Those are my people.

00:29:14
He would not put up with bullies.

00:29:19
You can be his buddy or you can play a stranger. If he saw someone treating. Treated the wrong way, he'd make it right. Grayson had an intimate sense of when someone was hurting or uncomfortable. And you can see it from a mile away.

00:29:43
You know, it's. You take free clothes, shoes, apparel he received from sponsors and send them to his high school, asking them to disperse. Dis. Distribute it to students who were in need. Kids were a soft spot.

00:30:14
Whatever would be going on in his world. Falling away. If a kid needed attention, but it's his nephews or someone he just met.

00:30:33
And, you know, there's parts that talk about that it wasn't easy being his friend or his family member, but it was because he was so misunderstood. And think about in life, if you're so misunderstood, how frustrating that has to be. You take a look at, you know, Grayson cut his charity.

00:31:18
It's. It's hard to be friends with somebody you don't understand. I mean, let's. Let me rephrase that. You're not friends, you're acquaintances.

00:31:30
And he knows that you're. You know, we're in his friend. And I don't mean that, you know, a friend has some understanding what's. What he's going through or what's going on.

00:31:48
Not full, but some.

00:31:53
And I want to bring it to. Even humans thrive off of connection and community. Right. There's. There's something that, I mean, we know it from.

00:32:11
You know, you can go back to evol. Evolution. Yeah, I'm gone. Yes. Going deep here.

00:32:19
And I just want people to think that are listening to this about relationships that they have with their friends. You know, there's always the saying, when I ask you how your day is, I really want to know. Right. There's a lot of people that are hurting so much that maybe they just ask, oh, hey, how are you? Because they know that that's a nice, proper thing to do.

00:32:50
But when you have someone that truly asks you, I really want to know how you're doing, and they want to get deep in the trenches with you.

00:33:00
Those are the kind of people you want to keep in your life and not. I know so many people that don't have those people. And people that are difficult. You know, you can think of the kid that's difficult, that knows they're difficult, and they just start becoming a shell of themselves because it's like no one understands me. And I'm, you know, taking it back to, like, kids that are struggling in school, struggling in life.

00:33:26
You struggle that much. And. And, you know, like, I've had friends you know, ask me if I'm in a tough time or whatever, how are you? And I can feel if I start really saying how I am. You could just feel people shutting down, right?

00:33:41
And, like, not listening. And imagine if you are at a level like yourself or Grayson and all the people that are in your world, because all the people that have to be in your world, and you can't actually ever express how you really are. That's so sad to me. Even if we do express, nobody understands. But that's where individuals that are on the outside have to be better.

00:34:12
That's why we all have to think a little deeper. And when you truly ask someone if you really know someone's hurting, you need to. There's an understanding, like, where someone can sit. Sit in the trenches with you. Right?

00:34:26
Like, I understand a lot of things that you talk about. I can't relate to all of it, right, Because I haven't been through it. But I have friends that have literally, they. They go to school, they have no idea. Like, they listen to the podcast, and they're like, jesus.

00:34:43
But they will listen and they'll sit next to me and they'll say, I don't understand, but I know it hurts you, and I can tell that. I just want to know. I want you to know I love you and it's okay. And I think so many people don't know how to do that because they're uncomfortable in their own feelings to be able to actually connect to that level. But that's what being a human is, and that's what actually makes you a person.

00:35:15
And I'm saying you, as in a generalization of people, we all need to be better. We need to be better for kids. We want, like, kids who. We just interviewed John Marle. He said he sat, like, at 4 or 5 and said to his dad, something doesn't feel right.

00:35:32
This is impressive. I can't swallow, right. I can't do this. And I remember Monk Armor Young. He always had to drink water when he did because he had that same thing.

00:35:40
He always thought he was going to choke. And I remember being like, oh, I was a little neurotic kid. I got to really be careful, careful with this. But think of the parents that doesn't have the time or doesn't. And it's not.

00:35:49
I'm not saying it's a knock on the parent that doesn't. But we all are going at such a speed. I know I go to speed. I just fell up the stairs because I was running up the stairs because I was, you know, being like, I got to get on the p. We all do it.

00:36:02
But if we all. Anyone that is listening to this, all I'm saying is just pause and think. Everyone is going through something. You might not connect and understand, but you can sit with someone still and give them the acknowledgment that you're listening without. Oh, this is uncomfortable.

00:36:24
I don't like it. I don't. I don't want to do this. And there's very few people that can do that. Yeah.

00:36:34
The Eric Murray articles. Those who grapple with suicide view it as freedom, a way to end the pain. But those left behind can be trapped in a loop questioning what went wrong and what they could do, what they could have done. And I'm excited for people who commit suicide feel like, what the fuck's wrong with you? You know what pain living with every day is on unexplainable.

00:37:17
What else it says. But left behind can be trapped in a loop of questioning.

00:37:28
So Grayson's family, they're questioning all the wrong things. It's not their fault they're never going to get an answer because you're questioning the wrong things. You know and you know Rob Williams, the People magazine, you're questioning all the wrong things.

00:37:54
So you think you're questioning right now what went wrong.

00:38:02
Trying to be basically laughed at for 30 years of his life is what he felt like I was never good enough. What's wrong with me? Why me? Why not me, who I'm nothing like, doesn't even come anywhere close to leaving someone. You know the questioning there as you know, the family members left behind to how he felt.

00:38:33
Yeah, he was my superhero. His dad said, you know, the. So Grayson's family and friends challenged their hurt into the foundation. I will aim to spread. Spread awareness about mental health battles the cork, you know, to get control.

00:39:05
Terry and Grace sister have taken college courses on how to best run the foundation. Great. Awesome. There's a whole portion that has been left behind, not talked about and missed because there's not the understanding and all the dyslexia foundations out there reading right. You're not doing.

00:39:36
What are you doing for kids?

00:39:41
You know, with. Yeah. This article. Obviously the fact that it was misunderstood.

00:39:57
That's a daily all day long feeling I have.

00:40:06
Yeah. And as you said, you know, the other foundations. Other. You know, how can we teach kids to read? How can we do this?

00:40:18
How can we.

00:40:21
It goes back to what you say all the time. It's the self esteem that matters and time. And time Again, when we talk to people, what we know we've been through in school, when you have dyslexia or the five Ds, you are searching for that confidence because you're constantly told that you're dumb, that you're worthless, that you're not trying hard enough. And you are completely misunderstood by a whole body of so many people that school's easy for. Or they just put a little work in and they can get it.

00:41:05
And they don't understand how someone that seems like they're. They should be smart or, hey, why can't you do it? And it's missing every factor. They're going right to D and they're missing a. And it's from that little kid sitting in the chair that is trying so hard to be like, I don't understand myself, right?

00:41:40
I don't understand why I can't get it. I don't know, like, why is everyone else getting it? People like, oh, why don't you tell me? What do you. What you see?

00:41:48
How do you tell a kid to say that? Tell me what you see. I'm a kid. What do you mean, what do I see? I didn't know there's anything else.

00:41:59
Nope. And you got to get tutored because you suck at this and you suck at that, and you suck at that. Instead of saying, you know what, there's some really good things that you're good at, let's strengthen those. Because none of that is strengthened. We have to strengthen what is our strengths on our own, or if we're fortunate enough to have people see it, which some of us are, some of us are not, but some of us are.

00:42:27
And as confident as we get as adults and as strong as we get, because that is one thing that you build. You get a chip. Chips on our shoulder, anger, whatever it is that pushes us through, there's still times where that kid sits there that's completely lost. That's like, I gotta do this myself. Because no one gets it.

00:43:00
And you feel like you're on island on your own. And then that's when you get all this other. And you know, I'm just gonna bring it back for a second. The conference. I was at this, this weekend or this week, and, like, thinking about an adult woman, right?

00:43:17
That's 51. I felt so smart, and it was one of the first times that I felt so fucking smart. And it was almost like an outer body experience, but it was because I was in my element and I was able to talk, and there was nothing that I knew What I was talking about. Right. It was my strength.

00:43:39
And I've always known there's a strength there. But 51 years to realize, okay, that actually is your strength and to feel. It was crazy. Huh? Kids should be feeling that early, but kids should be feeling that early.

00:43:57
Yeah. Because the world would be such a better place if people actually, you know, when people say, like, what's your definition of success? To me it's just being happy and being comfortable and who. And in your skin and who you are. That is it.

00:44:16
Loving yourself 100%.

00:44:22
And we just need to be. We need to be better so things like this don't happen. People are not taking their lives because they're misunderstood.

00:44:34
Yep. There's nothing, nothing to say. You know, talk about, you know, the election and, you know, President Trump coming in or the Democrats or, you know, liberals all doesn't matter. Kids are the future. Yeah.

00:44:55
And what are we doing for them? Everyone focuses on the wrong.

00:45:03
And there needs to be change. Because if there's not people out there like you standing up, even though days that you don't want to. Because I know there's days, lots of days, every day. I know, but you do it because. Will you tell us why you do it?

00:45:29
But it's amazing how many people tell me, when it comes to this world, how do you know you're not smart, you can't read a neuropsych. You don't know how to do this. I've been fighting for a year and a half. I didn't reach out because how would you know?

00:45:52
I'm a 48 year expert now. If you take a look back in any researcher in dyslexia, anything like that, I guaranteed I've had dyslexia longer than. Longer than they've ever researched. So I know more than they ever did, they ever will, because they can't live it. Yep.

00:46:16
None of them have ever been depressed. Never. Never have ever been shot down and crushed and not connected and looked at suicide and depression while they're doing their research. No. They got no idea I do it.

00:46:36
So another person never feels the way I do every day. And I appreciate you fighting. And so many people do. No. Or they always say, till next time, keep fit and have fun.

00:46:54
I'm gonna leave it at that. But I thank you because I know this was not exactly what you wanted to do today.

00:47:06
Yeah. But this article was important to you. And it's important for people to hear because there's a lot in it. And again, we all need just to take a breath and think, you know what? That person has been struggling and I'm gonna leave it with.

00:47:33
That's why you need to share this.

00:47:39
Because a lot of people do not have these kind of conversations because it's uncomfortable and they don't want to feel and they don't want to do this and they don't want to do that. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired. People need to fucking step it up. So share this.

00:47:55
Like, rate review and thank you for joining. Another episode of Word Blindness, Dyslexia Exposed.