S2E21: The Guilt Trip - Letting Go of Blame in Parenting

If you're feeling overwhelmed by guilt over missing the signs of your child's 4d's (Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, Dyscalculia and ADHD) then you are not alone! The constant self-blame and questioning of what you could have done differently can be paralyzing. It's time to break free from this cycle and find a supportive approach that empowers you to understand and navigate parenting challenges. Let's delve into how you can embrace a more understanding and positive mindset.

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Understand how managing ADHD and sugar cravings can positively impact your child's behavior and focus.
• Discover the significant impact of lifestyle on ADHD symptoms and how simple changes can make a big difference.
• Learn effective strategies for dyslexia diagnosis and management to support your child's learning and confidence.
• Overcome parental guilt in neurodiverse parenting by gaining a supportive approach and understanding.
• Uncover the benefits of understanding neurodiversity in children to foster a positive and empowering environment for your child.

Effective Dyslexia Diagnosis and Management
1. The episode touches on effective strategies for diagnosing and managing dyslexia in children.

2. We discuss the importance of early detection and intervention in supporting individuals with dyslexia.
3. The conversation emphasizes the need for personalized approaches to education to accommodate the diverse needs of individuals with dyslexia.

Transcription:

00:00:05
Welcome back to word blindness. Dyslexia exposed. I am Juliet Hahn, and I am here with my co host, Ben Sokol. I did that. Very weird.

00:00:14
Wow. I did that in that. Wow. I don't even know where to begin after that one. Somebody's in a mood.

00:00:21
So glad you hit record. Let's go. I am in a mood. I've been in a mood as everyone just listened to our Thursday. So this will probably go out in three weeks.

00:00:35
Yeah. Lots of. Lots of moods. Lots. Thank God I'm not in your house.

00:00:43
Poor husband. I knew you were going to say that. Yeah. No. And he's in the city.

00:00:48
He's been in the city for three days, so he hasn't really caught my mood, which is good for him. Yes. Even, like, yoga today, the dog walk. I'm just like. It is mercury in retrograde.

00:00:59
I'm going to say that. And there was a full moon. Yes, I did see that last night. Yes. And I'm off, like, my schedule completely, which is so annoying because it fucks everything up.

00:01:15
I'm eating more sugar, and it's those donuts I had. Yeah, I talked to Brent this morning. I was doing. He's like, I'm going to get donuts. Yeah, I had Krispy Kreme yesterday.

00:01:27
Yeah. So now that. Right now your body is craving that, you know, when I actually, Hahn sent me, this is not what we're talking about today on the podcast. But this is like a little attention deficit sidetrack, which is always fun. He sent me an instagram about ADHD and alcohol and why it is not good.

00:01:48
And it was literally like, everything. I mean, it's not good for anyone, period. But, you know, like, I. Yeah, right. It's amazing until it's not amazing.

00:01:59
And it was basically like, you know, adders don't have a turn off switch. We. It basically kicks into the dopamine. So then your body is always like, oh, I want it, I want it, I want it. And then it also disregulates your.

00:02:13
Your nervous system. So that's when your anxiety goes in full blown, and then it's this, like, cycle. And I started laughing as I was listening to that. I was like, oh, yeah. Except as we have talked about last year, I kind of was like, okay, I can't do this anymore.

00:02:26
Like, this is not serving me that my anxiety was out of control, you know, and I would have friends. Well, when you hit 50 and the hormones are all around, you have to only have one or two. And I was like, have you met me before, and they're like, I know you really don't have an off switch. Zero off switch. Anything from when I used to eat candy, I would have to eat the whole bag.

00:02:44
I mean, still friends talking about me, like, remember you would have, like, one popsicle. Everyone would have one popsicle, and you would eat the box. Like, I never could have one of anything. It would just be, yeah, every time. And so.

00:02:57
Yeah, so that was always the joke. It was never, you know, I don't have. No, I can't have one of anything. I can't have a nice glass of Chianti with dinner and just have one. It's like, oh, wait, bottle and a half.

00:03:07
I'm trying to be sophisticated now. Chianti. Yeah, but that's. Yeah, that's what we talk about is understanding yourself and knowing that the adhd, what that means. You always say you're my sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

00:03:22
Turn on that dopamine. I mean, you know, it's funny you reference sugar. You know, when I was playing, um, obviously, I was on a strict diet in the summertime. Chicken and rice. Chicken, rice.

00:03:34
And I've never felt better. Right. You know, chicken and rice. Some protein bars, some shakes and red bull. And then my sugar was.

00:03:42
Sometimes I'd have gum. Mm hmm. But the best I've ever felt. Energy. The whole, you know, the whole nine yards.

00:03:49
Yeah. So, um, obviously, they say. What do they say? Sugars, like cocaine. It triggers the same.

00:03:55
And I do love cocaine, so.

00:03:59
Hence the donuts this morning. Well, so I. But I. As I got older, because I was. I was that kid that would have sugar, and I never was.

00:04:09
Like, I would get spazzy, but I wasn't. I was always spazzy, like, right. It wasn't like the sugar made me extra spazzy, but I would eat. I mean, there was times where I would eat literally brown sugar out of the box. I did it last night.

00:04:26
Yeah. I love that. It's so good. So we lived. We lived, I don't know, four or 5 miles, you know, in the city.

00:04:33
We were in the city from Costco and under my bed. We were back in Costco. They used to sell the little boxes of candies at inconvenience stores, right? I'd have one swedish fish. I'd have, like, seven different candies under my bed.

00:04:49
Right. Just so you could get them whenever you want, or so no one else would have. Oh, yeah. So my room was downstairs, so it was across my bed, underneath, and lined up like I'm a goddamn convenience store in the bottom of my bed, I guess. Kid's been worse.

00:05:04
We could have been the drugs, but. Right, well, that's the thing. Yeah. Like, and swedish fish. Like, the sugarier the better.

00:05:11
I was on a chocolate, like, the kid. I wasn't the chocolate kid. Those pixie sticks. Or was just gonna say the fun dip. The fun dip.

00:05:18
Fund dip. The stick of the fun dip. That was my favorite. I would. Oh, my God.

00:05:24
Yes. So, like, oh, I mean. And then I could down a honey bear. You know, like, the honey. Yeah.

00:05:32
But, like, the ones that were in the bear. I literally. I've been caught so many times. My kids are like, what are you doing? Like, literally downing it.

00:05:38
Cause I'm like, I just need sugar. And I have now the last. I mean, since I cut alcohol. I really am really good with my sugar, except I have, like, a chocolate bar a day. So, like, Hahn will be like, you're good with your sugar.

00:05:51
You just ate, like, all the chocolate covered bananas. Like, $1. Because I can just have two, you know, so we have to have, like, five boxes, and then I'll go through two boxes. But it's natural sugar, and it doesn't screw me as much. But my body needs sugar, and I'll never forget, because this is always funny because I do this to my kids now where, like, Montgomery doesn't eat sugar at all.

00:06:11
He, like, knows at, like, 19 the things that he can't. You know, it's crazy to me. My daughter's a little bit more sugar, but has cut it, too, because they've done, like, competitions, because they're like, it's not that hard. Yeah. Which is so cool.

00:06:23
I'm like, you guys, this is so cool that you're doing it and kind of seeing, and they're like, it's not that much of a difference. But then when they went back this time, they were like, ugh. Like, I can feel the difference. But, like, my mom used to say to me, you need protein. When you crave sugar, you need protein.

00:06:38
Just eat some nuts. And I used to get so annoyed. I'd be like, I don't want a fucking nut. I don't want protein. I want sugar.

00:06:47
I. When I was pregnant, the doctor I remember was like, well, just have a little bit of orange juice. Like, you're eating too much sugar. You're gonna get diabetes. I mean, I.

00:06:54
You know, we talked about. I gained 65 pounds. I was like, 02:08 I think when I had my kids, I was a giant human. They called me Shrek in my office before I stopped. They were like, here comes shrek.

00:07:04
I was giant, but I ate, like, sleeves of Reese's peanut butter cups. Not like the two, like the ones that were six. Like, it was like my job. I mean, I ate so much sugar. I ate.

00:07:17
Would eat a lot of fruit, but it's all because of the dopamine. And so it is obviously Elizabeth irons on the same thing we were the other day, this weekend, went to stop, got gas, and walked in there getting our treat. And there was a sleeve for of six. It was a king. It's a cream king size.

00:07:40
Yeah. Six cups. And she's like, well, is this buy one, get one. Guy's like, no, they're $1 each. We fire right back to table, buy the whole stack, drop my own.

00:07:52
We get six cups crushed before we even get outside the gas station. Yeah, yeah. So, no, but it is. It is. There is something.

00:08:00
So it was a very interesting video because it was like. And this is where the awareness comes in, right. As a kid, I didn't know what it was doing. It didn't trigger me in any way. I didn't.

00:08:10
I wouldn't say that I had, like, the massive sugar crashes. Sugar crashes. But it definitely messes with your ADHD. I mean, there's. There's no doubt about it, but not the same that it does to someone else.

00:08:22
Like, it wasn't like it was so obvious I could eat so much sugar and go right to bed. It wasn't like it kept me up. It didn't bother me. Like, it. I love the taste of sugar.

00:08:31
Like, I love it and cutting it. I wouldn't say, like, when people are like, oh, my God, do you feel so much better?

00:08:42
Kind of now with my anxiety, I'm not craving it. I think with hot yoga, because that's what everyone's asking. I'm like, I'm drinking so much water. Not on purpose, but because I'm so fucking thirsty, because I sweat so much in hot yoga. That has really helped me with my sugar cravings.

00:08:56
And it's kind of crazy because I never really thought there was anything but I would keep the natural stuff, because if anything, that is a junk. It did start. Like, I would get a little bit more sluggish as I've gotten older with the hormones and stuff. But when I was little, I. You need to start putting some salts into your water.

00:09:12
Mm hmm. I use those LMT packets. Have you ever seen those thousand milligrams of, um, salt? But they have a. Like, they're.

00:09:22
They're sugary. So I like, it's. They're not added sugar. It's. I think it's a little stevia or there's something sweet.

00:09:27
There's, like, maybe one or 2 grams of cane sugar, which I'm, like, fine with. And so I love them. Like, love them, but the first time I had it, I didn't know that there was salt in it. And I had it in the little cup after the gym. It's a thousand milligrams of salt.

00:09:40
I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is awful. But now I love them, but so that I do that instead of. I mean, you can just use himalayan salt.

00:09:47
I, like. I have to. You know, there's, like, a chocolate one. It's so good. That's why, you know, because, you know, when you sweat, like, a lot like that, you know, that's why you eat popcorn.

00:09:57
Four games, right? Salt. Retain that water. Right? That's why, you know, iv bags in hospital are sodium, potassium, magnesium.

00:10:06
Cause that's what you need to. Cause that's what you're sweating out, right? Yeah. Yeah. So that's what those little packets do.

00:10:10
But again, right. I could put other things in it. I know that this is not what we're talking about on this episode. And it's ten minutes in, clearly. I want some sugar, and I'm not having it.

00:10:25
We're talking about guilt. Just gonna go right to it as parents, as humans. Guilt. Like, there's. There's guilt, but I'm gonna let you.

00:10:35
Preference. Since I just went on a little rampage, you're probably number one or number two thing as a statement. I get, you know, after we get one of the kids diagnosed, another family. Why didn't I catch it sooner? You know, I'm a bad mom, I'm a bad dad.

00:10:59
Why? I should have saw the signs or, now this all makes sense, to go back and I see this now. If we'd have just done this and we just.

00:11:10
Hindsight's 2020 for a reason, right?

00:11:15
You can't catch. And that's why we talk about this. You can't see something you don't understand.

00:11:24
So, yeah, we all. I fucked my kids up. Could I go? Could I go? Go back.

00:11:29
Every one of us could go back and say, shit, I wish they did this different. I should. I would. But we did the best with what we can. But it's.

00:11:38
It's understanding the guilt. It's understanding what that means, you know? Because if you go down that guilt train with your kid, kids are way too smart for their own fucking good. They know that you're beating yourself up, or they know how to take manipulate. Yo, my grandkids, she's a little Peter, a little fucker.

00:12:01
He knows exactly what he's doing. He knows how to get. Mom and Elizabeth are looking back on. No, no, but he knows exactly. He's off the.

00:12:13
Off the chart brilliant. Grandpa, you didn't use your turn signal. You're four. Like, what? You know, they're.

00:12:20
They're so smart. So that if you sit there and. And beat yourself up after a diagnosis, the kid knows it. And not saying they're gonna play off of it. Kids are always, you know, they're kid has anxiety.

00:12:38
It's just. It's gonna make it worse. It's gonna. One, it's gonna make you worse. And two, if he can, and this is sounds worse than the way I'm saying, if he can find a weakness in a parent to make himself better or get more things, they're gonna do it 100% of the time.

00:12:58
I know I did.

00:13:01
Am I right? Am I wrong? No, not at all. And we're talking about right now, like, the diagnosis with the kids in school or later in life a lot of times. And Brent's also referring to all the people that he's counseling and talking to on the side.

00:13:18
And the thing that's interesting is we also then have guilt of, like, why didn't the teacher do it? Then we have the anger, and there's all these different emotions, but it starts with that. Like, oh, my gosh, I can't believe I missed a that because of some of the signs. Like, we actually just did a post today about dyslexic kids early on that have a hard time rhyming, but you don't. Obviously, they're not diagnosed yet, but that is one of the signs.

00:13:47
Doing the Alphabet and skipping letters. That's an early sign. But here's what's crazy, is my son, Montgomery, didn't have any of those. My nephew did. And I remember we were like, oh, well, maybe he's not.

00:13:58
As you know, we knew he was dysgraphic because of his name and the things that he was doing that really showed, like, the pinchers and all these different things. Like, he ate like a fist, you know, like, choked because he put too much. I was like, just use your two fingers, dude. Like, my sister would be like, how is he eating? What's going on?

00:14:14
Now we know that was the dysgraphia we call him. Yeah, we used to call him lead hands because he would come in for a kiss, and it was like, you get punched in the head and, you know, in reference, that's not fine. Motor skills for that pinch. Can't do that pitch right. It's that.

00:14:30
Yeah, yeah. And so those are little signs that now we know. That's why we do this podcast. That's why we do so many things, because of things that you don't think about. So we just did a post about the rhyming.

00:14:41
Now, it doesn't also fit for everyone. So your kid might not be, you know, or your grandkid, someone that, you know might not be doing it, and you're like, oh, my God, they're dyslexic. Cause they're not. They're having a hard time rhyming. No, but this is where it's start asking questions.

00:14:54
Look for other signs. Look for other things. You don't need to go run in and be like, oh, my God, I got to do all these tests. I was just at a party last night, and we were talking about services in college. So one of my friends, her daughter's also dyslexic, and they just dropped her off.

00:15:10
And she was saying that she got tested by the school right before. And I was like, yeah, we didn't have to do it for Montgomery because of being in South Carolina. This girl went to school in New York, and my friend was like, oh, yeah, it was really easy. And this and that. I go, and another mom was like, oh, but so why wouldn't you, if the school did it?

00:15:28
I go, because when you get tested, it just brings up how much you suck at so many different things. And the one mom that doesn't have kids, she's like, oh, I never thought about that. So, like, if you're like, okay, I have little signs, don't go run out and be like, I need to do a whole full psych vowel on my child. Like, that's not what we're saying. We're just saying be a little bit of aware, like when they're two and three, if they're having a hard time doing those rhymings.

00:15:54
But again, Montgomery didn't. My mom, kindergarten teacher, I mean, all she did was rhyme. All I did, I think, is rhyme with him. So, like, it wasn't something that he. He just memorized it.

00:16:04
It wasn't like, what? I mean, like, so, you know, Jack and Jill went up the fucking hill. You know, all those things. I don't know why I had to say fucking Hill. Sorry.

00:16:13
Jack and Jill. Jack and Jill, up the hill catch a pair of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Joe went tumbling after. Yeah, all of those like little nursery rhymes. My one nephews are rhyme in there.

00:16:33
Jack and Jill went up the hill. Hill Jill. Yeah.

00:16:39
I believe. I believe that's why when I paid. What are they? I used to patty cake, baker's man bake, make a fest and put it for B. Roll it, Pat.

00:16:49
I put it in the oven. Me, I could never do it. I made my own songs. Because while that is like a big sign, right, when you were little, if anyone was doing it and you were like making your own things up, that would have been a red flag. So those are nursery rhymes, but they are matching and all these different things, right?

00:17:11
Yes. You had a lot of red flags that no one really paid attention to. But so then that parent, right, is feeling the guilt and some parents that are not talking about it are stuffing it and it's causing all of these different traumas we talked about. Because in my family, my immediate family. No, my sisters and brothers, whatever that's called.

00:17:35
So immediate and I don't know what it's called. I think my median is my children. So the family that I grew up in, my siblings.

00:17:45
I'm a little slow, Betty today. You sure you weren't drinking last night? Promise? I wasn't. I didn't even have sugar last night.

00:17:53
But what did you eat? I don't mean what did I eat. Well, actually, that's not true. I did have sugar. There's these churro chips that are.

00:18:01
This company called Sea. Yeah, but they're the healthy churro chips. I see you're. Did you guys just don't sit in your hug trees last night? We did not sit around and hug cheese.

00:18:12
I had sandwiches. I had things like that. No sugar. I didn't have any of this dessert, but I did have those. No, I am going to bed the last two weeks like 1130 midnight and I'm only getting like 6 hours and it's fucking my shit up.

00:18:27
I have to go to bed earlier. That's part of my mood, which is also annoying. Like what? I'm 90 now. I can't go to bed like late.

00:18:34
You can't. You're 90 now. It's so annoying. It's all annoying and then I get annoyed. But it's not all your sleep patterns.

00:18:43
You're not sleeping. You got your anxiety and your guilt of your kid. Right. So why did I talk about the thing last night? Now you got me on.

00:18:53
Really?

00:18:58
Okay, so I was telling you about something, and it was about guilt. Oh, my siblings. Oh, yes. So, yeah, thank you. Sorry, guys.

00:19:08
Um, my siblings. So my older sister, myself, diagnosed later, though, with dyslexia and all that kind of stuff. My younger siblings weren't diagnosed, but my sister Megan and I were talking about because her son's going to college, she was like, yeah, everyone acts like I was, like, the good student. She goes, I wasn't a good student. I struggled.

00:19:30
I just didn't struggle as much as you two. So I wasn't diagnosed. And I know my mom has some guilt around that. It's like, I'm really sorry. Like, I had.

00:19:38
How can I? You know, I did my best, which there's no, like, we don't. There's not argument about. Yeah, about it. 100%.

00:19:45
Like, so 100%. Go ahead. Best is what we all can do our best, and that's all we try and do. Nobody tries. I purposely did that, so.

00:19:52
Right. I'm purposely fucking you kids up. I mean, I know there's people out there that do that, but this is not. This is not the group that we're here right now. So Megan and I got into a really interesting conversation, and I said to her kind of what we were talking about, the podcast that just went out about my traumas and all of that stuff.

00:20:08
I said, you know, mega. You might be having some of that and not realizing it because you also went into school being like, no, you're the good student. And she's like, I mean, I wasn't even that good of a student. She's like, I don't, you know, she had to go get special services. She played field hockey, division one.

00:20:24
And she's like, I'll never forget going in. She played at Radford in Virginia. Yep. And so she was like, I remember having to go to, like, the class, like, where I needed help, and I was like, failing things. And it was like, okay.

00:20:39
She goes, but she didn't have any diagnosis, so she couldn't get any services, right. So her kids, all four have. Have a slight. Like, the oldest is dyslexic. I don't think anyone else is dyslexic.

00:20:52
Someone's dysgraphic. But we have talked about it where it's like, yeah, no one acknowledged that I was struggling. It was like, you just got to move through. Because I was terrible in school, and my older sister were terrible, terrible in school, so. And I was like, right.

00:21:08
That's all mom could really handle, right? I mean, it's like, oh, another one. Okay. You're you're. You're getting by.

00:21:13
And then, you know, it's funny you say that because, you know, as I talked to a mom the other day, yo, she was. She's like, I got five kids. Mmm. This is. This is why we wanted to talk about the guilt, right?

00:21:24
I've got five kids and everybody else's, you know, was, you know, quasi, you know, quasi fine, whatever. Determined, fine, and just couldn't, you know, couldn't figure out and couldn't handle him. And then he got diagnosed. And this is where obviously great for severe anxiety, you know, now he's going into grade eight. You know, how do you divide?

00:21:50
You diagnose somebody with severe anxiety in grade four and nothing else. Just didn't all sudden poof and show up. But no, no, there's reason. Fucking assholes. Um, but she's like, then she's got, you know, I talk about trying to medicate him, you know, for the ADHD portion that wasn't diagnosed.

00:22:09
Um, but then her husband said no. And he's, you know, he's not home. And they'll snowball, you know, snowballed, you know, and I'm. She didn't say, but I guarantee it had a heart rate riffe in the marriage. Well, because she's trying to do something he's going against her with not, you know, he's doing the best he can without having in the understanding.

00:22:30
And it's. Yo, obviously it's a lot for anybody and doing the best we can with what we have. But, you know, I think I did a post yesterday talking about getting the diagnosis. It's not a label, it's a roadmap. Roadmap.

00:22:47
Yeah. I love that, you know, but she's like, I should have known. I should have seen, you know, this is where a lot of this conversation came from. Shoulda, coulda, woulda, right? I should have kept those two houses I invested ten years ago.

00:23:00
Alright? Shoulda did that. You're right. Right. Is the glass half full or glass half empty?

00:23:06
You know, at least, yo, you didn't wait till me when I was 32. So he's going into grade eight. Better than going in college. Mm hmm. Better than never.

00:23:21
Better than me. Right. So it's. It's that guilt of, you know, flipping it the other way. Yeah.

00:23:28
I shouldn't have dated that person. I shouldn't have done. You're right. The. The negatives, the.

00:23:35
The hurts. The falls is where we learn who we are. And life is a fucking bitch. There's no. Just a pill of roses.

00:23:47
So, yeah, you know, it's. But it all comes back to as, you know, as you and your sister talking about is to have these conversations and talk about it. Yeah. The more knowledge you have around these things, the more you can have these conversations.

00:24:07
Logical is not the right word, but educated conversations. You know, it might not be, you know, as, you know, friends. Kid got dinos last year. He was going. He's in 8th grade with just dysgraphia.

00:24:22
People sit down and fire off, waiting 700 pages. I'm like, I never read seven words. Never seven. But so it comes out in different forms in different ways. And you talk about Montgomery could rhyme, obviously.

00:24:33
Clearly that I can't. So that's. That's the tough part about all this and the complexity. Is that a word, or did I just make it out? No, I think that.

00:24:45
I think that. I feel like that's a good word to this. But the more we talk about it and truthful, and the one portion I have, I think it's 100% of education in the world for dyslexic learning disorder created by non dyslexics, and 99% of the foundations that are created for dyslexia. Thinking around by non dyslexics. Yo.

00:25:10
So it's. They're telling us what? It's us that needs to continue these conversations openly, um, for the nons to understand us. Right now, they're trying to tell us how to feel. And this is why we do what we do.

00:25:27
This is why we come on here weekly and, um, we talk about it honestly. Some days are using others. You know, most of them all have been coming after me. But no, that's just the last couple. Just the last couple.

00:25:43
You forced me into this podcast. You stalked me. And because we wanted to talk about the four ds. That's the other thing was we want to start really talking about that, the four ds, because we have talked about the whole neurodiversity world and the words that are associated with that. And there's not a lot of understanding when you say you're neurodivergent.

00:26:02
So many different things, the four ds. Dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, and ADHD. If someone's like that, doesn't start with the d. I like that. Right?

00:26:13
And that is, as you said, that. And I love so many things that you just said, because it is that roadmap. The reason why Montgomery could memorize is because we know that his auditory is so strong. Right. He memorized all those books after listening to them.

00:26:28
Right. I was just thinking, you know, that might. You know, another reason why he was so good at rhyming is because, again, I always say he knew at such a young age that he was different, right? So he kept asking to do that. So he had that vocab at an early age because he was making you guys, you know, he was memorizing that.

00:26:50
So did he really know how? Tamra? No, no, totally. He just memorized it. And just like the alpha.

00:27:01
I mean, I think I said, I've talked about this before. I, you know, all the foreign languages that we had to take, you know, I failed every single one but French. I remembered the abcs, and I used to sing. Please go ahead, please. Oh, you ready?

00:27:15
Yeah, I'm ready. Okay. Ave se de achi, gica, element au pay, coup, air s, tay du beuve, X, grat and Zenith. Haha.

00:27:27
Why do you have the face on?

00:27:31
What the fuck? Who's this person on the other side there? Foreign language. I can't do the first language. You want me to do a second?

00:27:39
No, that's all I know. Right. The fact that I know the Alphabet, people would say, well, then it probably could be easy for you to learn. No, that's all. I just memorized it.

00:27:49
But I used to sing it to my kids when they were going to bed. I would sing the regular Alphabet and the american Alphabet and the french Alphabet. So sing that canadian Alphabet for us right now. It's the same as ours, except you say, how do you say your a's? I know you say your about.

00:28:09
Or whatever. You say, hey, hey. C, D, e f G H, I, J. Kstv, wxdev. Y and Z.

00:28:20
See your little show off.

00:28:25
I have the z for you. It's actually Zed. It's Zed. Well, that's what. And yeah, that's right.

00:28:30
That's what it is in French. Right? But here's again. So this is what's so interesting. So all my.

00:28:36
All my kids know the french Alphabet and they know the english Alphabet just because I sang it to them literally every night. Like, they would be like, mama, sing. And I would be like, I don't know, just sing the Alphabet. So I would sing the Alphabet. Hahn used to memorize songs and sing them songs, but I think too.

00:28:52
And then Elizabeth's like, oh, my God, the dying raccoon's at it again. Here goes the dying raccoon. I'm like, whatever, yeah, I don't have a very good voice, but it is. It is this really cool thing to think about the mind and that. Yes, at a very young age, the things that I was doing, we talk about the parental match.

00:29:13
I didn't know I was doing these things for him, but it was giving him these memorizing tools at a very early age. Now. It also gave him tools to be able to kind of not show us that he was dyslexic. So we didn't. He didn't get diagnosed until a little bit later, like, where, you know, it wasn't until third, I think, 3rd, 4th grade, which is not later, but in the scheme of things, he was diagnosed with dysgraphia earlier.

00:29:36
You know, then we were like, no, I think he's fine. He's not dyslexic. He can read. Well, we didn't realize that he was completely memorizing everything. Dyslexics don't read.

00:29:43
We memorize. Memorize. But you just said something that I touched upon. All the mind is the most powerful part of your body. And maybe when you come in for the golf event, we'll shoot that video.

00:29:57
I told. I think I sent you that video. Oh, yeah. You know, with that turning. Mm hmm.

00:30:03
You know, because that's all your mind. And you, obviously, as listeners, you know, we'll do a video, obviously, the golf event, September 16. So Juliet's coming down, you know, for. Maybe we'll shoot a video of. Of me doing that, of somebody doing that, and then we'll post it to prove how powerful the mind is.

00:30:23
And everything that you were just saying. No, it's a really interesting thing. And that brings us back, again to the guilt, because, again, the guilt's all coming from your own mind. It's coming from, like, what did I do? Was I too busy?

00:30:38
I wasn't paying attention to my kids? It doesn't matter when your child gets diagnosed or if you missed it for a really long time. And now they're adults, and they're like, wait, what the fuck? I'm dyslexic. Because their kid is dyslexic.

00:30:49
It is not your fault. It is not your fault. Many people missed it, not just yourself, right? So a lot of people missed it. And whatever you're doing, just be appreciative that you're where you are and that you were doing the best that you could then.

00:31:04
I mean, that's when. I remember when Montgomery got diagnosed, and then other people or people that I've worked with over the years, that that is the number one thing that they would say, oh, my God, did I? Was it too late. Are they fucked? And I'm like, like, no, no.

00:31:17
They could be fucked from the wrong piece of gum. Right. But, you know, my favorite gum was sandbox gum growing up. When I find gum, the sandbox, when I was a kid, I'm like, yes, some good crunches. When I eat it, it's so good.

00:31:33
Oh, my God. That's so, that's a sensory thing. Montgomery used to eat sand people on the beach, they would be like, why? What? He's eating sand.

00:31:40
I'm like, don't say anything because I'll eat more. Just let it be again. And you always, you always kind of give me a more. When you say I'm not retarded, what do you classify that? I liked big league chew because, or bubble hubba bubba because that was.

00:31:58
And I would eat the whole pack. So. So we're talking earlier. Yeah. You know, canadian candy is so different then.

00:32:05
You know, I just, I miss the, the good, the black licorice. Best candy in the world. Black licorice. But used to big sour soothers and liquor. Oh, just so you like this.

00:32:18
I didn't like, I don't like the sour stuff. My nephew liked the sour. We're back on candy. Yes. This is a very attention deficit episode.

00:32:26
So Adi, who's, I'm so sorry. You know, bring home some wine gums, some canadian candy. We'll, I'll send you an address. You know, in return, I'll send you some swag, you know, foundation swag, maybe some ketchup chips. There you go.

00:32:41
Now, now we're on track. I think you're hungry. I just crushed. So I, I walked over, I went to Walmart and they had twelve or 24 little glazed cinnamon rolls. That's not a doughnut.

00:33:01
You said it was a donut. Well, I crushed 24 of them before I got home. It's only mile and a half down the road.

00:33:10
Yeah. As I was talking to you about what we're going to talk about in the episode, I think we can actually leave it there. Like, we don't need to go continue on our attention deficit spree. But the message out of this is that sugar creates dopamine. No, the message out of this is do not beat yourself up whenever you have gotten your child help or if you've missed it, we're, well, we'll continue on this.

00:33:39
I'm not going to get too deep into it or what. No, about misdiagnosis because there could be one and not misdiagnosed. I might have missed something and someone, and we'll just leave it at that. But you can't beat yourself up. It's like you have what you're doing, you know, pat yourself on the back.

00:33:56
And I always tell Elizabeth, you know, I gotta get a dummy made that with a hand that can do this. I can't reach there. But every, every, everyone, every parent, it is not easy parenting. It's fucking hard. And they don't give you a manual when the kids are born.

00:34:13
Okay, here's. Here it is. Okay. You know, you're on chapter two. No.

00:34:16
So give yourself some slack. Give yourself some credits. Yo. Parenting is not easy. And then you mix in us two.

00:34:26
As you can tell, the squirrels ran by our window a few different times today. So we're a lot. We can be a lot. But when you understand us a little bit more, it makes a lot, a little less lot. It's very true.

00:34:42
Very true. We are a lot, I think, in the best way possible. But maybe not everyone else thinks that. When your husband's like, I think you need to take a walk, that means, oh, I'm a little much right now. Yeah, I.

00:34:54
Well, I'm very fortunate. I've married a very laid back, very even keeled, very practical human, which has worked very well for me because I can be even now. We can go down. Hold it, rabble. It's understanding again.

00:35:14
And I'll use this. I get this asked all the time. Hey, did any coaches help you with your dyslexia, with adhd? When I talk about not napping, I'm like, no. And to their credit, or, you know, not to them, is I wouldn't have known what it was to help that I need that help.

00:35:32
Right? It's taken this long. Obviously, you've changed my life, you know, you and elizabeth have changed my life, you know, saved my life. But is about to have these conversations because there's understanding now. I could come, you know, you know, you, Hahn, can have these conversations because you got understanding.

00:35:50
Understanding yourself. You don't have understanding of yourself. You doesn't matter who you marry. It's going to be a train wreck. Because it's not fair if you don't know yourself, how's your significant other supposed to know?

00:36:01
Yeah, totally. Yeah. No, it's a very interesting thing. So no guilt. That is the message of the day.

00:36:10
Oh, that's like Sesame street. We've talked about that a couple times. Wasn't there like a letter of the day? The message of the day? Oh, maybe we should do that for the rest of the word blindness.

00:36:19
We have we'll have a message of the day. What was the guy that came down? He had the ugly eyes. What was his name? Okay, so two episodes ago, we tried to do that and we never looked it up.

00:36:32
I don't remember. You're going to look it up right now. Okay, so as you look it up, I'm going to take us out of this very interesting episode today. Sugar, guilt and craziness. And it's one, one, one, say a wish.

00:36:49
Okay. As Brent finds the googly eye guy from Sesame street, I'm going to say thank you for joining another episode of word blindness. Dyslexia exposed. This is a definitely a very interesting episode, but there's a lot of messages in there through the kind of joking and silliness that we had. We will see you guys for another episode.

00:37:13
But like, rate, review and share because you never know who needs to. You don't know who needs. You don't know who needs some laughing, some, oh, gut check of, oh, wait, maybe I am a little normal because this episode, we're. Neither of us are not. Not us.

00:37:28
I'm saying someone listening to this might be like, oh, wow, okay, I'm not. I'm not as cuckoo because those two are cuckoo. Yeah. Yeah. So hopefully we gave you a little confidence that you're not as crazy as you think and don't have guilt and we're gonna leave it there.

00:37:44
Ding.