S2E19: Misdiagnosed and Misunderstood - Finding Answers in College

If you're feeling the weight of past traumas and longing to discover new parts of yourself, then you are not alone! Discovering hidden talents and evolving beyond your struggles is a journey worth exploring. Join us in embracing the brilliance within and finding understanding in our unique experiences. Let's learn and grow together!

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Understand how to cope with the emotional rollercoaster of your child going to college.
• Discover effective strategies for managing ADHD in college students.
• Learn how to navigate college successfully with dyslexia.
• Explore the tips for transitioning from being an athlete to a student.
• Gain insights into the benefits of medication for ADHD in college.

Coping with Child Going to College
Parents often experience intense emotions when sending their child to college, triggering memories of their own academic struggles. The podcast offers support and understanding for parents facing the transition of their children leaving for college. Through personal anecdotes and reflections, listeners are encouraged to navigate the emotional challenges of this significant life stage.

Transcript:

00:00:05
So now I'm hijacking word blindness today. Oh, yes. Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. As you can hear, it's not my beautiful co host's voice. Juliett Hahn.

00:00:18
Yes, I'm jumping in. Brent Sopel. These always seem to be about me. Now the roles are reversed. Juliet Hahn just got home from jumping off, dropping off her son at college, and she's got more emotions than that hurricane that just went through Florida.

00:00:41
So we're gonna have a little mic drop on that. Juliett, that text message you sent me this morning, you have so much to unload. I want you to unload it all because. And I jump in on this is because you're not the only mom, you're not the only wife. You're not the only woman that's going through this right now, as we speak anywhere in the world.

00:01:10
You're not going to be the last one. You're not the first one. But people need to hear what you're going through, because this is bringing back your traumas. You're reliving yourself through your son, and you're trying to keep it off him in the worst ways. But kids are way too smart.

00:01:35
Am I wrong? No. But I do want to say you have to start with the opening. This is our opening today, because this is. This is all.

00:01:45
So we're not saying welcome to. We're not saying welcome to word blindness. This is me hijacked. What are they? What are they?

00:01:53
I got instagram for takeover for a day or whatever they call, you know. Yeah. Okay. I love this. So I'm gonna say, and this is really important because I know he is going to be fine.

00:02:05
It has nothing to do with me being like, oh, my God, he's not gonna succeed and not be okay and figure things out. He always has. It is me missing him, like, missing his presence. But as you said, it is taking me back to all of my traumas in college and getting there. And I didn't realize how much.

00:02:29
I actually called my husband Hahn on the way to yoga, and I said, hey, I just want to give you a little insight and maybe this will help. And he was like, 000000. Okay. I said, okay. So basically what I said to him was, I woke up this morning with, like, almost couldn't breathe anxiety.

00:02:52
And I was like, what the fuck? And I was like, oh, it's first day of class from Montgomery. And I kind of chuckled to myself, but not really. But not really because I couldn't breathe. I literally couldn't breathe.

00:03:06
And I was like, God, what is this? This is like crazy. I know he's gonna be fine. And it's not that, because I know there's parents that are going through it that are like, you know, maybe a little bit more on the helicopter mom side. And not saying that I don't, you know, I haven't done that in the past.

00:03:25
You know, I do. Because of Montgomery's dyslexia, we have gone through a lot of stuff where I'm like, you know what, let me just help you with that. It's easier and I can show you instead of you stressing. He has figured so much stuff out on his own. Like I used to say, when he was little, I could drop him off in New York City and he would come back with three friends and figure it out.

00:03:41
I could take him on the train. I mean, he used to take the school. I mean, he used to take the train to school when he was in 3rd, 4th, 5th grade by himself. Like, there's none of that. That.

00:03:51
I'm not worried he's not going to be able to navigate. Go ahead, I know you had. No, I was just going to add on that, Lila, my dyslexic one. I could drop her at the airport, Ohio airport in Chicago, five years old, and I drive away and I wouldn't for 1 second think she would make the fight. Other kids, I really had to walk them hand to hand till they're 18 to the gate.

00:04:08
So they're brilliant in their own way. I just wanted to add that to your story, Zachary. No, I love that. Because it's, it's. They do figure it out.

00:04:17
So there's none of that. And I need to make that very clear. There's not that. I'm like, oh my God, he's not gonna. He's gonna fail.

00:04:23
He's not gonna do it. He's gonna fail a billion percent. He's gonna fail. He's gonna fail multiple, multiple times. I've been there, we've been there.

00:04:29
We all do. Doesn't matter if you're dyslexic or not. So let's, let's make that a very clear point. We all fail and we need to learn more from our failures. So don't you know when this isn't a dyslexic thing or not, we all fail.

00:04:42
Exactly. And you learn in your failures, right. I mean, and we've talked about it, like, I don't. I'm never scared of failure because I know that there's something bigger and better on the other side that I just learned and so the bigger sometimes the failure, even though it hurts like hell, I'm like, what comes out of that? I know you're going to say this is bullshit.

00:04:58
This is not supposed to be about me. This is supposed to be of you. You're trying to roll this back on me, what you're doing, unicorn.

00:05:05
So I want to make that very clear. However, I did kind of deep dive as, like, today, and going through the last couple months, my. And I know we've done a chronological order with you, and so I know we've, the listeners, if you are a longtime listener, they've heard pieces of this. If you're new, you're gonna get kind of the chronic logical order. So I was not diagnosed with dyslexia until later, later in life and really until college and later, um, however that was, you know, and just a preference.

00:05:40
I was that freshman year of college. I can't remember. Okay, so, you know, but we are talking college. So listeners that do know, so we're past high school, you know, we always use a statistic. 80% of us never get diagnosed till after, you know, after high school.

00:05:54
So you're not, you know, obviously, you and I are both part of that statistic. Exactly. So. But there was understanding. We've talked about that.

00:06:00
I had understanding in my house because my dad and my sister also learned, like, us, even though there wasn't, like a label, it was like, okay, you guys are all a little. A little unique. Special. Yes. And now we even talk about.

00:06:14
My younger sister probably also is dyslexic and all the dysgraphic, but because she wasn't as worse off or as bad as my. My older sister and I were, she wasn't diagnosed. Really. Now I tell her, I'm like, I think you are. And she's like, 100% I am.

00:06:30
And, you know, she has kids that are. Anyways, so. And this. I'm going to go back for a second, but my. My younger sister also dropped her oldest off at University of Tennessee.

00:06:43
He's also dyslexic. And so we got to do this together. We got to. I spent the weekend with her. We got to send all the stuff, which was all amazing, but her and I.

00:06:52
Right. You know, as. As fucked up as that sounds, yeah. It is special to do it because that's why we do the podcast, because you're not alone. Right.

00:07:02
But to build a kind of walk in this journey together after what you guys gone through, you know, what you're living through, it's kind of special that you that you do have that you're having that together as much. Again, the pain is never what we want to be, but to have that pain and not alone, because what I say be misunderstood every single day is the hardest thing. At least you have somebody like her, obviously myself, who understands it all too familiar. Yeah. And you know what?

00:07:32
It's really interesting. I have not talked to her about this, but I'm going to because she also, there was a couple things that she said. She's like, oh, my God, she played field hockey at Radford, which is a division one. And I. She's like, I remember having to go and drop a class and do this and then go because I was failing something and I was like, wait, you were?

00:07:53
And so I have a feeling some of her stuff is also going back to that. But again, I knew that I was going back to some traumas, but I didn't until this morning. Really, like, the anxiety that I had waking up and being like, oh, God, he's going into class. And I remember so vividly, and I don't remember again, this was my freshman and sophomore year, so I'm going to go back. This is going to be kind of crowded chronological.

00:08:17
So I wasn't diagnosed until later, but my junior or senior year, I did get services in high school because I could not. I was getting recruited by a number of schools for lacrosse and field hockey, and they were all division one. And I couldn't get my sats up past a certain score. And back in the day, I'm not going to say the number because we were like, oh, wow, that's really low. Yeah, it is.

00:08:41
I had a. I was ten points off. One question away from going to a division one. Now, listen, it's my path. My path was, you know, what shaped me.

00:08:51
So there's never a time that I go back and I'm like, oh, my God, poor me. Woe is me. That's not me at all. But just put yourself in this situation. I came from a school that, like, we won states almost every year.

00:09:02
I think there was my senior year in La Crosse. We had a new coach. It was her first year. That was the only year we lost. We were like, like ten years consecutively.

00:09:10
Like state champions in New Jersey. I grew up in Morse town. M o o r e s t o w n, right outside of Philadelphia. And we were. I know, right?

00:09:21
Mississippi. M I s s. I know, right. Totally. So it was in south Jersey, outside of Philly.

00:09:28
We were a powerhouse. I mean, the girls sports, we won states. People moved to the town. It was a. It was a wealthy, very sweet Quaker town, but it was intense.

00:09:38
Now I look back, you know, places that I've lived with my kids. It was not intense, like, where I've been at some points, but it was a pretty intense town. And most of my friends that were my core friends, that were also my sports friends, they were all really strong in school. They were strong in school, strong in sports. And when it came to recruiting, I mean, I remember my sophomore year, Harvard sent me a letter for field hockey that they were interested in following me.

00:10:04
Right. And I remember saying to my mom, I need to throw this out. Like Harvard. Yeah. I was like, mom, I can't send them my grades.

00:10:12
Like, you know, I can't send them my grades. Like, and, you know, it was one of those things that was like, okay, now I know you can relate to this. Like, this is what. Where I got my good feels was on the sports field. I was the fastest girl in elementary school.

00:10:26
I was the fastest kid in elementary school. I used to beat all the boys. Like, I stood out. People knew that I was an athlete. I was always picked first for gym, you know, like, I really stood out in that.

00:10:37
In that segment, and I did not have to work at it. I probably could have been a lot better if I did work at it. I did not have to work at it. And so that is where I got a lot of my confidence because I was seen as, you know, oh, okay, the athlete. But again, then I was also the dumb athlete when school really got hard and it was shown.

00:10:57
So, yeah, 10th grade, I'll never forget getting it in the mail and opening it up and being like, I can never go here. Like, there's not even like it. Like, I'm like, that's so cool. Okay. Yeah, it is cool.

00:11:10
But, no, it's not cool because I can never go here. Right. So that was, like, very realistic, realizing, okay, I want to play in college because that's also. A lot of people in my town did. So it was like, okay, I want to do that because that is something that, like, shows you're worthy, you're playing at the next level.

00:11:28
Like, you know, again, it's where I got my confidence because I sucked at everything else. And I was like, what am I going to go right into the working world? What am I going to do? I'm going to go to college even though I hate it, but I'll play. And so that started it where it was like, okay, you're going to need some support.

00:11:45
So I did get tested. I don't really remember. I think it was through the school, and it was like, you have a reading, just, you know, you're reading, you have processing.

00:11:55
You know, it's very minimal to get, like, untimed sats now. So that was like. Then it was that the only service that you did get the untimed sats? And I'm going to say this because I'm allowed, but I also went into the sped room, the resource room, which I never was in it. I just was always in, like, the kind of the lower classes or just really.

00:12:15
I mean, I got. I had really low. What did that. What did that mean again? Because, you know, as this kind of conversation came up with somebody last week, among.

00:12:23
That means different things in different states and different. So what did that mean? Just for a full context? Yep. So in New Jersey, it was the resource room, which, like, had a special ed teacher.

00:12:35
His name was Mister Rita. He was a nice man, but he had very odd smell. I'm just gonna leave it at that. So I didn't love that class now. I mean, I've been connected with a bunch of kids from that class, and they're all like, wait, I didn't know you were dyslexic, too, but I guess that makes sense that you were in the class.

00:12:50
I didn't know a lot of them were in that, but again, they were a little bit more of either the troublemakers or the oddballs. They weren't a lot of athletes. I really was the only athlete that I can remember, and there was not a lot of girls that I can think of. I think there was girls that were younger that were in it, because now I know over the years, I've gotten people reach out and be like, oh, my God. And we've talked about this, where it was like, and we're gonna have actually, one of the kids that he's a police chief, I mean, a fire chief in Georgia.

00:13:25
He's gonna, come on. We've always kind of stayed connected. And he was like, oh, my God. I didn't realize. But now I guess it makes sense.

00:13:31
That's why we always kind of got along. And he was a great, great kid. Go ahead. No, as. I'm just listening.

00:13:38
How many as these conversations that you keep rehearsing, because you just said you've contacted a lot of people that were in that resource room. How many of them. Oh, I didn't know. You're dyslexic, too. How many of those conversations have we had?

00:13:53
Since the podcast has just come out, let me think.

00:14:01
I would say four or five. Just a lot. Yeah. And just in the last, you know, again, just in the last two years. But it was like, you know, we said, like, we always kind of, even though we ran in different crowds, I had someone reach out, and they were like, you were always so nice.

00:14:18
And I was like, well, I mean, I am nice. I mean, I was never like. I mean, I mean, I am. I can say a lot of things, but I was always nice to, like, I didn't, I wasn't like a mean girl or any of that. I always had respected myself, respected others, you know, empathy.

00:14:33
Yeah, totally. Empathy, right? I just said hi to people, whether they were whatever. But I also said to this kid, I was like, yeah, we had this under, this underlining, kind of silent understanding. You had to see me struggle, right?

00:14:47
Like, I hid it from, like. And there was. I had close friends that knew I struggled, but they didn't know how much I struggled because they weren't in my classes, but I wasn't allowed. I went to take out algebra two. Had to drop that because I was failing.

00:15:03
They wouldn't let me take chemistry because they were like, you can't take chemistry because you're basically a dumb in science because I was failing biology. And so it was like, okay, how are you going to get into college? My guiHahnce counselor constantly misses Shakespeare. I hope if you're still alive and you ever hear this, every time I went in there, she told me I was not going to college. That like, to get over it.

00:15:28
You're not going to college unless you try harder. She was really pretty awful to me. And we all know the story that my english teacher in 9th grade called me retarded when I had to read out loud because I said pubic instead of public. 9th grade, did you say? Yeah, it was 9th grade.

00:15:47
Oh, that's when you had yours. Yeah. Well, but that was the canadian version of 9th grade. You didn't say freshman year. Oh, yeah.

00:15:55
Just look at you. I'm converting you. So I got to. So I did go to go to the resource room, which I did not really like, you know, of course, because it was like, okay, now it's different. I didn't have services before, and I kind of could hide under the radar, and now I had.

00:16:17
Where? No, you have to go in and check in. You have to do your tests here. You have to leave. You have to do all these things, which were super uncomfortable.

00:16:24
Um, pretty sucky. Uh, that was my junior year, and I also had, like, my high school boyfriend was older than me and he had left. So, like, junior year just was like. And I had, like, my. Also, I had good friends that were my year, but I was hanging out with my.

00:16:41
A bunch of the older girls who my friend Rhys said that just had the dogs. Like, we're still in touch, but. So they all graduated. So it was also, like, I didn't have, you know, again, a group of friends that was there. I did have my 9th grade, 10th grade.

00:16:58
You know, my girls that I grew up with that were my. That I played sports with that were also still really close with me, but it was just like, this really awkward, uncomfortable feeling. And I do remember it was like, okay, people were getting recruited. I was getting recruited, but then I had to show my grades, and it was like, well, no, you have to get your grades up. I think you're probably going to have to go to junior college.

00:17:21
And my mom was like, you're not going to junior college because you'll never, like, you're never going to continue, right? Like, you go to junior, you're going to do two years, you're never going back in, even though that's what some roots were like. If you do two years, then we'll get you, you know, get you in the, you know, division one way. Because I could not get my sats up. And when I tell you I took them, I mean, it feels like 55 times, and I had to take them untimed.

00:17:45
I. The first time I took it is the best score I got. And I got that score a number of times. I never could get ten points more. Just needed one more question to be able to go to University of Maryland because that was, like, my number.

00:17:57
So if you got one more question right, you would get ten extra points because I obviously, I've never taken them. I was never allowed to take them. There was no option for. Brenton was dumb. Brent was dumb.

00:18:10
There was no college. Again, I was lucky enough back then for the hockey purposes, the route through college, Washington, probably maybe 5% ever made it. So it was really not even. I wasn't pushed on. Kind of like.

00:18:25
Kind of like it was. Yeah, thank goodness. So I never had to. So I know nothing about my kids act. Yes.

00:18:30
I'm like, I don't know what all means. So I just. For my clarification. Yeah, ten more points for one question. And that's what I remember back then.

00:18:38
Again, this could be like, someone might be like, you know, that's incorrect, but this is what I remember it was. I had to get one more point. And they were like, you get this many points for signing your name, right? So, like, you can't even get, like. So it was this joke.

00:18:50
It was a joke. Now, my dad went to, I think, a year and a half of junior college and then went into the marines. So my dad never got a degree. My mom's family, my grandfather was a career military. My grandmother was actually a nurse.

00:19:07
So all of their kids, all my aunts and uncles, like, higher education was really important. So in my house, it was like, it's what expected, but there was not a pressure. Like, I would never say that. Like, my mom was like, you have to do this. It was really me being like, this is what I want to do.

00:19:22
Because it was like, what you did in the town, right? You went to college. You got me. Like, this was kind of that route that people did now. My dad would always kind of say, like, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

00:19:33
And we've talked about this before. My dad's brother went to Harvard and Yale. Like, brilliant human. His sister had, like, five degrees I've never heard of before. Yeah.

00:19:45
I mean, like, and it got as long degree, like, so really high. Like, smart, smart people, right? So, like. And this is where we talk about the dyslexia part. Like, my dad never, like, he was always told he was dumb, but he had a mom that was like, yeah, but you do this, and he took over his family business.

00:20:02
That was real estate. I did not want to do that. I don't think he was. The family business was not around anymore when I was that age anyways. So it was just this really weird, uncomfortable kind of really shitty experience.

00:20:15
And even though I made the most of it, because I look back and I kind of. I kind of think of the substance. I didn't do any. I didn't play around with drugs or anything like that when I was in high school at all. I did drink, and I definitely drank too much.

00:20:29
But, you know, it was like, you partied and you played sports, and it was what you did in our town. I mean, it really was like. It was. It was a party town, so I took them. I will never forget.

00:20:41
I had one time had to do it, like, where it was reading to me. I had, like, giant headphones. And my really good friend Hahna, who I still in touch with, I love, she was in, like, all the AP classes. She comes walking in, and, like, their AP class was coming in to the class that I was taking, my SAT class like, I mean, my sats with, like, headphones on, looking like massive special ed. I mean, like, it was no, like.

00:21:07
And they were like, what the fuck are you doing? And I was like, I'm trying to get my SAT scores up. And they're like, well, you know. So then I also had to talk about it, you know, where it was, like. And so it was like, oh, oh, okay.

00:21:18
You really. You're really struggling. And again, I never got that, the ten points. So then it was, like, senior year and again, University of Maryland was the school that was really recruiting me for lacrosse. They were, like, one of the number one schools for lacrosse, still are really competitive.

00:21:38
And they were like, you could go to Essex. And there was one other school, Rowan University, that was in New Jersey, that my mom had gone to. And it was like, back in the day, it used to be called Glassboro State, and it was a teacher's college. It was the last place I wanted to go. I was like, I'm not going to new.

00:21:56
I'm not going to school in New Jersey. I'm not going. It was division three, which, again, back then, I wanted to go d one. Right? You want to go d one.

00:22:06
If you could play d one. I knew I could play d one, though. So it was, like, kind of underneath me, I felt. But I was like, okay. I did not get in until the week before I graduated high school, so everyone knew they were going.

00:22:22
I knew that I was not now going to get into Maryland because I couldn't get those scores up. And I remember opening the piece of paper every time did to get it. And my friend Lynn and her boyfriend Mike, I would open and be like, you guys just open it. Or my mom would open it, and it would be like, okay, I'll take it again. I'll take it again.

00:22:40
And then finally, it was like, I'm not taking it anymore. Like, I'm done. So the other thing about Rowan was, it was very local. So there was a lot of local high schools that went there, and we basically beat every high school that was around, obviously, because we won states. We also.

00:22:57
People didn't love our town. They thought we were rich bitches. They used to say, even though my mom was a single mom, a teacher, like, we were not rich bitches, but everyone used to have this. This, you know, the other schools did not like us, basically. And so going into Rowan, I knew I was basically going to.

00:23:14
My teammates were people that we beat and that hated us. So it was also like, great, okay, this is where I'm going, I think I shared with you my first two days in preseason, so I did go for field hockey and lacrosse, and I got in on an academic probation, so I was only allowed to play both. Did you play both sports? Mm hmm. Did you?

00:23:37
Yep. And I was only allowed to take four classes, so that was like, because I was on academic probation, going in process. Do you normally. Again, you know, this is. This is a dumbness.

00:23:48
Dumbness. I mean, I have no idea. Remember, you know, earlier, like, oh, you get this many credits. I don't know, 1 second of what that means. So, yeah.

00:23:57
How, you know, you could only take four classes, you said, yeah, so this is back again. This is back in the day. They were all. They were four. Four point credit hours.

00:24:06
So I was only allowed to take four credit hours. So I was going to go for five years. Like, it was already. If I had to take four, you couldn't graduate back then. What was a full four, you know, four credit hours?

00:24:18
16. So, like, you took five classes. So I had to. I also had to go and go to study hall right away. My coaches did not like Morristown, and they said that.

00:24:34
They're like, oh, look, we got a Morstown girl. Why couldn't you go anywhere? Because I was in the newspaper, like, what's wrong with you? It was like, basically, I had to eat dirt. And again, I was not a kid that was an arrogant, egotistical.

00:24:46
I was a good kid that just wanted to. This is what my good feels were right. And I'm just getting kicked and kicked and kicked. So it was. It was a really shit time, but I probably didn't let on that it was a shit time.

00:25:04
Definitely drank a lot in those days. I probably stuffed a lot of it, but my mom probably would say, no, you expressed it. I mean, I'm sure I had friends that would say, no, you expressed it. You were angry. You were sad.

00:25:16
But walking into that, you know, graduation was great. I did know now where I was going, but it was like everyone knew for, like, some new for a year, some new for, you know, I found out two weeks before. It was also, Henry Rowan gave $100 million to, and his family grew up in Morristown. Like, so it was like, oh, wait. There was just a lot of stuff behind it that just.

00:25:43
It was like, okay, oh, you're from Morstown. Oh, we're Henry. You know, so then it was like, oh, my God. Listen, my mom was a school teacher. There's five of us.

00:25:51
We were not. I'm not this wealthy uber person. Like, you know, we got. We got by. We did.

00:25:56
We did what we had to do. Um, so it just was a lot of kind of shit. And looking back on it now, because Montgomery going to school it now, he got in. He knew where he was going. A year.

00:26:08
He got recruited. His experience was completely different than mine. He had better grades. A lot better grades. He didn't have.

00:26:14
I did not even have him take the saTs. I was like, you're not taking those. I'm going to take advantage of. Like, he's like, all right. Don't you think I should?

00:26:20
I was like, nope. I'm not even, like, the trauma that I had to go with those. That sats and the anger that I have around the sats is pretty big. Is pretty big. Yeah.

00:26:34
So, yeah, no, no. I said to my kid, I was like, should you get sued, have tutors? I'm like, you know, I get. I get real. I get almost like a child.

00:26:42
I get really angry about it. But so going to Rowan, Henry Rowan gave that money. So then it was Rowan College. When I was there, I graduated from Rowan University. I went in as a corporate fitness major, and I did that because I was like, I'm not going for education.

00:27:00
A lot of people did still go for education. I was like, fuck that. Not doing that. And also, the education classes are not like people think going to education is. The education classes are not easy.

00:27:13
Like, you still have to take all your, like, those core shit that I hate it. So I thought, corporate. I'm really good with people. I can talk my way out of everything. I can figure things out.

00:27:23
And fitness, that's where I get all my. You know, that's where I got all my confidence. So it was like, can I do this? Like, I could see myself working in a corporation and being, like, their trainer. I was like, this is awesome.

00:27:35
I love this. I don't remember. And I. I want to say it was after first semester, but I'm not sure. But there was two things that also happened that we laugh about now.

00:27:45
Second day of preseason, my room, and I was not in my dorm because I was, if you remember, two weeks, like, they didn't have a dorm for me. So, like, everything was up. Like, everyone. I did find out my roommate, she was from. She was from Newark, New Jersey, which was a rough area, but I didn't care about that.

00:28:03
But she also was an upperclassman, which was weird. I was like, why are they giving me an upperclassmen? Like, that's just weird that I, like, aren't you supposed to be with freshmen, so, whatever. There was a lot of stuff that didn't also make sense, but I was like, okay, I'm in somewhere. I'm excited.

00:28:15
I'm gonna get to play. The second day, our sleeping, our room. I was with one of my. Actually used to. Was one of my suitemates, and then my apartment mates.

00:28:29
I was, you know, at her wedding. Stacy, all of a sudden, I'm, like, in her room sleeping, and some man breaks through the window, and I wake up staring at a man with, like, a gun in my room. Now, again, I grew up in a very kind of nut, this kind of area. And I scream, and I take my field hockey stick, and I, like, you know, like, scream at him, and he runs out. And I wake Stacy up, and I was like, there's just a man in here.

00:28:56
She's like, what are you talking about? But I had to, like, really wake her up. So that was two days in, okay? So that was like, you know, I remember calling my mom. She called her parents, her parents, like, oh, my God.

00:29:06
We're coming to get you. She's like, no. The coaches did not give a shit. They're like, you guys got to run. I was like, okay, that was scary.

00:29:11
But, like, okay, we didn't get hurt. We're good, right? Like, that's an adventure. Shit. There was a 711 in the town that was armed robber.

00:29:22
And the guy obviously didn't know that college kids were in the dorms, so he was going to hide. Like he wasn't going to kill anyone, thank God. So then I get moved into. Well, so then preseason literally walk on. And the girls were like, which one of you guys are from Morristown?

00:29:38
And I was like, oh, here we go. I was like, that's me. They're like, fucking scored on me, you bitch. Like, I mean, it was like. It was not good.

00:29:46
They were. The upperclassmen were not nice. And again, I was not used to, like, people not being. And I was like, this is so bizarre. The coaches weren't nice.

00:29:54
The one coach played against at Trenton State, her teammate was my lacrosse coached my senior year, and they hated each other. And this assistant coach told me every day how much I reminded of her, and I had to do push ups in the mud. She was, like, so mean to me. And it was like, okay, is this really what I want? This is really what I want.

00:30:19
Okay. So I did. I made friends with everyone. I got moved into my dorm. It was an upperclassmen dormouse.

00:30:28
And back then, there was dorms that were segregated and I was put in a non. I was not put in the correct dorm. Let's just say that my last name was Williams, and my roommate's brother was in prison and got out, and in the middle of the night, came before my roommate even came, knocked on my door and asked if he could stay. And, like, I actually was like, I'm not leaving. And I had to kind of, like, push the door and, like, be like, oh, my God, again, called my mom.

00:30:55
I was like, what do I do? And she's like, what is happening? I was like, mom, I don't. I don't know what's happening, but I'm fine. She's like, oh, my God.

00:31:02
Because again, I was like, I got that. I can do this, right. I can figure things out. I figured things out. But again, it was not a very smooth transition.

00:31:10
I had to take anatomy and physiology, and so I want to say it was. And I could look back at either was my. Bless you. My first semester, my freshman year, second, or my first semester, sophomore year. And I want to say maybe it was my first semester, sophomore year, but I could not do anatomy and physiology.

00:31:36
I mean, there. There was no. And at that same time, I tweaked my back in field hockey, and I was like. I mean, I, by the way, tried to drop out. My mom says, like, 35 times.

00:31:53
Like, I would call her every day and be like, I'm not fucking doing this. I'm not doing. I can't. This is so hard. And I have one vivid memory.

00:32:00
I don't really have the anatomy and physiology memory, but I do have the memory of going into. And I think it was probably my english class. It was one of the big, like, seminars, because Rowan was a big college. It was a medium college, but I wasn't in classes that had, like, 500 people and stuff like that, but I had one that had a lot. And I'm terrible with math, but it was, like, a full auditorium.

00:32:24
There was a lot of people, and all I could hear. And I was, like, sitting in the back, and the teacher was. I couldn't see him. And all I could hear was the clock ticking. Like, tick, tick, tick.

00:32:35
I could hear people knocking their pencils on the desk. I could hear people tapping their feet. I could not hear the professor at all. And I'm, like, supposed to be taking notes, and I was like, and then I'm counting red shirts, and I'll never forget. I literally counted all the red shirts.

00:32:52
And I was like, oh, I need to focus. What the fuck? Then I'm looking at the cute boys. And I'm like, all of a sudden, the class is over. And we had like.

00:32:59
They're like, okay, this was a really important one. I hope you guys all got the notes. And I was like, look down at my paper. I couldn't take notes. I can't spell anything.

00:33:06
I looked down, I was like, I don't even know what I wrote. What the fuck? And I just remember being like, how am I going to do this? How am I going to do this? And you know what?

00:33:18
It was sophomore year because we were in an apartment, so I think we were allowed to move off of. And I was watching tv, and there was this doctor, and he was talking about attention deficit. And I was like, oh, yeah, I have attention deficit. Fuck. Why hasn't anyone told me this?

00:33:35
I called my mom, and I was like, ma, I think I have ADHD. And she's like, 100%. You have ADHD? And I was like, yeah, I can't do this. I cannot do the school thing.

00:33:47
And so this was all I want to say right around the same time, it could have been, like, months apart. It could have been a year apart, whatever it was. But I went and I was put on meds, and I was diagnosed with, you know, with everything. And it was like, oh, my God. Okay, this all kind of makes sense.

00:34:06
But it was also like, now I'm just thrown back in with medicine. First one was Ritalin. Sorry. First one was Ritalin. And I could feel it go in my body.

00:34:18
I would become like a energizer bunny. And then I could feel it leave. And my roommates were like, what the fuck? It had to been my sophomore year because I knew them pretty well, but, like, you know, still just a year. And I.

00:34:31
And I was like, oh, my God, I hate this. I could feel it. They're like, yeah, total. Like, you're. It's.

00:34:37
You're like a fucking crazy person. So then we changed, and I went on Adderall, and I want to say this is the same time as I tweaked my back and was like, I need to change my major. Like, I need. I cannot do corporate fitness, so. And I don't know, and I have no idea why or how I remember, but I went into communications, radio, television and film.

00:34:58
And this is member I did was not creative, right? So I was like, I'm not doing. I'll figure something out. The communications part, I'm not going to do the radio, television, film when I can't do any of that stuff, right? Do you have do you have any comments?

00:35:12
Because I'm really going.

00:35:15
You're fucking so enjoying this talk. God, 35 minutes. I hope people, like, enjoy my voice.

00:35:24
I. The Adderall, I was like, oh, my God, I can focus. And obviously playing two sports and having a really hard time learning. Phil. Hockey and lacrosse the same time.

00:35:38
No. So field hockey was the fall and lacrosse is the spring. Okay. Yeah. So.

00:35:45
And we had. We had solid team. Like, we were really good. We were, like, one of the best d three programs. So sports catch you busy from basically the beginning of the school year to the end of the school year.

00:35:56
Yeah. But I partied a lot, and that's also when I, like, it was introduced to weed. And so I don't know how. I mean, I did any of this, so I figured it out, right? So I changed my major.

00:36:11
And I remember the Adderall after, I was like, oh, I can't feel anything. This is so different. But I could focus. This is so weird. And I remember sitting down and, like, being able to take notes and being like, oh, wow.

00:36:26
And then just becoming like, this weird sponge that I was like, I want to learn. I didn't realize I could learn school. I started like, my mom still is like, you know, she'll be like, I never met. She's like, I always knew you were 80. We didn't get you officially diagnosed, but you were like, I mean, I was a crazy spaz kid.

00:36:44
I could not sit still in class. So, like, everyone knew it. It just was like, my mom was not going to do meds back in the day. Like, you didn't know what these amphetamines did to kids. And my mom was like, well, right, totally, right.

00:36:57
So. And, like, we were definitely more of, like, a crunchy household. Like, we didn't take Advil, you know, you didn't. You didn't do that. You ate beans and rice.

00:37:03
Like, we weren't. But there was, like, a little bit of a granola side to my parents, so it was like, that wasn't even an option. That's where you get it from. Yeah, no, I definitely am way more. But, yes, my mom was, like, definitely more natural, so it was like, there was not going to be this, so for me to take meds.

00:37:22
And then it's actually crazy, because then my dad was then officially diagnosed with everything. My sister, then my brother was like, maybe. How many? Like, everyone in our neighborhood was like, well, maybe I'll meet him. This, like, domino effect of everyone being like, well, maybe I am.

00:37:38
It was kind of crazy, but let me jump in on that one is. It's not a label. Right. The roadmap to how your life is supposed to be driven down. Mm hmm.

00:37:50
Exactly. 100%. And now, again, a lot of my stuff with Montgomery is all of this uncomfortableness that I went through the first couple years of university and then also going into it, right, my sophomore. I mean, my junior and senior year, not being able to get those grades up. So, like, a lot of it is not, again, not me worrying about him not being able to succeed.

00:38:17
I know he'll be able to succeed. It's bringing the emotions back up of what I went through and not really piecing them together or really not talking about it, like, I'm doing right now, and kind of just not. And also people not understanding, like, me being like, oh, it's kind of bringing some stuff up, and they're like, he's gonna be fine. I'm like, it's not him. I just miss him.

00:38:38
And also, people think that's a little bit weird, which I think is weird that people think that's weird, but that's a whole nother story. So. Another story. Yeah. I really like my kid.

00:38:48
I like all my kids. I will miss every single one of them when they're not. Like, when I don't get to see them and talk to them anyways. So this was, like, a really. It was a very big, pivotal point in my life, because I always thought I was dumb.

00:39:03
I did not think I was creative. Now I'm going into radio, television, film. I'm a dj on the radio, and I'm like, oh, my God. I learned, like, that whole board. It was, like, crazy.

00:39:13
I never forget going in there and being like, what the hell? I'm not gonna be able to figure this out. And then I was like, oh, wait. I could figure it out. I could focus for the first time in my life, and it was pretty crazy.

00:39:26
I'm gonna go on a side note. I never put my kids on meds, even though I was successful in college, and I'm not on meds anymore. I stopped literally the day before I got pregnant with Montgomery, and I never went back. I use homeopathy, and there's no judgment if people use meds. I do not judge at all.

00:39:49
You just have to be educated and understand them and understand what they're doing to your body is really what I want to. As a footnote or whatever, as a side note, again, there's no judgment. I'm not against it. I never put my children on it, because I also had a journey with that. I had a lot of shame.

00:40:08
A lot of shame when it really. When I thought about it, that I needed medicine to be able to be smart, it was like this mind fuck of, like, I can't do it on my own, that I would kind of push away because I'd be like, okay, that's ridiculous. But again, I was like, these were like, new people that I was living with. You know, they were friends, but they just met me. I came in as this athlete.

00:40:32
They knew my story. All of a sudden, I'm starting to take meds. I remember I woke up one day and I could not stop crying. And I was like, something's happening. Could not slept for, like, three days.

00:40:46
Every time I would wake up, I would be like, oh, my God. Like, depression. Like, I've never in my life felt. And I finally. I think I.

00:40:54
I think my mom was going to come to get me or my dad or something, and they're like, what is going on? And they were like, maybe you should talk to the doctor. And so I called the doctor. We call. I don't even remember.

00:41:04
I think I went in and the doctor was like, oh, yes, you know what? I was a little concerned about this, of course. Didn't tell me about it, but he's like, so basically Adderall. And I'm going to explain it. The way I remember it could be completely wrong, but had, like, four salts.

00:41:19
Four salts that there was, like, attentive, like, inattentive, sort of, like, helped with, like, impulsivity. It helped with your attention, but there was one that helped with, like, depression and moods, and I was not depressive. There are, like, we've talked about. We've heard your story. We've also other people that also have depression that comes with their attention deficit.

00:41:44
Anxiety. I have anxiety, but I don't have the depressive part. And this triggered that because I didn't need it. So it was giving me meds that I didn't need. So it basically made me imbalanced.

00:41:55
Even though I could focus, I became depressed, and I never experienced it in my life. I'm in college by myself with friends that are kind of like, what is going on? Because I'm, like, now studying, and then all of a sudden I'm crying, and they're like, you know, you're taking meds. Can I have some of your meds? And I don't know.

00:42:10
You know, like, you know, it's just. Just this really weird, really weird time and navigating it kind of myself. Yes. My mom was huge. My.

00:42:21
Like, I had an uncle that lived by. I don't remember if he was apart. My dad. Yes, all of that. I was very fortunate, and I talked about it, but then I had to go, and I don't think I've talked about this, but I had to go on an antidepressant with the Adderall.

00:42:34
And I hated that it was, like, I was so embarrassed by it and hated that I had to pick it up. I hated that I had, like, two vials of meds that I had to take to basically function and, like, get through school. I was like, this is so not okay. But then I knew that I was, like, getting through school, and I had to, like, work that through. And I don't remember how I worked it through or what I did, but I, like, I kind of figured it out and just was like, okay, this is what it is.

00:43:05
And I did take meds for ten years, and that's like a whole nother story. But, you know, like, if I didn't take it in the morning, I used to take it a certain time. You couldn't have orange juice. Like, it's just, like, you had to explain shit. Like, and you try to hide taking your med.

00:43:20
Like, it's just weird. It just. I didn't love it. I didn't love it, and I didn't love that. That was, like, my.

00:43:27
Now, like, that's what I did, right? I did start becoming better in school. Like, it was crazy. I loved communications, rate of time. I mean, I wrote a movie script.

00:43:39
I, like, was a director. I starred in it, I produced. I learned all the stuff. I was on the radio. I was meeting really interesting, very eclectic, creative people.

00:43:50
Like, mind you, I was always with the athletes. So these were, like, smart, creative, just not the people that I ever really hung out with or really liked. And I shouldn't say, like, but just weren't, like, my vibe. And it was kind of, like, interesting. Like, I was like, this is interesting.

00:44:09
Like, I always dated the jock, right? And I was like, oh, I'm going to date, like, this. This radio nerd.

00:44:18
Is that what you're calling Hahn? No. Hahn. Hahn. Hahn was the athlete.

00:44:22
Hahn. I went back to the athletes. No, but there was a weird. There was a weird definitely time in college. I mean, I dated football players.

00:44:28
Like, but this was, like, a very weird time where it was like, who? Like, I remember bringing someone home and everyone was like, what the fuck is happening? I think, yeah, he was, like, tiny, too. He's like a tiny little person. Anyways, that's a whole nother story.

00:44:44
I don't even remember his name, which is terrible. I then. And this was really hard. I stopped playing sports. I stopped because I wanted to learn.

00:44:55
I wanted to go to class. I wanted to, like, go and study after class. I remember I didn't have to study. I could sit in class, and I was like, oh, my God. I totally understand what they're talking about.

00:45:09
I didn't need to study. And I would get an a. I got on the honor roll. It was this fucking mind fuckery of. And then I was like, is it the meds?

00:45:17
Like, is it, like, so I'm smart when I take medicine. Like, this is so weird. And it was what it was, right? It was what it was. But stopping playing sports.

00:45:31
I remember I actually. I stopped. I want to say I stopped field hockey first, and that was maybe after my sophomore year. And then I stopped playing lacrosse after my junior year. And again, I was there five years, so I stopped after my 10th grade, like, my second year, and then I stopped after my third year.

00:45:50
But I was there for five years, and my group of friends kind of changed a little bit. I still had my roommates that played, but I remember them. I will never forget. One time I was studying, I had books all around me, and four of the girls that were older than me, that were the ones that were mean to me. Like, when I first came in, that then I became friends with.

00:46:07
They came in, and they were like, okay, Stacey and Laurie are telling us, like, you're just sitting here studying, like, what the fuck is going on? And I had books all around me, and I was like, I have a test. And they were like, so you're not coming out? And I was like, no, because, again, I was, like, fun, right? I, like, partied, and I partied to, like, to, like, I was the last one.

00:46:25
I partied. I was the, you know, did the really dumb shit. Like, you could tell Juliettte to do anything, and I did it. Like, I would talk to anyone. I, you know, flashed my boot.

00:46:34
I was just crazy. I was crazy, but fun. Like, you know, so they were like, wait, but we want you to come out. And I was like, I appreciate that, but no, now I got glasses. I mean, I just became just literally.

00:46:48
And I remember that was one of the things that I was really scared about with the medicine. I was really, really scared that it was going to change who I was because I liked who I was. I liked who I was for the movie. I liked my personality. I liked my fun lovingness.

00:47:01
I liked it that I loved people. I liked that I could have a conversation with everyone. And it was this really weird, scary, like, is this going to change? Like, that fun side of me and I'm just going to become this, like, boring fucking nerd? Like, and I did not.

00:47:20
But there was an adjustment period where I was, like, it was, like, I just couldn't wait to, like, go back, like, talk to my professors and, like, debate and, like, it was so weird, Brent. It was, like, so weird. And I remember, like, my friends even, like, me coming home, everyone was like, what is happening? Because I wasn't all over the place. I wasn't like the spaz.

00:47:45
And so even my family, it was a little bit of an adjustment. But then again, as I said, as I kind of, like, worked through it over the years, the medicine adjusted more to me. But it just, I. When I decided to stop playing, I, like, stood in front of the team and I, like, basically, like, quit. And I hated saying, because I never quit anything.

00:48:05
Like, I was not one that quit. I never did that. But I stood and I wrote a letter and I explained to everyone, and I just remember crying, like, bawling my eyes out because it was almost. And I could start crying now. It was almost like I let go something that was so important, but that got me through life and gave me this confidence, and it was, like, not there any.

00:48:28
Like, I didn't need it anymore. And I was growing, but it was, like, scary. And I, like, I loved my. And I did not play. I didn't work out, like, for years after.

00:48:39
It was really, like, even after I moved to the city, I'll never forget, like, the first time I joined a gym and being like, can I do this? Because I. It was like, this. Like, it was a really weird feeling. It was a really, really weird feeling.

00:48:52
And then I, like, again, I got on the dean's list. I got picked to go to these conferences. And there was one class because, again, I was not going to do radio, television, film, because I was like, I am not going to LA. I'm moving to New York City. I'm not going to do the creative.

00:49:08
I didn't want to do that. I wanted to make money, and I wanted to be, like, in the business world. There was, like, a part of me that just always thought it would be, like, riding the subway and, like, having an office. Like, is something that I really was. Like, that's what I want to do.

00:49:25
And I knew I wanted to move to New York City. So I sat in this class. I'll never forget. And the professor stood in front and he said, there's always five people in this major that this turns out to be their favorite class. And it's the business side of.

00:49:44
Of radio, television communications. It's ad sales. And I remember being like, ad sales? What's this? And that class ended up turning every like, that's what I went into now, I sucked at math.

00:49:57
There's a lot of things that I probably should have thought through, but it was this. I fell in love with the feeling. I like the feeling of, like, yep, you, the agencies and your sales and all of these things that I was like, this is what I'm going to be good at. So that is the, like, the kind of concentration I went. So I kind of had to do some of the core again.

00:50:19
I wrote a television show, the pilot for it, which was really fun. And I sucked at writing. I can't spell and all of that. And I had so much fun coming up with these characters and doing all that. And it was just the side of me that I did never knew that existed, because I sucked at school so much all the time.

00:50:41
So going through this with Montgomery, I know what journey it is going to be, even though it's going to be different than mine. I know he has got so many more tools because he was diagnosed so much earlier. I mean, he has said to me three or four times, you know, I got this right. I mean, he's already, like, some of the things that he's already done, I, like, laugh in my head. I'm like, oh, my God, he's like, he is galaxies ahead of where I was when I went into college.

00:51:06
However, it brings up a lot of my shit, and it's 51 fucking minutes. I can't believe I was a good. That was a good therapy session. Thank you so much.

00:51:20
So, wow. Thank you for joining us on. We're buying this. Well, you know, it all comes down. Like you said, we always talk about why we do the podcast and what we do right now, right?

00:51:38
You just walk through your traumas, right? And that's what we live, you know, on a daily basis, you know, hearing you walk through some of them, and I'm sitting here listening to you and thinking about some of my journey. And it's quite interesting how you were able, how you. You evolved, right? How you figured yourself out, how you figured out your new major, how you fell in love with the artistic side of yourself that you didn't know was there, you know, um, pretty cool journey, because then I sit back and think going, I didn't have any of that.

00:52:21
Right? I didn't have any, you know, as you said, you thought, oh, I'm taking meds. That makes me smart. I got shame from that. There was natty, there was, you know, I didn't.

00:52:34
I didn't get diagnosed live 32. I didn't have any understanding of that.

00:52:42
I did drugs, I did alcohol to escape my feelings. You found your feelings. Hmm. That's pretty cool. That is cool.

00:52:54
You know, yo, I still. I still think about getting high. I still don't think about getting drunk. Is that something that, do I have the cravings to know, yo, I think, what do we. Next year, next year is or next year, next month, next month?

00:53:13
No, no, this month, next week is. Is eight years. So it's not. I don't have the cravings. Have the cravings to escape.

00:53:24
Hundred percent. Yeah. But it was very cool to hear you, you know, evolve. You know, you talk about quitting the sports as much as hard of as. It was pretty fucking cool because you found that other piece of you.

00:53:43
Oh, yeah, I love that. Yeah, I don't have that. I didn't have that. And that's why I always say, you know, again, this is, this. This story's about me, but, you know, not about me.

00:53:56
It's about when I talk about these stories, just like you just told your story. I've never had that. I never want a kid to feel that. I want the kid to feel what you just talked about. Find that other piece it didn't know existed in you is pretty cool.

00:54:15
Was very cool to listen to how you described it, how you described your journey. But you can see your face light up when you found that. Yeah, it was, it was. Why, it was definitely wild. But that's, you know, that's obviously brings back, you know, obviously an amazing person that you are.

00:54:37
But, yo, we all have this. All dyslexic, say. We talked about the beginning. We are so brilliant in our own way. We're so resourceful, you know, in our own way.

00:54:52
We're not dumb. We are brilliant. The brilliance comes in understanding. And that's why we talk about what we talk about, you know, every time we're on here. And that's why you heard us blab when we blob about certain things, because we're all brilliant when there's some understanding behind us and we can look at somebody and go, you know, we understand.

00:55:16
And it's just like, you know, we found a little Irishman at the end of the rainbow when we find somebody who understands. Yeah, well, and you know what's really interesting is what I'm doing with vet tech. Like, when, Hahn, you're a nerd. Let's just call it out there. Now, you are a full blown nerd.

00:55:42
I mean, you would think. But this is what's so crazy is that I have that science that I like, that I'm like, I was never, like, I was told I was not allowed to take chemistry. They're like, she cannot take chemistry. And then the anatomy and physiology. Right?

00:55:56
That was the science that I was like, I can't. I hate science. I'm so bad at it, even though I want it. Like, I love. I was the curious kid that loved science until I couldn't do it.

00:56:06
And the fact that now I'm in that field, like, I know. What are you looking for? I remember I found my report card. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

00:56:13
And that earlier, when you're speaking, I was trying to find it, but, you know, it. It talks about how. How you love that, right? And when you started talking about your grades, and that's what I was trying to find it. You know, we found my report card.

00:56:27
You know, I sent it to you. Chemistry 30, biology 25. And you both think you and Elizabeth so said, oh, I thought you'd have higher marks in Jim. It was like 70, 75. Right?

00:56:38
Because I had to write tests. Oh, geez, it's no fun. Because I had to write tests. So, you know, I was trying to find that, because I was going to speak to it, because you talked about the science side of things, how you weren't allowed to take that chemistry. I was.

00:56:54
I think my chemistry was, like, 25%, so that's why. But it's a beautiful thing how you found yourself and how you found that other side of you. And we have. We all have that in there. We have all that ability to find it.

00:57:10
You know, if you have some understanding about what you are and have that support through that journey, and that's what Montgomery has. Montgomery has that support. He's got more support than you ever had, than I ever had, both of us together. Your mom, you know, obviously, there was a ton of understanding. So is he gonna be fine?

00:57:29
Absolutely. Is he gonna. Is he gonna fall? And skin isn't? Absolutely.

00:57:32
Because every single one of us do. Anybody who says they live in desperate housewives, white. White picket fences are full of shit, you know? So let's. Let's.

00:57:40
You know, life is not easy, no matter if you're dyslexic, adhd, autistic, whatever. It is. Normal. Not normal. Whatever you want.

00:57:49
You know, as I like to say, retarded. Like I am. What? Life is not easy, but you're not alone through that journey. The more that you hide it, the more you stuff it, you know, more you join the stuff a thon, the worth it gets, you know, 52 minutes of unstuffing.

00:58:07
How do you feel? I feel good. I mean, I feel. I feel. I feel fine.

00:58:14
And I mean, I know it's. It's. Yeah. It's, you know, it's. It's the anticipation of all of the stuff that he is going to go through.

00:58:23
Like, even just talk. Talking about it is like where makes my heart just throw up because I'm like, don't. Don't. You know, you're right a hundred percent. But his journey's not going to be anywhere near.

00:58:36
Yeah. As worse as yours was. You know, he has understanding, he has resources. He has love, he has help. Those are things that we didn't have.

00:58:52
And I know. And yes. Where we loved. Yes. You know, I'm not saying.

00:58:57
Yeah, you're not.

00:59:01
He has that. And that's why I always talk about. About diagnosis, you know, that's gonna be t shirt. It's not a label, it's a roadmap. Yeah.

00:59:10
I love that. You know, so, you know, now, moving forward, this is not on you. This is not on Montgomery. This is on you to continue to talk about this and not know. You don't know what he's gonna go through because he has all those help.

00:59:28
He's got the resources, he's got the love, he's got the support. He's got the coach. He's got to understand, right? Those are things we never had, right? Those handful things.

00:59:35
So the what if game. Would you still love me if I was fat? No. Let's not play what if. Let's not play the what if, you know, he's gonna stumble.

00:59:47
Every kid does. But let's try and work on staying present because he's got so many more things in his back pocket that he can count on you, Hahn. You know, Penelope, you got Truman. He talks to you, right? He has.

01:00:04
Those are things you didn't have. He is that guy jumping through, you know, with a gun. Can you believe it? I mean, people are like, oh, my God. I was like, yeah.

01:00:13
It was like, right, so these are things that he doesn't have. So he's not gonna have that experience because he does. He's got these. You don't, you know, it's like five nothing. Right?

01:00:23
Who's winning the game right now? Right? Yeah, he is. So it's, this journey is now about you, not about him. Let his journey.

01:00:35
Let's learn. Let's. Let's. Let's unfold and unpack your traumas to clean out those closets so that his journey is his journey. It doesn't make his journey your journey.

01:00:49
Yeah, no, I love that. And I. It is, it is a very interesting, as I said, when I woke up this morning, I was like, oh, my God, I can't breathe. But one of the things I said to him was, listen, I know you're like, I mean, because I could tell the last two days, like, his, you know, there's a couple things that happened. And I was like, oh, his anxiety's up because the class is a start.

01:01:14
And, and I said to him, listen, I said, one thing that I want you to really think about is to go into class with an open mind. Not going into class being like, I hate fucking school. Try to do not to do that. I know it's so hard, but think, I'm going to go in with an open mind and see if there's one thing that I'm like, oh, that's interesting. And today that was the phone call.

01:01:38
And I'll call him afterwards. But he had sports psychology. And I said, listen, I said, it's right up here. Everything you've been with, all your injuries, everything that you have overcome at such a young age, like, you're going to actually find this pretty interesting. And don't think of it as school.

01:01:53
Thinking about it as like, as something that it's like you heard or whatever. And he's like, all right. He's like, I'll do that. And so his first class, I talked to him afterwards, and it was sports management. I said, that's maybe not going to be one that is going to.

01:02:05
You're going to find as interesting. There's going to be classes like English that you're going to be like, I hate it. And it's going to bring you back to, like, sucky school, right? There's all these things. But if you can go in with a tiny bit of an open mind and think, okay, that is interesting.

01:02:18
I said, because here's the thing. You're going in for a major, you might be like, okay, there's zero things that I find interesting. That means you might need to change your major or change something, you know? Because again, I also go in majors to take the easiest major to get out. And so it's like if you're going to be a doctor or a lawyer, yes.

01:02:35
You got to do that. But if you're not, and you really don't know, these kids are so young, they don't know what they want to do. Find something that is going to be of interest to study because you're still doing school. Right. So he totally got that and was like, okay, I hear you and that's school, yo.

01:02:50
And that's cool. You and I talked last night and I never thought of it till you said it. The first twelve years is school, right? Yeah. We're forced to take that shit.

01:03:03
Now. Maybe I refer to you on this one is instead of using the word school with them, use the word college, right. Let's separate the two, right? Because now, as you just said, you can pick things you like and you find interesting. And I never thought about the till you just said it is.

01:03:23
I always wanted to be a psychologist and interview serial killers. Right. You know, I was, you know, I never. Fascinated with the brain. Fascinated with the brain.

01:03:36
How did you go from one here? How did you go from here to here? You know, so using the word school. And again, I never thought about this till yesterday to you and mid sentence, you know, all dyslexic parents kind of grade twelve school. We don't give a fuck about the grades.

01:03:55
Let's just get us through, right? But let's not use the same word of school in college because it is a different journey. We can find things that we like. Right. We can focus on things that.

01:04:05
Let's, let's find things that we like, right? Yeah. So true. Again, you know, that was just me. My, my thought is, as I was hearing you speak yesterday, is okay.

01:04:17
Because soon as you hear the word school. Yeah. You're like. You start sweating. Right.

01:04:23
So let's not you again, again, this is just. You do whatever, you know, this is your, your son. You don't. But it just brings up as soon as that word is said, like walking in. I remember, um, um, Juliet's birthday, she's turning to.

01:04:39
And Elizabeth got, um. Is it her? No, Peter. Like a cooking set. And I had to go to a store, one of those, the school stores.

01:04:50
And I walked in there, like, fuck no, like just walking into there. So the less we bring up those words, you know, again, on my side of it, the less we bring up the word school for Montgomery and make it a different journey and not kind of bring it back to that journey. Might make it more of an easier, blossoming journey. No, I totally hear you and I love that. And I think we could go on and on, but since I took 58 minutes or 54 minutes and you get to close it out the way you do.

01:05:22
Yes. So thank you for listening to this therapy session on word blindness. Dyslexia exposed. You guys, you know what to do, like rate review and share because again, you don't know who's going through what any of us are going through. But the fact that I can be so present in this is, and I really, I was just saying to Hahn, like, because of doing the work that we, Brent, you and I have been doing for the last year and a half or whatever it is, is, it is making me more aware.

01:05:51
Even though I've always been okay with my traumas and be like, okay, I'm working through, I'm not. I never got deeper into it. So, like, all of these years of school and all the times I'm aware, oh, it's because school starting. But I never did the work in there. I just kind of acknowledged it and stuffed it.

01:06:07
Right. Not all the way down. Kind of just had it there. This I need to do a lot of work on because it's. I can't do this every, like, my other two going to college as well.

01:06:17
Like, I can't do this. And so I need to do some extra work on this. You don't know who and in your life with any kind of their traumas, anything, again, small, big, whatever you think, it doesn't matter when it's theirs. This one might be like, oh, that's not really that big of a deal, my stuff. But if you struggled or have been there, like, you can feel it.

01:06:36
And I know, like, Brent even was anxious as I was talking because it's like, oh, God, I don't like any of these feelings. And so this is why it's important to rate, review, and share this episode, you know, and thank you for Brent, for listening and being the psychologist today. We'll see you guys next week.