S2E32: Unlocking the Mystery - How Subtle Learning Challenges Can Shape a Child's Academic Journey

Do you want to ensure that your child has the tools to succeed in school and beyond? Get ready to discover the solution that will equip your child with the understanding needed to level the playing field for the rest of their life.

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Discover how adequate sleep can boost cognitive function in adults and improve overall brain health.
• Learn to identify the early signs of dyslexia in children and understand the importance of early intervention.
• Explore effective strategies for managing dyscalculia in students to help them succeed in math and everyday life.
• Understand the significance of early diagnosis for learning disabilities and how it can positively impact a child's academic journey.
• Uncover coping mechanisms for dysgraphia in teenagers to support their writing skills and boost their confidence.

Transcript:

 

00:00:05
Welcome back to Word Blindness, dyslexia exposed. I am Juliet Hahn, extremely tired, here with my co host, Brent Sobel. That's a new one. Yeah. I don't.

00:00:18
I do not do. I used to do really well without sleep. Like, really well. I did not need a lot of sleep. I especially.

00:00:25
I mean, my kids woke up multiple times a night when they were, like. I, like, enabled all of that. I'd be like, yes, I'm here. I was. No.

00:00:31
Never got a good night's sleep for years. I could do four hours, and then I hit 48, 49, 50. It's like, hey, guess what? You're an old person now. If you don't sleep, you're a.

00:00:46
My kids. My kids woke up every night.

00:00:54
Oh, geez. Lila was still, I don't know, eight, nine, you know, every. Every time I was home because I was always traveling. Every single night I was home, 3am she'd come wake me up. Oh, right.

00:01:10
Every time just to see you. No. Then I'd pick up, take her back to bed, crawl back in bed, you know, crawl back in bed with her, fall asleep every single night. I don't. Till she was 9, 10.

00:01:29
You know, so y. Mine. And people will always say, like, mine didn't. We had our boxers. Slept in bed with us.

00:01:37
So our kids did not. When they were newborns, they did. I literally propped pillows next to me, and I would nurse all night long. I mean, it was part. Part of.

00:01:45
Part of the problem. Why? Then they kept waking up. They were like, oh, wait, I. I'm hungry.

00:01:49
But it was fine. I was like, you know what? It was like, three times a night, all of them. I mean, until they were, like, 18, 19 months. And then I think they did sometimes and then sleep through the night, but not really, as you said, like, there was a time.

00:02:02
And now I'm waking up at the same time every night when Carla. Even if she's not crying, because now my body's like, oh, I guess this is what we're supposed to be doing. Like, no, it's not. And stop it. How do I not do it?

00:02:15
I'm up at 3, then I'm up at 4, then I'm up at 5, and I'm, like, trying to go to sleep back. I haven't slept through the night. You said that 30 years. Oh, yeah. I.

00:02:27
Maybe when you get. Oh, wait. Because you're not. You're not of the old age yet. Oh, yeah.

00:02:31
Oh, maybe this year. Aren't you turning 48? 47. 48. 48.

00:02:38
Yeah. That's when it starts. Yeah, you can. We can report back and you can tell me how that first time. Well, the first report necessary.

00:02:50
I'm like, the sleep, please. I'm like, old and need to, like, sleep. I'm taking chamomile teal before I go to bed. Whatever. Anyways, that's not what we were talking about today.

00:03:00
But when I don't sleep, also my attention deficit goes really, really sideways and then everything else does. So annoying. I can't even tell you. I'm so frustrated. I know.

00:03:12
There's worse things out there, though. So we are going to talk about. I'm sure the listeners appreciated that little opening and I'm sure they can recall some of our episodes. We were starting to talk about something and we're like, we can't talk about that. We can't talk about that.

00:03:32
And there was, I want to say, like three or four episodes that we kind of did that. I was like, no, we can't talk about that, Brent. And you're like, okay, fine. So guess what? We can talk about it now.

00:03:43
Do you want me to start? Well, this is. This is all you. You know, this has been. It's been your family's journey.

00:03:52
It's been your journey a couple, you know, a couple times. This kind of example in your family. So, so fun, isn't it? Yeah. Yes.

00:04:08
So my oldest, Montgomery, has the five D's. Four. Four of the five D's. Right. We all know this.

00:04:18
I have my sister, my dad, but just one of my sisters was diagnosed. And my middle son, Truman, going into junior year, he started taking some AP classes last year, like chemistry and a couple other classes started to kind of give him some trouble. He's always been like a decent student. Like a little above average. I shouldn't say that.

00:04:42
Above average. But school never really was difficult. Since school is really difficult for Montgomery. I was like, okay, you're good, you're good, you're good. Shake hands.

00:04:53
We're good.

00:04:56
And as we've been doing the podcast, as we've been doing know, diving into more research on the five Ds, there's been a couple times where I was like, wait, you know, Truman did that when he was little? Huh? You know that kind of. Huh. Thinking about it like, oh, that's interesting.

00:05:16
He had a really bad speech impediment. He talked really early, but no one could understand him. He wasn't. He was slow to read, but he could read. So I was like, okay, it's just a boy thing, right?

00:05:26
He's a summer birthday. That. That typical thing that everyone says that we tell people like to go fuck off. I did that. You know, he summer birthday.

00:05:34
He didn't really have to get instruction though. It was just like he had. Was in maybe like he needed a little extra help in the classroom, but never had to go out of the classroom. Some things like that. Math always was a little bit like, maybe he would like, oh, I didn't do well on that test.

00:05:54
I have to go retake it. And then fine. Okay. So. And then we did have a tutor, but we all kind of had.

00:06:00
All my kids had a tutor for math just because of my dyscalculia. He would and always was like on top of it. Right. So he would get like a tutor until we got to algebra 1. Pre algebra, algebra 1.

00:06:16
Like, he was always like an A student. Then it was like a B. And then it was like, okay, now I'm a little bit like getting a little word Cs. And it was like, okay. Are you struggling in it?

00:06:25
No, it's just a lot of work. Okay. So you don't feel like putting the work in, but you're a very hard worker. So, you know, some of those. Some of the teachers would say he just needs to focus and put a little bit more work in.

00:06:35
That started happening last year. And that's when my senses kind of started going off. And I was like, wait a second. You know what? He's really terrible at spelling.

00:06:45
Always kind of has been. But I haven't seen his work. You know, I really don't help my kids, as we've talked about many times in school. So I really haven't seen his stuff. He never has had any teacher say, hey, I think you need to look into this.

00:06:59
Right. We know they're not going to so check. Right? Right. So like that's again.

00:07:06
But I was kind of always like, didn't think anything of it. When Truman was there was probably sometimes where I was like, maybe he has like the hypo attention deficit or he could been a little. A little spacey when he was little, but nothing that was like no red, you know, no really big red flags. Lots of friends, love sports, always happy to go to school. Would actually there's times where he would say, I'd rather take a test.

00:07:33
I like tests because I like to see. And I was like, okay, then, you know, in my head, the opposite of us, right? Yeah. But he doesn't have any test anxiety. Now one of the things that is really interesting about Truman, he really does not have anxiety.

00:07:45
He's a very kind of even keeled, laid back human. Sort of like when I've talked to my husband, my husband was the same way. Like stressors in life really didn't get to him until he was like, you know, the head of a household. And it was like okay, now I got to stress about five other people so maybe I have a little bit more stress than I did. But he is very kind of just like practical chill.

00:08:05
Like puts the work in, in my head. Like he always got it done in school, always figured it out. Like was never doing tons of homework when he got home, you know, like. But always, I mean he's been on the honor roll like good, good grades, average, good, above average grades. So after last year I was like, you know what honey?

00:08:27
Like how, how much are you really struggling? And I'm sorry cuz one teacher said to me, you just need to try harder. And then I lost it. Yeah, the. He was the guiHahnce counselor.

00:08:38
Yeah, I lost it cuz I was like I don't think you should be taking algebra 2. Like I think I feel like if you can put that off your junior year, especially if you want to play basketball. And I know from Montgomery like your junior year like some of these classes are harder. You had a couple classes that gave you some difficulty. Like I feel like we need to explore something here.

00:08:56
Everyone was like what are you crazy? He is not dyslexia dyslexic. And I was like there's something. I'm like I'm telling you there's something and I want to get him tested. So I went looking for a doctor time and time again.

00:09:12
It was like, oh, we have, we're a neuros. We're a psychologist office with a educational psychologist from school. And I was like okay, no, no thank you. I know I don't want that. And I couldn't.

00:09:27
Or. But as we are doing word blindness, right? There were so many times that I was like. We would talk things through or we would hear from a parent like this is the neuropsych I got. It was a school psychologist that went into their own practice and I'd be like oh my God, that's so interesting.

00:09:42
Right? I'm starting to put more two and two together. This is how a lot of times we do get our knowledge though, right? This is like how we get kind of learning from other people's experiences and then diving into and doing our own stuff, right? Absolutely.

00:09:57
That's you know, our experiences have led us down other, other paths. And the diving. More experiences with other people to build and connect the dots and information is power. More. More experiences, you know, is power.

00:10:12
That's why we come here and talk about it. Because we have, we have struggled. We have dove it into our own stuff and, you know, a ton of other people's other stuff to get a lot of these answers. Right. And before, I wasn't talking about it because I didn't know.

00:10:29
And it was like, you know, I needed to talk to Truman about, do you mind if I. And he said, what did he say? Answers. And this, this is, you know, this isn't a two week or a theory process. It's been, you know, probably six months now.

00:10:45
I feel like it's been longer, but probably. Yeah, yeah, I'm terrible, but yeah, but it takes, it takes time to. And this is a way. It happens a lot when you have a, you know, extremely dyslexic kid, you know, you know, that struggles, you know, a lot and like, you know, obviously mongover myself with the 4Ds. And then just like it's very common when you have two kids, one dyslexic and the other one's not, and the other one's an honorary student and whizzing through school and wise.

00:11:17
And, you know, this, you know, so it's. This has happens all the time where somebody may not be as severe, Right. And be able to push through school. But this is, this is when it starts kind of, you know, wearing its head. High school, mid high school, sophomore year, junior year, things are getting a little bit harder, Tests are a little bit harder, words are getting harder, more information, longer problems.

00:11:48
So this is a lot of times when it starts, people start asking that question, is there something here or is it just school? Right, right. And then these are the questions that are really important for parents to ask because there was a lot of people that were like, well, why does it matter? Even Truman was like, well, why does it matter if I have something? Like, I've gotten this far, so why does it matter?

00:12:10
And it brings it back to the road map that you always talk about. It's really important to have that roadmap, especially if you also want to go to university. But then even if you don't want to go to college, right. It still knows how you learn. And when you get out into the workforce, when you have kids, when you have grandkids, there's so many things to be like, you know what?

00:12:28
I look at that. So Truman does not have a lot of trauma from school. Right. So Even though he does. So he is diagnosed with which I was surprised with one.

00:12:36
He is. Has dyscalculia. When I say dyscalculia, he gets angry. He's like, stop saying it that way. That's the worst.

00:12:42
It is the worst. And every time I say it, I think I roll my eyes. I've been watching clips. But it is the correct way to say dyscalculia. But dyscalculia.

00:12:51
And he's dysgraphic. And to me, dysgraphia. I thought I knew all about dysgraphia. And so I had all these questions for the doctor. I was like, wait, I'm so confused now.

00:13:01
Yes, Truman does have messy handwriting. I have messy handwriting. And. But I always considered it like my dyslexic handwriting. I always considered Truman was going fast.

00:13:13
But it's not his. His dyscalculia. I mean, his dysgraphia is not. It's not the motor skills. His is the processing of the dyscalculia.

00:13:22
I mean, of the dysgraphia. So we kind of dove into that because I always just, like, I always took dysgraphia to be the handwriting, but there's so much more to it. I also always thought my dyslexia was like, I can't get out of what's in my head. Like, I can't speak. And then put it on a piece of paper.

00:13:40
Oh, yeah, right. So I always thought that was my. My dyslexia. And then I was like, wait a second, am I. Jesus?

00:13:49
This is like the unpeeling of the onion. Like, what else am I? So it was very interesting. And you use the words all the time. I can think.

00:13:58
I can. You know, I can think I need to say and want to say, but I can't put it on pen to paper. Right. Yeah. I cannot do that at all.

00:14:08
So the doctor said that's what Truman struggles. Asked Truman, and he said, no, I don't struggle with that in the testing. So I said to her, and she's like, that's so interesting. He doesn't realize. Yeah.

00:14:18
Because he's never. It's. It's just always been. And he's figured ways around it. And that's what is so incredible, that he's figured ways around it.

00:14:28
So there's like. He's worked it. Right. He's smart. He knows what to do.

00:14:35
It's like, okay, I know how to do it. And this is where schools, which you can understand, we give the benefit of the doubt to teachers in schools. It's like, okay, well, they might have a slight. He's not severe. He has the slightness of it, but it still hinders when things get harder.

00:14:53
And that's why, you know, later in school, you know, quasi high school is one that was coming up, you know, somebody said to me, why don't you just tell me what you see? What do you mean? How am I supposed to tell you? Yeah, same thing, you know Montgomery, you know, or you know, Truman, that's. We find our ways around it.

00:15:13
We. We don't know.

00:15:18
We almost don't know it's an issue. Right. Because it's been the whole time. It's not like it's. It wasn't there then.

00:15:26
It is, right? Oh, that's. I wasn't there before now, you know, like when I said, somebody said to me, why don't you just tell me? Why don't you just tell me what you see? You know, I just.

00:15:40
We don't know what we see. Like, we don't know that we see something different. Yeah, right. You know, Well, I was, you know, that one still always gets me. What do you mean?

00:15:50
You know, and so we find ways around it because we have no other option. We don't even know that we have that. We don't know that. It's not like we're right handed writers and we go to left hand now. Okay, we know there's a difference, right?

00:16:05
We don't know. It's. This is why knowledge is powerful. And so the testing. Just because I'm sure people have a lot of questions right now.

00:16:14
We did find someone awesome. It was a referral. And we did three, I think he had three days on Sundays. And he was not, I mean, he was missing football. He was like, like was not thrilled about that.

00:16:29
But he did it because he's like, okay, as I said, he's, he's very easygoing. He's like, yeah, it's fine. You know, afterwards I was like, what, did it suck so bad? Oh my God. Because, you know, I remember, he's like, I mean, it wasn't fun, but whatever.

00:16:41
I mean, it was, it was, you know, they did a lot of math. So he is dyscalculia and that's visual. So that also is tied in with the spelling. Which I thought was very interesting too, because I was like, oh, I just always assumed dyslexia was always just about the spelling. So one of the things, and this is what fascinates me with brains and when people get together and, and get married and they miss their genes together.

00:17:09
So his language is really, really, really strong. She's like, above average. Like, his language is so strong now, Montgomery, that even though he has dyslexia and that is one of his weaknesses, there's a part that he also has that, like, Penelope's very strong in that. And like my brother, there's, like, people in my family that are very, very strong. Like, she's like, I.

00:17:31
She goes. I was actually taken back how strong his language actually is. She goes. So it was like, really quickly off the bat, I was like, oh, this kid's not dyslexic. This is so interesting.

00:17:40
She goes, but then. So that he was very high on things and then very low on things. And she goes. And when that happens, you're like, wait a second. And that's.

00:17:51
And that's more times than not, you know, very rare. It's like Montgomery and I, where we're very low on everything. Right, right. You know, unfortunately, this. What makes.

00:18:04
This is what makes things tough. This is what makes things hard is that we find a way around things so early to disguise them. Right. You know, you don't even realize you're disguising. Right?

00:18:19
No, no. Yeah. Figuring it out. Yeah. Finger mo.

00:18:23
That's why I call them defense mechanisms. You know, people didn't even know you have defense mechanisms because you don't need to. You don't know what to look for. No, it's, we're, we're, we're smart, we're brilliant. Finding ways around things at a very young age and disguising them in ways like, you know, like this.

00:18:46
And it's, you know, you said something. It's, it's for later on, you know, obviously, you know, all this stuff is hereditary, so. And it's, it's going to be passed down. But if you're going into, to college or you're going into the workforce, it's, it's understanding what all this means, you know, for you now, for you in the future, for your family and future. For your future employments, what makes sense?

00:19:12
What do you want to do? You know, is being a writer or not saying you can't be a writer, but is that maybe not be the best path? If you have two paths, Just using that as a, you know, you know, as an example or like a mathematician. Right. So, like, and that's what you said, like going into school, a mathematician, like a math teacher.

00:19:33
But so like that. Those are things, as you just said, like going. When you go to college, I mean, he wants to go to College. So, like, okay, your major. Yes.

00:19:42
Could you get through it? Yeah. But do you want to put that extra pressure on yourself knowing, okay, I want to go like, this is an example. And we talked about this with Montgomery. But when I first went into school and I went into corporate fitness, like, fitness.

00:19:56
I was like, oh, this will be. I get into fitness. You know, I. I'm so good at that. But then I had to take anatomy and physiology, because fitness, you have to know.

00:20:03
And I was, oh, my God. I. Okay, that. Holy. I.

00:20:08
That's not the way my brain works, you know, and so those kind of things. And I remember there was one time Montgomery was saying, like, you know, being a fitness trainer, and it seems like that's a. Like, okay, because you're. That's like, where his strength is. But then when you're.

00:20:20
Like, when you break it out and what you have to learn there, sometimes those kind of things are hard. So it's like, okay, how can I get. How can I figure that out and do it maybe in a different way? We talked to Hahnielle Fetty. Being a nurse right now, she was strong in science.

00:20:34
So, like, her dyslex, which is interesting. Like, the English and the history is where she was weak. That's what my family is. What is so interesting about us is their English, and our history is what are stronger. So Montgomery's dyslexia, that's where the doctors are always like, that's so interesting because that's his strength.

00:20:51
But then he has a learning disability in it. So it's like. That's like a, you know, kind of like a mind, right? It's like, this is where you're strong, but this is also where you have your deficit. So Truman doesn't have the deficit in the language.

00:21:03
And so that's like something where, you know, he takes, like, history. He can sit there and listen to the teacher, and he just absorbed it. He loves history. Like, he always has. Does really well.

00:21:14
He takes two aps. Now, like, that's, you know, in English, he would. But he's like, the writing part of that is difficult in it, even though he never has put those two together. But now that. And.

00:21:25
And he's a slow reader. And she said his decoding. She's like, he doesn't have the best decoding. She's like, but he figures it out. So I do remember him being a slow reader when he was little and thinking, oh, no.

00:21:36
And asking. I. I do feel like I have to talk to my mom a little bit about it, but I Do feel like, you know, I was always on high alert after obviously Montgomery. I'm sure, I'm sure you were. Oh yeah.

00:21:46
Every parent 100 you were. It just wasn't as severe and screaming from the rooftops, you know, as Montgomery. And when you scream for the rooftops and struggle as severely as having 4Ds, it's kind of bring. Brings that pressure down a little bit. Right.

00:22:09
So, so that was really interesting. So when we got the, you know, so he did the three test. She said three days, you know, three Sundays. I think they were an hour and a half, two hours. She said he might have to do a fourth, but we'll see.

00:22:21
And then, you know, it was like, you know what? I've got a pretty good, pretty good things. And she was really cool because she loved the science behind all of the research that she's done. So she does, she does the applied like where it's like, okay, she's read something. But then she sees how the kids, she's like, so I don't like to like go in and be like, okay, this test says this and that.

00:22:39
She like watches them. And so I really liked her method of how he was diagnosed. And so this is the next question that I know people will ask like, okay because so she's like, I don't want him to have an iap. She goes, I know your district and it will be a fight that you don't need to do because they're going to say look at his grades. Like, you know, he's got a low a high B on most stuff.

00:23:07
You know like again where someone now high B. Wow. Yeah. I mean he gets, he gets good grades not in science and math. So those always bring down, you know, his grade.

00:23:16
But like his history in English are always really high. So his average like he usually has like a 90 something GPA. I don't think he's ever really gone under that. Except 10th grade. A couple chemistry killed him.

00:23:30
Killed him. And that math, he had to take like a lower math or like a. An. It was not. It was a.

00:23:36
It was like the math before instead of taking the algebra 2. And so that's why this year I was like, you know what? I have such trauma with algebra 2. Like I think I took like two weeks of it. And they were like, you got to get out.

00:23:47
Like you can't, you know. And I was never taught it correctly anyways. So we also learn a very, very specific way when you have discalculia. You do. There's not a lot of resources and that's what the.

00:23:59
One of the things the doctor said. She goes, not like dyslexia. She goes, there's really not a lot of stuff that you can do, especially at this age. She goes, however, so we're not going to do an IEP because you don't need it. She goes, it's going to.

00:24:13
It's a fight that you don't need. And there's really not a lot of remediation that can happen. So you're going to do a 504. And she put together all these accommodations. And I have to talk with.

00:24:24
Through with Truman because he has never had to do that going into your junior year. I remember that's when I had to then go to the resource room. And I have a lot of around that. Or I had a lot of around that that I feel like I've let go. But that sucked.

00:24:40
Like, it was like all of a sudden, bless you. All of a sudden it was like, wait, why are you in our classes? Oh, your grades suck. Yeah, I probably should have been here the whole time, but I didn't get a diagnosis earlier, right. So there's parts that we have to kind of dive into and look into and talk through.

00:24:58
But now we know. And I had a lot of guilt around it. I shed some tears around it. I talked to Truman about my guilt and he kind of was like, what? Why are you guilty?

00:25:12
He's like, mom, I'm totally fin. Fine. And I was like, yes. However, I also just was like, you're fine because I. I need you to be fine.

00:25:22
I. I don't think I can handle all like this again. When you were little, it was just a lot. And so I felt, you know, like he kind of. Kind of had to figure it out on his own.

00:25:32
But there's a bunch of points that I want to talk on, but I want to let you. Since I just babbling. If you have anything. You're. You're.

00:25:40
You're not babbling at all. You know, it. You know, walking. There's a lot that goes into. You know, it's never cookie cutter.

00:25:48
It's never one size fits all. Especially when you have one already that has more. That is more severely, y'all. So it gets just, you know. You know, one of the biggest things is that we are.

00:26:06
We're smart. We're very, very, very smart. Very brilliant. Finding ways around things that just gives you. Gives you a cl.

00:26:17
Smart. We are to build and navigate our own little world without even knowing what our world is. No, he found his Way around things without even knowing. Oh, this is just me. Right.

00:26:28
We find ways around things. Like myself, you know, you know, back in hockey, you know, I never napped. Right. You know, only person I probably player in the world ever not to. So, you know, my less, my adhd and just like it worked when I got to the rank, people like, what?

00:26:45
How'd you know that? I didn't know that. No, you put two and two together later. Yeah, you put it together. So you just find ways around things and resources around things without any knowing.

00:26:56
So that's, that's the brilliant side of who we are to navigate things around there. But, you know, sometimes it comes to a head when you run into certain things. And now, you know, right now, obviously two or three. I've been tested, you know, have some things. But that roadmap for them moving forward is, is there.

00:27:26
It's in their back pocket. They have the understanding of how to, how to build and move forward with it. You know what, what? You know, Montgomery's road rap is what Truman's, you know, roadmap is obviously, you know, Penelope's eighth grade, so, you know, could she. And yes, but she's your little reader, so.

00:27:48
Well, so that. So she's a. Right. She's. She's ninth grade, the first year of high school.

00:27:53
But will I. She's like very strong. I mean, like 99, like very strong in school. But she also works. This is what's really interesting.

00:28:03
And this is, I think what's important, like for two things. So. And why. What we are doing with the foundation is talking about educating earlier. You know, educating.

00:28:14
Because a teacher is not going to realize, oh, okay. Truman actually has. Even though his brother has these things. Like there's. Because as.

00:28:22
As you just said, there's things that he's worked around to get around, not even realizing he's getting around. So someone might say, well, okay, well, so still, what's the point? Like, what is the point? Yes, I hear the roadmap and stuff like that, but if there's nothing you can do. However, if he was diagnosed earlier, he would have had like the study skill skills that when he got into 10th and 11th grade, when things got harder, he would actually have had those skills as a young kid.

00:28:45
Now Montgomery had, you know, all of that. He's first year school. I think one of the things that I laughed about, I was like, I haven't heard anything about school yet. He is not doing what he is meant to be doing. And I know that.

00:28:59
And it'll be interesting when all of a sudden he's like, hey, Mom. So every time, yeah, everything's good. Everything's good. So he knows what he needs to do. He still loves to try cut corners because it takes a lot of work to get it done.

00:29:15
It is exhausting. And yes, even if you don't have any of the five Ds and you're in college, it's still a lot of work and you're taking hard classes. It takes a lot of work. And so we're not saying that that's what it is, but it is a different kind of work when you're struggling. And people don't always like, oh, he gets good grades.

00:29:34
So what? Doesn't matter. But. But he's worked a ways around, and he has a very atypical way of studying, I'm sure, because it's not like. And then some of those classes, it didn't work anymore.

00:29:46
So that was very interesting as she broke it down. It also helped me as a parent understand that's so interesting. So that's why chemistry was a real. Like, I didn't take. I wasn't allowed to take chemistry because I was the dumb girl.

00:30:01
I took chemistry and I think I got a 25. You probably shouldn't have been allowed to take it either. I took environmental science. I don't know what that was. We didn't have that.

00:30:15
Oh, my God. It was. It was. I was torture. Oh, I'm sure.

00:30:19
And the thing that's interesting is Truman was like, it would have. I could have thought it would have been interesting. He watched Breaking Bad, that show, so it was like, there's, like, interesting parts. He's like, but whoa. No, I didn't.

00:30:31
Like, he did not enjoy that at all. So could he have had the study skills to be able to make it maybe a little bit easier? Who knows? Because some people are really, you know, good in science. Some people are not.

00:30:42
There's like, all of us have our intelligence, our strengths and weaknesses. So we're not saying getting him diagnosed is now going to take away, you know, any of the. It's not going to make the weaknesses, strengths now, but it could help build them up and make them a little bit more. And again, that understanding is just so key to this because if you don't have some of that understanding, like you said, to build up those, you know, some of those things. If.

00:31:10
If you don't know, you don't have the understanding what they are, you can't build them up because they're not built up in the Atypical way, as you just referred to. Right. And so again, for the teacher, that's like, not mentioning it. They're like, oh, you know, he's a little slow. Oh, but he got it.

00:31:28
Okay. He just. You know, there are kids that are slow to read, you know, that maybe are not dyslexic. Right. So there are things that.

00:31:34
It's hard, but if we can educate and give little. Little kind of cues. Oh, you know, okay, that's interesting. Like the spelling. When someone's really important spelling, there is something that's there.

00:31:46
Like that there is whether. Now I understand it's also like a, you know, slight dysgraphia. And because it's a visual thing, which is. Or that's also. Could be a part of the.

00:31:56
I have to. I might be wrong on that one. That might be the discal coolia with the spelling. It's something that was so interesting the way she explained it. And I was like, oh, wow, okay.

00:32:05
I know a lot of stuff, but I didn't ever correlate those two things together. And so what we will do is go through all of the. The. All the testing that she gave back. Will go and sit down with Truman and say, okay, here are the accommodations.

00:32:23
Because also SATs, there's things that, like, you know what I mean? He's like, mom, I'm the first one out. I don't want untimed. And I'm like, yeah, untimed didn't work for me. I have a friend that her daughter is.

00:32:36
Is dyslexic and untimed. Actually, like, it is. Oh, no, she's not dyslexic. She's. I forget what she has.

00:32:46
She's got an eye. Just like an eye disorder. And she's really, really smart. But the untimed, actually, it, like, she needs it because of her. Her eyes.

00:32:56
But schools give her a hard time because she gets really good grades. But if she doesn't get the untimed, it really screws her. I actually. And that's, you know, so it's. It's love leveling the playing field.

00:33:08
So, you know, if you're trying to climb a ladder and you only have one leg, you're not going to climb as fast. You may get through it, absolutely, but not as fast as somebody else that has, you know, has two legs. Right. So it's. It's giving those.

00:33:29
It's evening the playing field, making it so that playing field is always level, you know, for each. You know, each individual. Each kid. Because if you're trying to climb that ladder with one leg, you're always going to. Oh, you know, is it fair for you to struggle?

00:33:46
No. Is there ways that. That we could build the. Help you Not a struggle. Struggle and make the playing field a little more level?

00:33:55
Absolutely. And that's what this is all about. Yeah. Right. It's not giving someone a leg up, but you're always going to compensate.

00:34:01
Right. With one leg. You're compensating and working extra hard. And it's like, you know what? Let's.

00:34:06
Let's. Even so. Because I did have. I was telling someone about Truman, and they were like, okay, what? So what?

00:34:13
And they're like, I'm not being rude, but like, what is the big deal if he gets okay grades? Like, he gets good grades. Not okay. He gets good grades. Like, what.

00:34:21
What is the point? Like, you just spent a lot of money. And I'm like, right. And. And here are all the different points.

00:34:27
And someone still might say, yeah, it doesn't. It's not. But as life gets harder, as we said, university, college, all of these different things the next. Like this year, I was able to, you know, talk to the teacher, or I mean, he was able to talk to. He's gonna be able to talk and be like, I need the notes before.

00:34:45
Let's see if it helps. You know, let's see. Let's see if he uses it. I mean, it's all very interesting. It was not the same journey as I did when I went through it with Montgomery.

00:34:56
Very different. Yes, I did have guilt, but I did talk to him about it. And I said to Truman, as I cried, I said, I feel really guilty. I, like, I hope you never feel like that you were struggling and you couldn't come to me because I was too. You know, and he was like, yeah, no.

00:35:13
Then never felt any of that. And I'm like, okay, good. Typical teenage boy. He's like, no, you're fine. But I did.

00:35:21
I felt like I know so much about it, and I still didn't catch it. Again, you know. You know so much about it. You didn't catch it.

00:35:35
It's not always easy to catch when you find ways around things. Exactly. No, that's where the. How smart we are. We're not waving our hand today, looking at us.

00:35:47
Right. We're doing the opposite. Or find ways. Okay, I need to get to that. How can I get to that without people seeing that?

00:35:56
I can get to that this way. And that's how we do it.

00:36:03
Every one of these journeys is unique. Especially when you've gone through with your family, your dad and your sister. Right. Yourself. There's a lot.

00:36:15
There's a lot to each one of you is different and poses different strength and poses different weaknesses. And I think one of the things that's really interesting is listening to cues of what your kid says and thinking about this, because there was a couple of times where, like, Truman's guiHahnce counselor was, like, when he went into high school, like, you should be taking APS here. Why aren't you? You, like, had a hundred in history. And he said to me, and so I understand why the guiHahnce counselor said what he said.

00:36:47
He. Truman said to me, mom, it's so much work in the summer. I don't want to do that. Like, I don't want to do that. And I was like, all right.

00:36:53
But I don't know if that's the best. Like. But I. Again, we've talked about, like, I push my kids in certain things, but I'm not gonna. Like, I don't want them to ever have stress that's undue.

00:37:03
Like, that's not. That's not necessary. But I don't understand that. You mean you have work in the summertime. I'm still a lot.

00:37:13
A lot of work in the summer. So, like, a lot. Like, you have to, like, like, three papers, like, big papers. Yeah. I mean, it just shows, like, those are the kids dedicated to their academic academics.

00:37:24
So you have. You have summer work. I didn't know that was possible. School was over. Yeah.

00:37:30
Nope. Not when you have aps. So freshman year, he didn't. And now I know when he says, like, I was like, all right. And that's where the guiHahnce counselor was like, he just has to work harder.

00:37:41
And then when I was thinking about it, so I said to him, like, when you said it's a lot of work, like, was it because you just didn't feel like doing it? And he's like, yeah, it's the summer. I don't. Like, I've just worked really hard. We put extra effort into things that we.

00:37:54
People don't realize. Right. Like, you're working so hard to get stuff done that he just was like, I just need a break. Right. But someone could hear that and be like, oh, he's just lazy on it.

00:38:04
Right. But that's. That's. That's. The things that we get, we hear all the time.

00:38:08
You're just being lazy. You're just being lazy. But sometimes, like, anatomy and physiology could have. I figured it out. Yeah.

00:38:15
With a lot of blood Sweat and tears and I could have. But it wasn't supposed to be my path. Right. So I need, like, thank God. But those are the things that we, as parents, we as teachers, we need to hear if someone's saying, like, it's just too hard or it's too much, like, let's listen to some of those patterns, and then that.

00:38:34
That's where you can ask those questions. But I, again, didn't, you know, didn't think, like, oh, it's too much. I just thought I didn't want to put summer work in because he's right. He's working. I don't.

00:38:45
I don't still get the summertime. Yeah. I was like, oh, I don't. Yeah. I don't.

00:38:51
Stupid. I. I don't blame you. I don't want to do it either. I didn't know it's possible.

00:38:56
I wouldn't be doing that either. Yep. And he. A lot of times he waits to the last minute, and then the adrenaline gets him to get it done. But I always also just thought, like, that's how I do everything.

00:39:06
Like, anything that I need, like, that's really important. Like, school. That's how I always did it. So it's just little things that now I can look back on and be like, the speech impediment. That was one that really.

00:39:18
That's. I think, what I think feel like, started everything. Do you remember where we heard that? Did I. I think I brought that up to you, and I forget who told me or did you bring it up to me?

00:39:29
And I was like, oh, wait a second. I was like, montgomery did not have a speech impediment at all. This is what's so interesting, like, at all. He was so clear. Spoke, like, so early.

00:39:38
Like, people were like, that little person just, like, had a conversation with me. I was like, I know it's kind of freakish. He's. He's very young, and he can. Right.

00:39:45
Speak, like, so crazy. Truman spoke very early, but it. Like, I was the only one that really could understand him. Like, even my husband would be like, Hahn would be like, what is that? And I would have to, like, whisper.

00:39:56
So we didn't make Truman feel bad, because I never wanted anyone to be like, what? I never wanted him to get frustrated. Yeah. Yeah. So I would, like, repeat it, you know, so he never realized.

00:40:04
And Hahn's like, how do you understand that? I could read Montgomery's handwriting. I can understand that as a mother. But those are kind of things that. That's.

00:40:13
That delay in speech, even Though. It's not. It just wasn't. And so there's things, like, as early, like, with Montgomery's dysgraphia, how he ate. Right.

00:40:20
If I knew, like, he did not pinch. He grasped. Truman didn't do that. He pinched. Oh, my.

00:40:26
Everything was, like, a handful. And he would choke. Like, oh, my God.

00:40:33
Oh, my God. My sister. We actually had the funniest thing. I never forget, because our kids were literally a week apart, and we were together. I think I did a trip when he was, like, six, seven months old.

00:40:45
I flew down to Charlotte, and she. We had the high chairs, and she was putting food, and she was putting, like, big, giant, like, pieces. And I was like, montgomery's gonna choke. She's like, no, he's not. She's like, oh, my God.

00:40:57
You're such a weenie. He's not gonna choke. And she watched him go like this and shove him in her mouth, and she's like, oh, my God. And I was like, I can't. Like, I can't buckle him in.

00:41:05
He chokes on everything. So I always have to. I'm always doing, like, that manure. It's really stressful. She's like, what are you talking about?

00:41:11
She's like, I knew you were saying this, but I didn't see. She's like, oh, my God. She's like, why is he eating that way? I mean. And again, we call them lead hands.

00:41:17
Right. All of these things that were kind of like, those silly things because he would always spill his milk are big signs of dysgraphia. Truman didn't have any of those. Right? He didn't have those.

00:41:29
That was Lila. Yeah, Right. Oh, yeah. Born in China shop. Yeah.

00:41:37
And that's what my. My parents used to say about me. I was a bowl in a China shop. So those are little things that we hope, like, you know, a grandparent, a parent, you know, has a kid and is like, oh, so interesting, because really, you're supposed to be. They're supposed to pick up food like this with their two fingers and the fine motor skills.

00:41:55
Yeah. I always talk about, you know, tying your shoes. Right. How many of us can tie our shoes? You know, it's that fine motor skills.

00:42:05
Yep. No, and. But that's also the craziest thing. Right. Because Montgomery taught himself to tie his shoes and then taught Truman.

00:42:13
Yeah. Bradley, who had the best pincher and ate, like, so beautifully, couldn't tie his shoes. So it's, like, so interesting how the brain works. And that's why, like, sometimes it's not just Black and white, right? It's not like, oh, okay.

00:42:28
And that's why it's asking questions, diving in a little bit more, hearing stories like ours and being like, you know what? It keeps coming up. I need to look for it. And then you got to go find the doctor. And that's, that's not easy.

00:42:41
And that took me. I called like, I can't even tell you how many I remember. I was like, oh, my God, I ran into another dead end. Another dead end. What the hell?

00:42:49
Well, you know, the dead end. Because you were. Look, you weren't looking for the school psychologist, right? Right, yeah. I was like, no, no, thank you.

00:42:59
No, thank you. No, that's the big difference. School psychologist basically does half the work. You know, intense, you know, to, you know, solicitors have some understanding what we're talking about. They almost do half.

00:43:15
Half the work, half the report than what, you know, a normal neurosurgery. Right? So it's. Most neuropsychs are 20 to, you know, say 25 pages, something like that. You know, you're only gonna get, you know, 10 to 14 have to work half the answers that you're looking for, and they don't break it down in the same way.

00:43:40
And it's. And we. That's one of the things that we're going to dive into a little bit more on it. But, you know, in. In back in the day, there was like, I.

00:43:50
There was not school psychologists that did the reports in my. You know, it was like schools only took it from a neuropsych. Now, you can have a neuropsychologist, but they have an educational specialist that comes into their office because they may be. That neuropsychologist is not an educational specialist. This is what I understand.

00:44:08
So they have to then have someone that's an educational specialist and a school psychologist has that educational. And it's not that they're like, oh, I'm going to try to mess you up on purpose. It's the training that they had. So it's like how they diagnose people in school when they do that. They do a lot of tests, but it's.

00:44:26
So they don't use those same words. It's just, it's. It's a whole different world and field. And. And they also, like, if there's mild things, they don't.

00:44:39
They won't use the word. It's just. There's a lot. There's a lot to it. There's a lot to it.

00:44:43
We're not going to dive into now because we just finished that 45 minutes. So any of the listeners that have listened and were, like, in the previous episodes, what the hell are they talking about? Where I was like, no, we're not talking about that. This is what it was, right? Because I didn't know.

00:45:01
I didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't know. You know, I had strong feelings. Hahn didn't. Like, he was like, I really don't think any of it.

00:45:09
But then he was like, oh, all right. That doesn't. You know, that makes sense. And so there was a lot. A lot to it.

00:45:15
Like, he wasn't. He didn't 100 agree. It was a lot of money. And then there was after, I think, like, the third. Maybe after the second, after the first one, she's like, yes, there's def.

00:45:24
There's highs and then there's lows. There's definitely something, you know, stuff here. Because of course, I asked like, a thousand questions after each. After each section. Like, what.

00:45:33
What did you see here? Like, I just need to know. Just give me a piece. Like, am I crazy? Or is like, whatever?

00:45:38
And she was awesome. And. And so then after the second one, there was a little bit like, you know, he's. His highs are really interesting. Yeah, there are some lows, but I don't know if it's a deficit.

00:45:48
It might be a weakness. And there are, like, a line there that's. That's hard. So, yeah, it wasn't easy. You know, it was a process.

00:45:58
But now you're on the other side of it.

00:46:03
And now he's got. He's equipped with the understanding, moving forward. Yep. Yes. And we'll see, you know, that's all you can ask for.

00:46:14
You know, exactly how that ends up, you know, playing out. You've got to, you know, now you have the information now he can, you know, level that playing field for the rest of his life. Yep. And we're gonna leave it on that, because that was a great last sentence. So thank you guys for joining.

00:46:36
Word blindness, Dyslexia, exposed for another episode. Therapy. Well, this was. This is a. An unloading.

00:46:44
You guys know what I say every time, like, rate, review and share. And we'll see you for another episode. Another episode next week. I don't know. I actually did pretty well speaking there.

00:46:55
And until I did. Until the end. Now I'm sorry. All right, bye.