S2E27: Fighting Invisibility - How We Overcome Systemic Barriers as Dyslexic Students

Do you want to discover the solution to improving understanding and support for children with dyslexia? Find out how you can achieve that result and make a positive impact on your child's life.

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Boost your child's self-esteem with dyslexia awareness and support.
• Discover the life-changing impact of early dyslexia diagnosis.
• Learn effective strategies for managing dyslexia challenges.
• Gain inspiration from personal dyslexia stories and triumphs.
• Explore the role of sports in overcoming dyslexia challenges.

Our special guest is Stephen Key.

Stephen Key is an accomplished inventor, author, and speaker, recognized for his significant contributions to the field of innovation. As the founder of InventRight, he has established himself as a leading figure in empowering aspiring inventors through his coaching program and extensive work featured in prominent publications such as Forbes and Entrepreneur magazine. Stephen's journey with dyslexia offers a unique perspective, showcasing his resilience and determination in overcoming challenges. Through his dedication to sharing personal experiences and valuable insights, Stephen has become a reliable source of inspiration and support for parents navigating the complexities of dyslexia. His impactful work continues to shape the discourse surrounding dyslexia, fostering a deeper understanding and providing practical guidance for individuals and families facing similar experiences.

Transcript:

00:00:05
Welcome back to word blindness. Dyslexia exposed. This is Juliet Hahn with my co host, Brent Sopo. Merrily, merrily merry life is by the dream. And what month is it, I'm asking you?

00:00:25
October. It is the awareness month. Yep. And so this episode, idiot picked it. I know, and you've heard us say this a million times, but keep saying it.

00:00:35
Breast cancer. Right? What was the one you told me today? Herpes. Oh, on awareness month.

00:00:41
October. No. Where the hell do you come up with that? There's a day, the 13th or 14th or something like that. So it's gonna be passed by the.

00:00:48
Time I know that. Yes. Because the work that I'm doing. You're such an asshole. The work that I do in my proper job.

00:00:57
We have some indications now dyslexics aren't proper. Okay, I see how this is going now. So we're going to set this up for Stephen Key. So sorry, Stephen. We're going to do a rerun, one of our favorite interviews.

00:01:12
Stephen is the most incredible human. Like, we both still keep in touch with him. He is awesome. In this episode, you're going to listen to Stephen first interview, basically talking about his dyslexia. He was on your next stop a number of years ago, and then we put the dots together, and I was like, oh, my gosh, he's an inventor.

00:01:33
Teddy Ruxpin. Like, an amazing. I was just gonna say, you know, anybody in our little timeframe and age will remember Teddy Ruxpin. He's the creator of Teddy Ruxpin. Exactly.

00:01:44
I mean, so cool. He is so cool. He was a part of it. World's a wonder he worked at that company. I think I used to suck my thumb in the corner with Teddy Ruxpin.

00:01:52
My arms.

00:01:55
I mean, Teddy Ruxman was cool. And then he had Michael Jordan back. The backboard. That first backboard that was like foam. Ball that goes in the back.

00:02:02
The back of the every. Every boy's bedroom. I don't know how many times I slam dunk that baby. Exactly. So enjoy this episode with Stephen Key for dyslexic Awareness month 2024.

00:02:16
Welcome, guys, to word blindness. And Brent, I mean, this is going to be fun. This is going to be fun, because, you know, I've been talking about Stephen since probably we've met. And, Stephen, I've talked to you about Brent's story. I mean, both of your stories are so inspiring.

00:02:30
But what we really talk about on this podcast is some of the hard stuff, as we said, not the negative, because I don't like that word. I'm the positive one. Brent is the realist.

00:02:43
Yes. I want to change that narrative a little bit. So Brent is the realist, and he really talks about things that are important. So, Brent, do you want to start? Do you want me to start, Brent?

00:02:54
Go ahead. You're on a roll. This is your ship. You brought us all together. Pull up both hands and lead us.

00:03:02
Okay, great. Well, so, Stephen, I'm going to give the little intro. I had the pleasure of meeting Stephen on one of my other podcast, and, I mean, we could have talked probably for days. So Stephen is the founder of invent. Right?

00:03:14
He is an inventor. And I became fascinating because I was like, wait, what do you do? What do you mean? This is so great, the creativeness. So my, you know, the listeners know that just takes me down.

00:03:24
Like, okay, well, how does your brain work? Where did that creativeness come from? So you can find Stephen everywhere. He is also an author, and one simple idea is one of his books, but he's also written for Forbes and Entrepreneur magazine. I think he's got, I mean, thousands of articles.

00:03:38
He also has tons of information on his YouTube channel, which is invent. Right. So the other thing is, Stephen is a giver. So he loves to really share, like, this is what he did, and he wants to help others do it without being like, okay, this is how much it's going to cost. But then he does have the coaching program, which you can dive even deeper into it, but he gives you so much information.

00:03:59
So LinkedIn, that's where Stephen lives the most. Stephen, key again. And he gives fun things, but he also. What I've loved as I followed you, Stephen, is you've gotten even more vulnerable as time has come on. And I know it's not the most comfortable.

00:04:14
Brent and I talk about it all the time. Sometimes that vulnerability, that place, is what's hard, but it's what people need to hear, because so many people have trauma. So many people. I mean, everyone does. Everyone has trauma to a different level.

00:04:28
And what we talk here, obviously, is about dyslexia. I mean, this is word blindness. Stephen, to give you a little background, word blindness is what dyslexia was referred to in the 18 hundreds. So it's been around that long. Yeah.

00:04:41
And don't get front star had the same face. I'm like, what, 19 hundreds? Thank you so much for inviting me, and thank you for that great introduction. So thank you so much. I mean, but, you know.

00:04:56
So, Brent, now you can ask the first question if you want, or we can just have, you know, Stephen start telling the story. Obviously, you have. You know, you've got a great history, great background, you know? But the one that. The one word that caught me that, you know, through that whole thing was giving.

00:05:14
You know, you're always giving. You know, it's. Yes, you've done some amazing things, you know, inventor and, you know, book writer. But the one word that caught me right there, and that whole thing is, it, you know, was giving. Now, why?

00:05:30
Now I'm gonna ask why. You know, why. Why? Are you a giver? You know?

00:05:35
Yeah, it took me a while to figure that out myself, actually. I think. I'm thankful that. I didn't think there was a place for me. Yes.

00:05:49
I. This so called learning disability that I have kind of created an individual that was just hiding. I was always hiding. I was a master at hiding, and I didn't think there was a place for me that this difficulty communicating or writing or reading, I was just different. I didn't think anybody would hire me.

00:06:19
I thought it was. I don't know, just kind of floating. So when I found something I was actually pretty good at, I was so thankful for it. I was thankful that it worked. And I just wanted to talk about it.

00:06:34
I guess I was so quiet for so many years that once you took the lid off that container, you can't shut me up now. So, yeah, I'm very thankful, and I don't think I can give enough. It's impossible. Yeah. I mean, I love that.

00:06:50
And again, because when you were on my other podcast, you know, you gave us a little history of when you were growing up. And one of the things that you said that I still think about is that someone said to you, and I think it was your father, or was one of your friends said, if you find something that you love, you'll be the richest man ever. Was that your dad? Yeah, that was. Yeah.

00:07:12
Well, my father gave me permission to jump off a cliff, which was really brave at the time. I didn't realize it. He didn't give me any tools to get down from the cliff, but he told me to jump, and he gave me permission to jump, and I did. And he. My father knew that if I found something I truly would love to do, I'd probably never work a day in my life.

00:07:37
And he was spot on with that. He was right where I think most parents would have said, no, you need to do that, because that's safe. My father didn't look at it that way. He didn't say very much. He was very quiet guy.

00:07:50
But he did, he gave me permission to try something that was really gutsy, interesting. And now I. To branch off that you just said he didn't give any tools to get down. Did he know? Did he even know what those tools would have been?

00:08:09
No. Yeah. No. And that's why I cannot blame anybody. It's funny, I talked recently.

00:08:19
In the last couple years, I've talked a little bit about growing up, and I didn't know I was someone at risk. I guess I was a child at risk. I didn't know that's what it was even called. But I was a child and my parents did the best job they could, but at the time, I don't think they knew what to do, really. It was just a timing.

00:08:44
But they gave me the ability to dream. They did do that. And they let me have the freedom to let my imagination run wild. That's one thing they did. They gave me that gift, how to use that gift, how to channel that gift into something that was productive.

00:09:03
Now, they had no clue, so I had to figure that out. And it took me a little while to figure that out, but they never told me what to do. They never tried to discourage me. They never said anything that, you know, they're not succeeding. Why don't you do something else?

00:09:20
They never said anything, those things to me. Yeah. So. But I do. Very, very powerful.

00:09:29
Right. You know, right there. I was surprised and I, and looking back, it wasn't perfect at all, but they did the best job they could. And at the time, no one really knew what to do with people that have the superpower. Now I know it's a superpower.

00:09:45
I didn't realize that at the time. It's like, what's wrong with me? Why is this so easy for everybody else? I just couldn't figure that out. In fact, I remember sitting in my car and 45, I think.

00:10:02
And I'm just frustrated. My kids are going through school and they're bright and they're brilliant, and I'm so happy. They didn't get anything. I actually got, and I went into this, this store for teachers where you could buy learning materials for classroom. And I bought three books, 1st, second and third grade books.

00:10:28
And I thought I was just going to sit in this car and I'm going to read that and I'm going to, I'm going to fix what's wrong with me. And I sat in that parking lot. I got all three. And I was so excited about it. I said, I'm going to change this.

00:10:45
I'm going to change this problem I have. And I sat there and I read it as much as I could. I ended up just eventually taking all three and throwing them in the garbage because it wasn't going to work. Yeah. So I've been fighting that difficulty a little bit about who I am for a long time.

00:11:04
Yeah. I mean, and I remember because, I mean, that was one of the things when we talked offline after the podcast, because, again, you are very, very successful. You've been and yourself made success, and that's where a lot of times we see that. Right? Oh, you had dyslexia.

00:11:22
Oh, but look what you've done. But we don't talk about the journey. And I mean, I have to say I've stuffed to the journey. Brent knows the realists have brought some of that out, been like, oh, damn it. Okay.

00:11:37
When school starts, my son is dyslexic, one of my children dysgraphic. And every year I forget the anxiety that I put upon myself that I don't even realize I'm doing. And I am a complete and utter mess. So emotional. And my family kind of knows about it, but I don't, I don't, I don't always, like, I know what's happening, but like, only maybe like, I have a good friend, my husband does, because he, you know, I will usually explode at some point in there and he's like, what's happening?

00:12:08
And then I will just kind of, like, become a puddle. And he's like, okay, I didn't realize this was happening. And it happens every year in September, and still, I'm going to be 50, and it's still one of those things that it's just like, oh, I just know what he's going through. Entering school, even though I was social, so I liked certain aspects of school. I was athletic, so I liked certain aspects of school.

00:12:31
But there's so much that I just stuffed because I was like, hmm, I don't like those feelings. And Brent is very open and we talk about, you know, that. And again, it's not the negative, the realist side of when you struggle, and it doesn't matter how personable you are, you do hide. I mean, I so many times would hide in the classroom, shrink and hide, and in certain social like things. And I think about it now and I'm like, I can't.

00:12:56
I was so social. But anytime things got a little bit where I was like, I don't know if I know about that, I would either go off and do something else or change the sub, you know, figure a way not to have to be asked questions. You know, like, hey, people asking math. Weird, random. What is.

00:13:13
How do we do this and this? And I'm getting out of here, right? I mean, and I know, Brent, you have, you have, you have a lot to add. No, it's funny. We're all talking the same language and in different terms, you know, it's, you know, you went up to that store.

00:13:30
I don't know how many times I went into that store with my kids. And yo, I'm looking at the racers or the scratchy sniff thing because this is all I get. Or, you know, there's that tv show. Are you smarter than a fifth grader? I'm like, no, absolutely not.

00:13:44
Are you kidding me? No. You know, and I use a lot of humor as a defense mechanism, you know, to get, you know, to get around it. But, you know, you sitting in that car, you know, brings back so many, you know, so many memories. And people don't understand.

00:14:03
When you go to school for five years, ten years, twelve years, that's years of built up trauma. It's not. Not a one time thing. It. Jeeps keep going on.

00:14:14
You know, you referred to you, you're going to be 50, and it keeps coming back. Well, you just for me was twelve years of absolute misery for 8 hours a day. Now could I made a tv show. You're smart. In a first grader.

00:14:28
Absolutely not.

00:14:32
You know, it's. It's um. It's interesting that you. You mentioned that the hiding because you don't want to be exposed. Right.

00:14:42
And so you're looking at details. I still do. I check out everything. I get the places early. I check out the situation.

00:14:53
You know, I need to know where everything is, kind of. And so I'm always adjusting the situations because I'm so used to nothing. Wanting to be exposed. Kind of like I also didn't realize the impact it really has had on me, to tell you the truth. I just kind of wanted to forget about it a little bit.

00:15:18
Or bury it. Right? Or not. I wouldn't say definitely not acknowledge it that I have an issue. But it didn't stop me from raising my hand to do something that I probably wasn't capable of doing.

00:15:33
I didn't do that. I figured I. I figured out a way around all the obstacles and in the ones that I couldn't, I just avoided. It's got to get out of the room as fast as you can. Which is kind of.

00:15:49
I would even freak out if I was in a doctor's office, and I had to fill out a form, and I look at all of them like, whoa, wait a minute here. I have a cheat sheet on my phone. Now that I can look at all of it. Now I'm a little bit more relaxed. I can fill it out because I've got all the information.

00:16:10
I call it fear. I know. I. You know, I. Juliet.

00:16:13
I call it fear of the clipboard. You walk in the doctor's office, they hand you the clipboard. I just hand it right back. I'm out. See ya.

00:16:20
Night and night. I cannot tell you how many times that I was willing to do it. Probably did do that. Or say, why am I filling this out? I just filled it out last time I was here.

00:16:32
Yeah, I don't need to fill this out. I would find a. Every excuse not to fill it out.

00:16:38
And I was an asshole. Why am I doing this again? Just, you know, just purposely good coaster. So sometimes that they do it for me.

00:16:48
Yeah, I. You know, you have to look at another side to this. I guess it made me very determined to be okay. Like, kind of like, I know I'm okay. I know I'm smart, but something's not quite right, so I'm going to overdo it a little bit.

00:17:08
So what I would do, I would go overboard. If someone, you know, from. From sports to homework, whatever it was, I would just go overboard. Right. So homework would take me hours.

00:17:22
I would still memorize everything. I could possibly memorize the best I could. Or for sports when everybody went home. No, I worked harder than everybody else. It did teach me to work hard and overcome that problem, I think, a little bit, right?

00:17:37
So. And even today, I still have that work ethic. Right. And so I think it.

00:17:46
I wish I had knew a little bit more about this at a younger age. It would have made my life a lot easier. I did some dangerous things, too, because of it. Right. I got myself in dangerous situations, and I haven't talked about that yet.

00:18:00
That's probably coming next. That can be our part two. Well, you know, a few people know about some of the situations I got myself into, and they're like, when are you going to tell that story? Wow. You know, there's so much to unload.

00:18:18
Right. So I'm kind of hesitant about it, but I think. I do think people need to hear it, because I do think. I think there's a lot of people that are struggling. I do.

00:18:29
And never be hesitant around us, because we all have it, too. You know, they never, you know, it's. We're all. We're all walking in the same shoes, different sizes, different angles. You know, Juliet, your mind might be a little bit more pitched in the heels, but never.

00:18:49
You're not walking this path alone, because there's, you know, there's two other ones here, sitting right here, that have and resonating with every single word that you're saying. I mean, I have to say the reason why I'm smiling so much. And I know, Stephen, you're talking about stuff that hurts, but I'm smiling and looking at Brent because this is stuff that we talk about every week. This is stuff that we've talked about so many different times. And there's so many layer.

00:19:15
As you said, there's so many layers to it. And one of the things that you said that I found interesting, and I know Brent did, but because I'm very much like that. Like, I even in my adult life say yes to things. Cause I know I can figure it out. Like, Brent is not that.

00:19:28
He's like. Even though there is, I've had to pull out of him. I'm like, there are. It's just. It's a little different.

00:19:33
But I. Even when I was in the corporate world, I would go and interview for jobs that were completely out of my reach. But I was like, this is a challenge. I'm gonna get this job because I can interview like. Like no one's business.

00:19:43
I can get this job. And then I would get it, and I'd be like, oh, shit. I have no idea what I'm doing. And then I would have to find the person in the company that I was like, okay. And it was just like, the person in the classroom.

00:19:54
I needed to find that person in the classroom that I could go, what did the teacher just say? I did not. I don't understand. Can you take me through this? What am I supposed to be doing now?

00:20:01
And I was always really, really good at that. But that's one of my gifts that I do believe I was born with. I talk about, and I just had. I just had this conversation with my dad, who's the one that is dyslexic this past weekend, about, and Brent knows, because I've talked about this many times, is the innate confidence. Some of us are just born with innate confidence.

00:20:19
Like, I have my older sister's dyslexic. We have a completely different makeup. She did not have the innate confidence my mom would sometimes, like. Even to this day, she's like, sometimes I would be like, I don't understand. You shouldn't be this confident in this situation.

00:20:31
This is not a time for confidence. But I just would. But that is, I think, who I was born with. But yes, I had supportive parents, but I was that person that was just determined. Even though I shrunk a lot of times in the classroom, I shrunk in certain situations.

00:20:46
I was determined to prove it to myself because I'm not like I'm super, super competitive, but it's not like I'm competitive for the next person to be better than them. I don't care. I'm happy for you to what you're doing. I don't need to be better than you, but I want to prove to myself that I can do something. And I think that I was just born with that.

00:21:04
Jeff. Well, I was the youngest, and so there's a lot of layers here. My brother wasn't very kind to me, so I had to fight that fight along with fighting everybody in the school because of the teasing. So it was always a fight. Everything, every day was a fight.

00:21:25
And I guess I just got through it. But looking back, I was telling everybody I've been failing since the second grade. I'm pretty much comfortable with it. I wouldn't say it's my friend. Maybe it is.

00:21:44
Maybe it's a good friend of mind because we've been together for so long. I don't know what to do. You're best friends now, and I guess I'm not afraid to fail today, right? Because I've been so comfortable with that. Maybe I wasn't always so comfortable with it.

00:22:03
I am comfortable with it now because it doesn't scare me anymore. It doesn't frighten me anymore. It doesn't. I'll tell you one thing that's changed. When I was tested for dyslexia and when I actually saw the test results, right, everything changed.

00:22:24
Because now it was proof. It wasn't like I knew something was wrong. Something wasn't quite right. Now, here's the proof. And they told me that if I went back to school today, what?

00:22:38
How the situation would be different, you know, be completely different. That's when I finally realized, oh, shit, you know, this is really a big problem. And I was able to overcome it the best I could. You know, that's interesting, because people ask me that same question, you know, because I didn't find out till I was 32, you know? When you found out what changed?

00:23:03
I'm like, nothing. Well, I have. See, I actually have my report right here on my desk. Really? Why?

00:23:13
Is that on your desk?

00:23:18
Well, I wanted to read it again. I had it buried. I brought it out because I wanted to kind of look at it again, and it freed me, kind of like, okay, Stephen, it is what it is. I can't change it. I can accept it, and I can talk about it, because it is real.

00:23:37
It's not just what I'm thinking. No, it's a real deal. And. And I survived it. Right.

00:23:44
And I survived it in such a way that.

00:23:49
So, yeah, I'm proud, I guess. I'm proud. I guess if someone said, what are you the most proud? What's your biggest accomplishment, I think, is surviving this. I really thought about it, but I would say absolutely, 100% yes, I survived this, and I would hate for anybody else to have to go through it.

00:24:05
It's absolutely 100% life altering. Game changer. The worst thing could happen if you don't have help. Boy, you. You're in for a rough road here.

00:24:17
That's powerful. That is. That's very powerful right there. So, yeah, you know, it's a. You know, you did survive it.

00:24:28
We've all survived it. We're, you know, we're here today. You know, we're here in different, you know, different aspects. You know, the athletic side of me is what kept me alive. I was the only thing I was good at.

00:24:41
You know, you talked about working hard. I was always rated the slowest and ugliest in the league, you know, but I was, you know, work harder than anybody, you know, long hair, ugly, missing teeth, slow as hell. But, you know, I'd stay out there longer, and, you know, I didn't care. Stephen. I always said the pain of a broken bone, you know, I've got screws hanging out, you know, like, popping out of my elbow.

00:25:07
You know, I have screws here. The pain of the real world, for me was more painful than breaking a bone, you know. So one of the things that I'm kind of just, like, all of a sudden in my brain because, you know, I do this curious thing where then I like to ask questions. I am curious, George. But you know, what's interesting is that Stephen and I kind of.

00:25:31
We said the same thing. Like we would throw ourselves into anything. Now, you didn't really get a chance to throw yourself into anything, first of all, because you went into, like, I mean, you were gone from your house at 16 years old, right? School, canadian, different than us, first of all. Second of all, you didn't even like, it just was a different situation altogether.

00:25:51
But you didn't get a chance to throw yourself into things that you maybe weren't good at. Like, we didn't have a choice, I think, and. And I. And I'm just talking off the top of my head. So, like, you were in the league.

00:26:02
You were succeeding, but as you said, every day, you were like, didn't think that you made it. Like, you were always nervous that you were, you know, be thrown out into the real world. What were you gonna do? What were you gonna do? We kind of had to be thrown out.

00:26:14
Now, here's also the difference, you know, and these are stereotypes, but a man with dyslexia and, you know, and learning disabilities versus a woman with learning disabilities. An age thing. Right. Because generational, it kind of changes, as well. But, like.

00:26:28
Like, when you guys were talking about the doctors, like, I'm the one that took the kids to the. To all the doctors. I had to fill it out for three kids and myself, and it was like fucking torture. I'd be like, oh, but you know what I mean? Like, I would be like, oh, my God.

00:26:41
And half of the time, I knew I was misspelling it, but it was like, I had to get it done for the kids. So it was like, I just. I had to figure it out, right? So I think probably I was put in situations where it was like, I didn't have a choice. I either was going to drowned or I was going to make it where not that being in the league, because you had to work your ass off.

00:27:00
I mean, there's, what, like, it's less than 1% that get where you are. But then in real life, you didn't have those skills because you never had to kind of sharpen those skills because it was like, this is what you had to work on. But, like, you know, I would never be, obviously, a professional athlete. First of all, I'm a woman, and there's, you know, different man leagues and all that kind of thing. But I'm just curious on both of your thoughts as I just kind of threw up and.

00:27:26
And thought about that. Go ahead, Stephen. Well, I think the biggest fright was, how do I make a living? Right? How do I.

00:27:37
I married this amazing woman. She was everything I wasn't. She was smart and educated, and I had to kind of live in that world a little bit with these three kids. And how do I make a living when I cannot fill out a form? I mean, so what do I do?

00:27:56
So, I guess, looking back, that was probably the most pressure I probably put on myself. What do I do? So, yeah, I learned to hustle at a pretty early age. I started putting down all the things I did. I was selling door to door at 18, at 21, I started looking all the weird stuff I did, and it was all selling because that didn't require me to fill out anything.

00:28:27
So that's how I. I guess I did it. So I guess I had some tools. I think.

00:28:39
I think the sport angle, the sports is really interesting, too, because it saved me. Not to the. Not to the degree, say, Brent. No, I was very lucky that I had a choice. I could either go across the street and smoke cigarettes with those kids because that door opened very easy for me.

00:28:58
But I did the sports, but I loved the sports so much that I didn't go across the street. I couldn't do that. So I had to stay on that path. And I learned some really, some really great tools in life from sports. So it saved me a little bit, but I'm sure it saved you tremendously.

00:29:18
But. But then again, what do you do afterwards? That to me, would be very frightening. And that's, you know, a couple things you said there. I tell parents all the time, it's easier to go across the street and smoke cigarettes for us than it is not, you know.

00:29:37
You know, I I, you know, obviously I was lucky enough. I think it's. I'm less than 110 thousand in the world and I entered the world. World that, you know, 40, you guys entered it at 20. So, you know, you talk about door to door at 18 and, you know, you guys walk in and you had to do those things, you know, that's what I mean.

00:29:57
Yeah. My scars, obviously. There wasn't a day when I was played pro hockey for 18 years. I think average career is five. There wasn't a day, not one day ever I thought I made it.

00:30:10
I was looking over my shoulder always, who's coming? Who's coming to get my? Who's coming after me? You know, my highs were high when, I know confidence, you know, was. Could been one of the best players when I was down, you know?

00:30:26
You know, my roller coasters were high, you know, highs and lows. And my parents, you know, did the best job. They did a great job, you know, didn't know what it was back in Canada, you know, never heard the word. But now, let me tell you, it's. The real world is not an easy place.

00:30:43
Entering it at 40 with no job experience, no education and these wonderful learning disorders and, you know, it's. Am I able to do some things that most people look at me like? How do you see that? How do you do that? How do you function?

00:31:05
Absolutely. And I do the same thing to people every day. How are you able to do that? You know, what am I, almost 47? I'm like, you know, so is there pain every day?

00:31:18
Always will be. You know, I don't think my pain will ever go away because I've never been that. I haven't gotten to the point. Stephen, you said that you're, you know, I am okay, but I'm still in that scraping to make a life, make a living, survive, provide. At almost 50.

00:31:42
Well, you know what's really interesting, as you said, you're always looking over your shoulder. I don't know if that ever really goes away. And I always thought it was because of. I'm an entrepreneur. I don't get a paycheck.

00:31:59
So maybe that's why I'm always thinking, the wolf's at the door. Yeah. Okay. But I think there's something more than that because of what you just said. I think the wolf's at the door because of.

00:32:13
It's always been at the door. And I'm always not sure myself. To a certain degree, I am a little bit. I think I could overcome it. But still, there's always that doubt of, you know, I know what it's like to.

00:32:29
To not make it kind of a struggle. And I know that. So the wolf is at the door for me, too. Yeah. And I don't think it's any amount of success is ever going to take that away.

00:32:39
I just don't think that goes away. I. And I don't know if that's necessarily a bad thing. I kind of wish it wasn't there, but I don't think you do your best work when your back isn't really up against the wall a little bit. Kind of for me.

00:32:56
For me, anyway. If life is so easy and things are great, I don't do my best work this morning. Juliet, did you say that last week, too? I was like, yeah. I mean, because, Stephen, you know, since we've talked, I've just taken on a new job role.

00:33:13
I'm still doing my podcast, but I. The chief communications officer for this amazing company that's coming out, and I am now on calls with scientists and all these things that I. I mean, those classes I hated, even dyslexic, I was the science and the math is where I really struggled. And I have to a little bit. There's been days where I've had to remind myself, like, you were hired for a reason.

00:33:36
Stop. You're not hired to be the scientist. So, like, just stop. Like, listen and learn it and learn what you can learn and then bring what you bring. Because I know I have such strengths, but I know, I mean, you know, this job, we just hired a PR company, and I was like, listen, do not, please, I'm not hiring you.

00:33:54
If you send me pages of emails and I'm not responding back in pages of emails. If I need to get something done, I'm going to need to jump on a call or leave a voice note. And they were like, that's totally fine. You hired us. But I had to say that with every single pr company that we were in.

00:34:10
But the thing that's so amazing, and you'll love this, and we can talk more about this offline, is one of the co founders. She's dyslexic, severely. So she and I are like, we are so in sync. So we would start meetings, and that's what she would say. Like, she's like, we're dyslexic.

00:34:25
Do not do this. This is how we work. But we also have been through so much shit. We also played sports, so I've known her. We played lacrosse together.

00:34:33
But it is really interesting when you say that, because I am a confident person. As I said, innate confidence. I am confident, but there are times where I have to pause myself to be like, whoa, what's happening right now? I don't like this feeling. What's going on?

00:34:47
It's having a little lack of confidence in certain situations, because I know, okay, I mean, we were on a huge meeting, and they were like, hey, can you read the screen? And I read it wrong in front of a whole group of people, and they're like, oh, my God, did we misspell something? And I was like, nope. I was like, that's. I'm dyslexic.

00:35:05
I was like, I just gotta throw it out there. But I was literally sweating, you know, like, oh, I just read out loud. Like, there's things that I'm like, oh, my gosh, this is ridiculous. I am where I am. I'm finished school, but I still get that anxiety.

00:35:18
Glad you were able to tell them, though. Oh, I say it all the time now. I'm not comfortable with that yet. I know, because I've been in situations. I was asked to be on a board of directors, which I've never been on a board of directors.

00:35:35
This is a few years ago, and I'm reading all the rules, and I'm thinking, God, this is I'll never get this straight, right? And they might call on me to write on the board, and here you've got these high level guys, and I'm like, why am I here? And I'm like, why don't they call me up? What am I going to say, right? I'm going to be a fraud.

00:36:00
They're going to see me and go, what's wrong with you? But I haven't found the freedom to go, hey, look, you guys, that's not going to really work for me, right? There's another way I can communicate a little bit differently, but I haven't found a way to bridge that, that yet. So I'm still, like, hiding there a little bit, kind of doing that. So that's, that's remarkable that you can do that and say that, right?

00:36:24
And to say, that's not my learning. That's not the way I do it. And I think she's got confidence. Just ask her. She's going to tell you, you know, you know what, you know, how did you.

00:36:35
And I, you know, I'm amazed by it, you know, again, coming the realist, you know, I don't have, you know, I'll say it, but, you know, I've been let down so many times that I don't believe anybody else. I don't trust trust, you know, trust anybody. So I look up it up at, you know, Jillian with astound, ah, that she's, that confidence about, you know, with it, you know.

00:37:04
And I think, but it's because of, I know, because of all the stuff I've gone through. And I'm also like, you know what? I've, I was never again, this is, I think I was just born with this. I never really cared what someone thought of me. I was like that.

00:37:17
Like, if someone's talking bad about me, I'm like, I'm a very nice person. Like, they, and I'm not ego, so, like, I need to put that there. But I'm like, I'm very nice person. Why wouldn't they like me? I would never, like, I'm, I'm a good time.

00:37:29
I'm fine. I'm nice. I'm, you know, like, this is, there shouldn't be anything but, you know what I'm saying? So I never, I always thought it was someone else's problem. And again, it's not coming from an ego place.

00:37:42
It's coming from. I think it definitely comes from genes. I think my dad is similar to that. But I also think it was the way we were raised. I mean, I was one of five.

00:37:53
It was like we all knew what our gifts were and what we struggled at, and it was like, it's okay, right? And. But I think having a dada, I mean, Brent and I both have children that we're raising. And there's days, though, that I'm like, I just pray that he is going to be okay. And I innately know he is.

00:38:11
But some of the days, like the beginning of school and the things that I could feel in him that I know, okay, he's totally spinning. And how can I help him? Because I'm also his mom and he's a teenager and that I'm annoying. My teenagers actually don't like me, but most people do. It's hard looking back when my kids.

00:38:33
I have three kids, and looking back wondering, am I passing this along and waiting to see when this thing is going to happen? It didn't.

00:38:48
Now, if you have grandkids, I mean, you have to know that it quite possibly could, but I have a different perspective on it. I think now I can look at and go, wow, this is, you know, you're not different. You're unique. Like, if someone says it's not different, you're unique. Okay, I get that.

00:39:07
But you really have to help that person understand that. And I don't know if you can allow the system to help with that. No, you can't. Even. My wife was a teacher for 15 years and she still tries to teach me things.

00:39:26
I'm like, no, it doesn't work.

00:39:33
You better surround yourself with people that do understand it, that understand that you're going to need a lot of support and help and to overcome all those because your confidence is so wrapped up in your self image. And at that age, it could be just crushed. I was so getting back to the word giving because I think when people get to know me, they understand that now. They understand the difficulties and they understand what I had to go through. So I'm just so thankful.

00:40:11
Gee, you got to be kidding me. It worked out okay. It did. It worked out better than. But, boy, could have gone the other direction.

00:40:22
It did go it the other direction at times. And that's why, you know. You know, we. I talk about the. The bad side, you know, cause a bad side.

00:40:32
So. So everybody knows what it is. It's. It's. All of us been there.

00:40:38
It's. It's, you know, you talked about your wife being a teacher is this whole thing that is all about education. You know, everybody wants to. Why don't they change the school district. Why don't this school district do it this way?

00:40:53
That's a non. You're asking a non dyslex to change something they have no idea about. How about let's educate them about it first? You know? So, you know, I always say, let's educate first, then try and change.

00:41:05
Because we're trying to change before education. I'm not very smart, but I don't think that works. No. And that's. And that's Brent's.

00:41:13
I mean, that's his whole foundation. I mean, that's what. It's so important. And he. I mean, Brent is also a super giving person.

00:41:20
I mean, I think that's the thing that when we are in these situations and we've seen what we've overcome and what we've done, nothing is ever going to be easy. I mean, that's one of the things I always like, even when my son was young, I would say to him, nothing's ever going to be easy. So you just have to work hard. Like, you just have to let. Sometimes things have to slide off your back because you know what?

00:41:39
And you can't let what people say affect, do in certain ways because. Right. We've had teachers that have said things to us, kids that say things to us. But one of the things is the self esteem. And that's where Brent and his foundation, that's.

00:41:52
And the way he coaches, it's all about self esteem. If you can hold that. Like, I have nieces and nephews that are going through, you know, right now testing, and I just say to their parents, because it's a sibling of mine and his wife, and they are not dyslexic, and they're very, very educational. And I, like, I just get this pit because they're like, well, we're just doing more workbooks. We're just doing more workbooks.

00:42:11
And I'm like, like, oh, fuck the workbooks. I was like, oh, my God. Okay, okay, let's. But everyone has their different philosophy, right? And you have to do it.

00:42:20
But I just. Every time I just say to them, it's about her self esteem, that is the most important. You can maintain that self esteem. And I think that's where I was very fortunate, even though I shrunk in other places. I had a, you know, I had a good group of friends.

00:42:34
I played sports, and so I had my gifts, even though I had such, those weaknesses that, yes, I used to hide. I pretended like I didn't. Right. I, you know. No.

00:42:45
Yeah. You know, we were just talking about, I had a friend that would always be like, oh, I failed that test. And I'd be like, I failed, too. And she would get a 98 and I would get a 35, and I'd be like, you didn't fucking fail the test. I hate when you say that.

00:42:55
It used to drive me insane. She'd be like, wow, you really failed that test. And I'm like, yeah. I said I was going to fail it. Failing the test.

00:43:02
Didn't you understand? Yeah. I was like, because she didn't get 100 to her, but I was like, okay, you know what? We all have to take in those of things, right? I'm not like, to her, she did not do well, and I can't fault her for that.

00:43:14
And I didn't. Even though I was like, oh, my God, she's like, 35. I would die. And I'm like, yeah, thanks. I'm not pumped with the 35.

00:43:23
I'm like, yes, 35. Got a couple, right? I mean.

00:43:31
I must have cheated or found a way around it or had someone write papers for me. I'm looking back, that was my life, to find a way around every test, every obstacle, every, you know, being in that. That boardroom thinking, how do I get out of the situation if they call me? I mean, I've got a. I've got a strategy here, man.

00:43:54
And I think it was. That attitude was like a daily thing for me. It was. It was daily. Of your defense mechanisms, trying to get by.

00:44:07
I was just trying to survive to get by. So, yeah, so you're like, I didn't get the 35 because I learned to cheat. I. Yes, I wasn't very good at until I got older, and then I figured out how I could cheat to get weight, get my way through. So, yeah, I didn't have to cheat.

00:44:21
Teachers are just, you know, I write my name on the final hand in, I got like a 60 because, you know, you're the hockey player that's going. So I didn't have. I did see, I didn't even get those skills. Two sheets. I got the best defense mechanism in the world, but, you know, in the same breath, I've got, I probably get hurt more than you guys.

00:44:42
Like today, you know. You know, I've asked for some help with my golf event, and I've been let down, you know, so with not my ability to cheat, you know, I got defense mechanisms. But entering the real world so late that things hit me differently, harder. Like today, I'm like, you know, could I cry right now? I am.

00:45:05
By being let down by people that I would never let down. Right, because you're very, very loyal. Well, you know, I guess being let down for so often, you know, it's kind of weird to think that that's what I'm comfortable with. That's something that I wear every day. And I'm still in the game.

00:45:30
I'm in the rejection game now as a profession, you would think that I would have ran from that, right? I guess I'm so comfortable with it. It's like, okay, this is normal. Everybody tell me, no, it's okay. I'll get back up and do it again.

00:45:46
So I guess it's looking back over all of it, it's prepared me to do what I do today, right? To take the no's and take the rejections and. And not really let it affect me personally. I get irritated by it, trust me. To the point of, like, I'm going to show you, right?

00:46:06
I never thought it would all add up to make me probably pretty tough. And if you ask my wife if I was tough, she says, you're the softest man I've ever met.

00:46:21
Well, dyslexics also feel. We feel deeper. I mean, we feel we are empath. I mean, I am so empathetic. There's times where it, like, actually exhausts me.

00:46:31
And I know Brent can. He knows it the same way. And I know Stephen. You do? I mean, we are.

00:46:35
I know my son, even though he has, like, he. I've seen him get harder over the years and it. It hurts my heart because I know. But then I'm like, I guess it's, you know, yeah, there are those defense mechanisms, but, like, being empaths, when you feel so deeply for someone and you see them struggling and you just want to help so badly, but, you know, people have to go through their own life journeys. But that's why we're doing this podcast, share these kind of stories to talk about these things.

00:47:00
I've had so many teachers and people reach out from, you know, just of us doing this, people from high school that were like, oh, my gosh, we were in the same, you know, speddy class, which is terrible, but that's what we called it. I didn't realize that you were dyslexic. I knew that, you know, we weren't great in school and I'm like, I didn't realize you were dyslexic either. It's because we didn't talk about it then. We just knew we had this, like, understanding because I was a girl in the classes with most of the trouble making.

00:47:25
Right. There was not a lot of girls in those classes. I was very quiet, and I think people read that the wrong way. I think they thought I was just a plain jerk, but I don't think they realized I was just quiet, that I didn't want to say something incorrectly, and I didn't know how to contribute, and I thought I was maybe nothing capable of contributing. So I was just the quietest guy.

00:47:55
In fact, my wife, when she first met me, she goes, yeah, you're the silent guy in the back of the room. You were mysterious. Shit, I was just surviving. What do you mean mysterious? Oh, I love that.

00:48:07
She put a spin on that, though. Sexy, mysterious. Right. You know, so it's hilarious. Yeah, I kind of.

00:48:19
I was looking at writing some of the articles. I call them raw. You're right. To really deep. To share some stuff.

00:48:32
Pretty deep. And I made a list of all these things I want to talk about, I want to share, and they're really awful, actually, but I'm going to share them anyway. But I saw a picture of when I was in first grade when life was just amazing. Right? You didn't start that process of spelling and all that kind of stuff.

00:48:54
And I look at this picture and I'm in the class and it's the school picture. I'm just amazing. The world is just this incredible place as a little boy. And then I look at the picture when I'm in, like, third grade or second grade, and it's not the same guy. It's not the same kid.

00:49:13
It's like, what the. The world had just landed on someone's shoulders. And I didn't really see the visual until I looked at it. Then I thought, yeah, that's when everything changed. And I could see it on my face.

00:49:28
It's interesting said that because I remember grade three picking up a desk and throwing it at a kid, you know, so I was already, you know, to your point, you know, the world was on your shoulders. I was an angry kid by that. They held me after school because the kids were so, you know, they found a weakness. Kids have a tendency to want to do that, and they found one and they jumped on it. And so I was getting in trouble after school, so they figured, well, we'll just hold.

00:49:59
So they. I just. Everybody went home and I stayed, and then they let me go home. So, yeah, it starts. That anchor starts.

00:50:06
That anchor started then. Yeah. And I was. Became the class clown. I was the clown.

00:50:12
I wasn't like, I just became the silly one, the ditz, the, you know, the one that talked to her friends too much, wasn't allowed to sit near her friends, but really it was because I was asking my friends for help. Like I wasn't doing anything other than just, I don't know what I'm doing. What's the answer? Yeah, no, it's, you know, it's. It's amazing.

00:50:30
As we, you know, we've gone here through, you know, through this conversations, you know, how it's, you know, brought me back, and to a lot of it, you know, a lot of that pain, again, brought me back, a lot of my sadness opening up, you know, a lot of my wounds by just listening here, some of the things you guys are saying. Well, happy Tuesday. Well, someone, you know, another gentleman that did a TED talk that explained to me during this talk how really, how impactful this is to kids and their self esteem that most people that have learning disability become alcoholics, which I didn't know was so high, or end up in prison. Oh, geez.

00:51:23
I'm one of them. Yeah, it should. So, yeah, I feel very fortunate I was able to skate around that to a certain degree. Did I put myself in danger occasionally? Yeah, I did.

00:51:35
And, yes, I was someone at risk. I was a child at risk. And I never would consider that. I never even knew that people were aware of people like that. But, yes, I was in that group.

00:51:48
We give off. What you give off is what you attracted, and you give off pain. You track pain. You know, I've just passed seven years sober. I doing drugs and alcohol.

00:52:02
God, I loved it. I miss it every day because it takes away this pain that we're talking about right now. You know, if I could escape it every day, oh, I would. Well, it. I just didn't know that common thread was, it makes sense to me now, realizing there's a big hole.

00:52:22
There's a big hole there, and why would I have a hole in, you know, I started looking when I was getting in trouble. There was a big hole there, because why would someone be doing that at that age? It made no sense to me. When you look back and go, well, yeah, now I know why I was doing that, and. But why did I learn this at such an old age?

00:52:45
I wish I had discovered this years ago. Right? So, if anything, hopefully these type of talks can open the door for people to realize it doesn't have to be this way. Right? There could be change.

00:53:02
I wish I had known this such a long time ago. I don't know if I would have done anything differently or maybe a different perspective. But I'll tell you, holding all that in for so many years, well, I. Mean, no, and that's not healthy. And, I mean, one of the things that.

00:53:19
And Brent, I would love for you to talk about it, like, what Brent wants to do with his foundation, what he's doing because of the early detection, right? Like my, you know, my child, Brent's child, they were diagnosed early. Now, we knew we had learning disabilities in my family, right. I wasn't diagnosed until I was in college, but it was, you know, and so I have some of those scars. But again, it was like, talked about a little bit more because my older sister struggled.

00:53:43
Like, we struggled in school. So it was like a kind of a common thread. And my dad struggled. So it was like, okay, you got it from him, right? Kind of came from.

00:53:51
But what Brent is doing with the foundation about the early neuro psych is so important. Brent, do you just want to kind of, like, just talk a little bit about that? So Stephen can, you know, I know he's going to be so excited about. That, you know, obviously, you know, you know, a couple things is that self esteem, you know, everybody talks about, and you're reading and math. I don't give a shit if you don't, if you don't like yourself, if you're not enjoying what you're doing or who you are, you're not going to learn.

00:54:22
I don't care if you're five years old or you're 55 years old, you know, so first off is, you know, how are you as a person? You know, right now is a, you know, the big thread going, college, college, college football. College football, college football. Well, school, school, school is all they talk about. Well, that's not for everybody.

00:54:45
So now you've got the ones that didn't go to school who are like us, who are sitting in a home with no self esteem, because that's all you hear is word college, you know, foundation, you know, so that's. I don't care about reading. I don't care about writing. I care about the self esteem. Where are you today?

00:55:02
What are you at? You know, and that neuropsych portion is. Yes, you can give a ten question, you know, find out if it dyslexia or not. But 40% of us have ADHD, so why are we going to test for half the problem? How fair is that?

00:55:19
That's not fair. You know, it's. It's taking that narrow psyche and making more accessible so that you can have that and find out everything, you know, they'll test for every single thing, you know, is it Asperger's? Is it autism? ADHD?

00:55:37
What is it now? At least now you can go to the school and maybe grade two or grade three or grade four and know what that is. You know, the less scars that we can create for anybody, the better it is. Yes. You know, mine are massive because I didn't find out until I was 32.

00:55:54
You know, both of you have scars less than mine because you found it at an earlier age. We all want to find cancer at stage, not stage four. You know, that's, you know, that's the big thing for, you know, for the foundation is, is take a completely different approach. Everybody's like, you know, Ordinan, Gillingham and Wilson, I don't care because if you don't like who you are and if you're embarrassed to go into school every day, if you're this or you're told you're dumb and stupid and this, you're never. Doesn't matter, I can hand you whatever.

00:56:26
You're not going to learn. So let's get that self esteem up. What are you good at? What do you like doing? Where's that smile?

00:56:34
I need to see that smile on that face again. You know, it's in doing little, you know, when I talk to parents, it's just, you know, doing different analogies in different ways just to find out who they are and working with the parents because, you know, if it's the parent doesn't have it, they've got no idea and they never will. That teacher that they're the, you know, in whatever grade with, they don't have it, they've got no idea. So it's, you know, it's, you know, it's the education about it, around it, and the understanding of what this all is, you know, is why the foundation just taken a completely different approach. And then I've seen most of them.

00:57:14
Well, I tell you, if you can get it early and you could help that self esteem, which can come from a lot of, you know, when you really think about all the different things you could do to grow that, right. And have someone find something they're really good at, that's going to overcome a lot of problems, right? Because we're not good at everything. But if you find that one thing that we really feel we enjoy, we wake up, we're excited about it, put a smile on your face, you can overcome a lot of those stuff. That's.

00:57:45
I found that one thing with sports that helped me get over a tough area, I was good at that. I practiced it. I knew it. I learned a lot from it. Without that, oh, forget it.

00:57:57
It would have been a whole different story. But it's so. Yeah, I mean, and that's what's so true. And that's what, like, we talk about a lot, you know, when parents come and talk to us, like, well, I'm doing the after school tutoring. I'm throwing it down.

00:58:08
My kids throw, oh, they can't do their sport or they can't do the thing that they love. And I'm like, no, no, no, no. Don't do that. You need to find that thing. And that's why I remember throwing my kids into everything.

00:58:18
I was like, just try everything. Because a lot of times, finding. Finding the things that you don't like is way easier than finding the thing that you like. Right. And as you know, when we're talking about kids that are older, too, it's like, you're 18.

00:58:29
You shouldn't know what you want to do for the rest of your life. Like, that's. Don't put that pressure on yourself, especially if you've sucked at school and you hated it and podcast right there. Right? I mean.

00:58:38
Right. I know. I mean, we've talked about that. But that's the thing is, if any, you know, if anyone's listening to this and they can take a couple things from it, you know, we've shared a lot of different things. I know we're coming to the end here, but we shared a lot of different things.

00:58:49
We shared a lot of stuff about self esteem. We shared stuff about our own story stories, you know, you could feel and see our faces that we really, I mean, agreed with everything that each other said. And that's a common thread. A lot of times, Brent and I will talk about, you know, if you're talking to someone that doesn't understand, you could just see in their face. They will be like, I have no idea what you're talking about.

00:59:08
And that sometimes is very frustrating. You know, you have to then, like, let me try to explain this where they can understand. But when you have a common thread of struggling, you know, going through school a similar way, it is. It's an understanding, and that's what these stories are about. That's why we are doing this podcast, to get those stories out, to connect with more people and parents.

00:59:33
Yes. A parent that doesn't, you know, doesn't understand what it. What it is like for a child to have dyslexia. I mean, I've talked to so many moms or dads, but mainly moms, that it's their husband that, you know, is dyslexic. And they're like, I just don't understand why they can't do it.

00:59:48
And I'm like, like, please, please, please. If I can just do anything. Like, I know I was protected. Even though my mom didn't have it, she understood it. And so I was protected in the space.

00:59:59
She would fight for me. She was my advocate. And that's, you know, what I do. And I know Brent was the same for his daughter and still is. That is what I do for my son, still.

01:00:06
Like, he's like your mom. I got this. I can do it. And like, the first day of school, I'm getting text, okay. They haven't even looked at the IEP.

01:00:14
This is happening, this is happening, this is happening. And I'm like, I call and I'm like, hi, this is misses Hahn. Yeah. So this shit needs to stop right now. And I mean, and I, you know, I.

01:00:25
But he knows. And he just texts me, thanks, mom. But he's, you know. So you didn't go in that sweet sark that quick? No, I didn't.

01:00:33
No, I. No. I kind of went psycho right away. But they know me a little bit now. But those are the things you need to have those advocates, you need to have those people that understand.

01:00:44
And the more understanding that we can put out there by sharing stories, we're hoping to help more people. The foundation, what Brent is doing by spreading the word. But also, and I know he says he doesn't care about the reading and all of that. He does. What he's saying is it's about self esteem first, but that's where it's starting with that and then building.

01:01:03
It's the building blocks of what you do. You get that kid, like, okay, I'm confident in some things. I can be more relaxed when you are struggle, I mean, and I'm going to leave kind of with this, and then I'll let you guys finish this up. But I remember, and Brent is always fascinated by this, too. So we knew Montgomery was dysgraphic because his name is Montgomery.

01:01:21
I mean, sorry, you know, it's a long name. I know. And my mom had said, are you sure you want to name with all our learning disabilities? That. That's a tough name.

01:01:29
Do you even know how to spell that? I'm like, no, I have to say it in my head, but whatever. I'm going to figure it out. I love the name. Anyways, so he.

01:01:36
Motgo Mr. White. Yeah, it's hard. It's not an easy one. Yeah.

01:01:42
So he. But he memorized because we listen to a lot of books I talked to, surprise, surprise, all the time. So I, like, literally would talk. Be like, there's a tree tre. You know, like, I used to do these things with my kids.

01:01:54
So he had this vocabulary, and he loved to read signs. I mean, it was torture for a bit because I'd be like, I don't want to read that sign. But he was that kid that was curious and wanted to know these things. So by the time he was in second grade, he would memorize. He had memorized books.

01:02:06
We didn't know he was as dyslexic as he was, because he literally memorized chapter books. They're called the Magic Treehouse, because we would listen to them all the time. That's like, you know, at dinner time, we would put those on, and we would listen that the teachers like, no, he's not. He's definitely not dyslexic. But we knew that there was other things going on.

01:02:22
When he went to get his neuropsych, and they took, like, he would, like, a paragraph. He would. And it was. They would do the magic trios just to see. He would read it, and they would say.

01:02:32
He would ask what book it was from. Okay, I'm going to read this. And then they took those words and put them on a piece of paper separate. He had no decoding skills. He couldn't.

01:02:38
He literally memorized. So when he was in the younger grades, he would come home to me and say, mom, can you get this book? I'm reading it in small group instructions. So he would go to the teacher and this, like, it. The things that he did to prevent him being called out, like, kills me.

01:02:54
But then I'm like, he didn't know any different, right? Because he's young. He's just doing these things. He would go and ask the teacher. He would get into conversation, ask the teacher what book they were reading in small group instructions.

01:03:03
She would tell him. He would go and ask me to get it. I would read to him. He would memorize. I didn't know this was happening.

01:03:08
He would memorize. So then he would go to small group instruction, and he would read the book, but he would be memorizing. And he did that all the way up until second grade. And, like, that's exhausting. Even me just saying it.

01:03:18
But those are the defense mechanisms that we put up because, and I'm going to say this, and I'm going to say it fucking loud, it has nothing to do with IQ. We are some of the most brilliant people in the world. Even though Brent, I know, knocks himself because he was the athlete, the things that he is doing with the. In hockey and his foundation, he is brilliant. It's just maybe not like in science and math.

01:03:39
Same with me. I know what I do in communications and how I can read people and all these things. What you're doing in the event, you know, in the inventing space and what you did with your company and how you're helping. So many people kind of have to skip those steps because they're like, you know, can learn from what you have taught yourself is something that someone that struggles would never be able to do. So it has nothing to do with IQ.

01:04:03
I'm going to get off my soapbox. Well, I love that because, you know, a couple big takeaways here for me today has been, you're not alone. We got to talk about it. Love it. And I really like that Brent said about the self esteem.

01:04:21
I think without that, you're not going to teach someone. I mean, you can trust me, but after, after so many years. Is my spelling better? No.

01:04:35
Do I have lean on memorizing everything? Yes, I do. That's a mechanic. That's a coping mechanism, I guess. Do I worry about it?

01:04:47
No. Does it bother me? Yeah, it still bothers me, but I accept it. But I do think, number one, if you have a good foundation and you find something you are good at, it really takes the pressure off of everything else. Yep.

01:05:04
I think you hit that on the nail ahead and just trying to learn more and teach more. I had tutors every single day after school forever. It didn't help. Stop that. Stop.

01:05:17
That's craziness. Okay. And how many rocking chairs can I read? And I was like, okay, that doesn't work. Okay, so we gotta find something different here.

01:05:31
And I think you're right. Don't firsthand really understand it. How can you really help someone? Yeah, and I saw that with my wife. No, no.

01:05:43
You. You've got to find some remarkable people that really get it. Been there, done it, maybe have it. Because if not. No, you're not going to force someone to figure it out.

01:05:56
No. Or learn or change the way they're learning. No gonna happen. No. The other one is, you know, we talk about strengths, and I always tell you we gotta talk about our weaknesses to.

01:06:09
To be okay with it. Mm hmm. No. Okay. Young Johnny, great.

01:06:15
You know, he's great over there, you know, like in the hockey right now. All right. You're strong with your right leg. It's okay. Your left leg is not, you know, or vice versa.

01:06:23
It's. We focus on one of the all your. You're not good at this. Not good. This not good.

01:06:30
But guess what? What about I'm good at this. You. Know, so it's, yo, Rog has strengths. We all have weaknesses, and that's okay.

01:06:43
Well, I have a lot of weaknesses, but I have a lot of strengths. Yeah, I say that. All right. I do, too, but, you know, and do you have the ability to say back that. When, when was that time where you said, I got some strength?

01:06:55
A lot of strengths, too. Before me personally, I got a lot of weaknesses I would never come back with, but I got some. Yeah, strengths, too. You know, now you know, now I can. But you both, you both jumped to bay or say you got strengths and weaknesses.

01:07:13
So that's, you know, tells to who you are as individuals and where you are in life and with this whole process. And that's where we can get each and every person with this. If we can do that, the world's going to be a better place. Well, I know I don't. I know Brent, he's got his foundation in two weeks and he's got to be on the ice.

01:07:33
So I know you got to, you got to go some answer some calls. And Stephen, I know that you are also a busy man, and I just want to say thank you so much for joining word blindness. You guys, you know what to do, like rate, review and share. And what is so important is you might have listened to this and been like, oh, interesting. But you don't know who in your life.

01:07:50
I say this every time, so I know Brent laughs because I have it exactly down. But you don't know who in your life needs to hear this. You don't know who in your life has maybe a niece or nephew, cousin, someone in their family that they're like, wait a second, they're struggling because again, if you don't know about it, you can't make a change. And there's nothing wrong with knowing about it. As Stephen said, he felt better once he knew his diagnosis.

01:08:10
I know I did. I know. Brent says, you know, he was like, nothing changed, but he was also in a very interesting time in his life. That could be for a whole nother podcast, but it is, it is an important thing to get out there and make the changes, educating by talking and sharing stories is what connects us. So thank you again for joining.

01:08:29
Word blindness, dyslexia exposed.