SEASON 2 EPISODE 18: Managing Emotions Through Life's Transitions - Strategies for Living in the Moment

Attention all dyslexia advocates and hockey fans! Discover the surprising and heartwarming story behind Brent Sopel's daring challenge to raise awareness for dyslexia. From hitting 10,000 to shaving his head, find out what Brent's next courageous move will be. Tune in to witness the unexpected twist that's about to unfold. Stay tuned for a truly inspiring journey that's breaking barriers and making a difference. You won't want to miss this!

In this episode, you will be able to:

• Embrace the change: Discover how to manage emotions during life transitions and support your child's journey to college departure.
• Seize the moment: Uncover effective strategies for living in the moment and making the most of the time before your child heads off to college.
• Overcome challenges: Explore ways to overcome the challenges of dyslexia and support your child through their college transition.
• Connect with ease: Learn effective communication strategies to strengthen relationships with your child as they prepare to leave for college.
• Make a difference: Explore ways to raise awareness for dyslexia through charity work and leave a positive impact before your child's college departure.

Transcript:

 

00:00:05
Welcome back to word blindness. Dyslexia exposed. I am Juliet Hahn here with my co host, Brent Sobel, who has a, I think a mouthful of a cinnamon roll. Yeah. Got hand delivered by the beautiful wife who's amazing breakfast, the champions.

00:00:21
I love it. God, I would be like, that would. I mean, okay, I love sugar, but I can't do it anymore. And we're not gonna. That.

00:00:29
This is not what we're talking about today. Let's preference that we don't need to talk about my hormones, where my emotions are. I'll just start. I'm a fucking wreck today is what maybe we should be really. Well, no, because we're going to talk about your emotions.

00:00:43
We're still talking about you. Awesome. That's a hell of an idea. Let's talk about the guy crying. Amazing.

00:00:50
Well, I mean, I think, as my kids say. Oh, you're crying again. I think I already did my share of it. And we are how many days? I think Montgomery said, and I am living day by day.

00:01:01
So this will probably go out after I send off my oldest to college, because today we are recording July 29. And I literally. I have friends being like, can you come here for a birthday? Can you do this? I'm like, I have to look day by day because if I look too much in advance, I literally start crying.

00:01:21
It is not good anyways, trying to live that way. So this is a great training, I guess trainings understand learning curve here. Yeah. The hardest thing in the world is to live for the moment. Mm hmm.

00:01:45
Especially, you know, when your mom, you got, you know, your kids are responsible. Right. Back to school shopping. We were walking the staples. Yeah, a couple days were like, back to school.

00:01:57
Like, Elizabeth fucking hated this store. I hated this. She's like, it was so much fun. Yeah. Typical fucking girl.

00:02:04
Smart. My mom bought us some cool pencils and like, fuck off. But living. Living moment. You know, we'll talk about it.

00:02:12
You know, we mentioned all the time, and you just said you're trying to live for the moment. Well, yes, it's really fucking hard to do it. But if you can master that, just, you know, a pretty special gift. Right. As a mom, you're always gonna have to plan, well, I gotta pick up my kids.

00:02:31
You want to are like, but if you can only, I guess a quarter of. A quarter of you be there in that planning stage. And the three quarters are in the moments. That's a pretty special place that most people don't ever get to. So I'm gonna finish this, uh, cinema.

00:02:50
Okay. Well, so, because I love that you said that and I think it's great. I mean, as we know, I'm living in the moment because if I don't, I will lose my shit. Um, because it's getting closer, uh, to, I'm not doing it on purpose. I'm doing it so I don't literally have, like, a fucking breakdown.

00:03:05
But let me ask you this. How is, how, how is it not like take away why you're trying to do it? Take away, how is it? Well, I know, and I love that. And I think this is actually a really great, this is going to segue into the topic we're going to talk about today.

00:03:23
I think.

00:03:26
I think that situations happen to everyone. So there's a learn, like, I always look at everything as, okay, what can I learn out of this? Like, I really do. Like, what lesson is an emotional lesson? What is it that I am going to learn?

00:03:39
How can I be better? The situation. Some people might be like, that's exhausting. But I really do most of most things. I do because I like to grow as a human.

00:03:48
I am not someone that really looks ahead or looks back. I am more of an a moment person. However, in this situation I'm living, I'm doing that. And yes, I'm not stressing about what's ahead. I'm not stressing, oh, my gosh, my kid's going to be going to school.

00:04:06
I'm doing it on purpose to protect my sanity because every time I look, I'm like, oh, my God, it's that many days. Oh, my God, it's that many days. And like, we, Hahn and I just had a really interesting, and he's, if he listens, he's like, great. Thanks for, like, airing our dirty laundry. Like, Hahn just waits.

00:04:24
Wait. The rest of the episodes about me. So I got you covered. They won't even remember this conversation. Right, I know.

00:04:30
And also, Hahn is not listening to this right now. But we got, we had a. A discussion. More of a. It wasn't an argument.

00:04:38
It was a more of a heated discussion because I was like, this is what I need from you right now. This is what I need from you because I am losing my shit. And I know you're like, I'm getting to it, but the constant emails I'm getting of reminders that it's not done. You've never let, like I said this, I was like, you've never let me down. You've always done what you like, what's on your plate.

00:04:58
I've never had to be like, wait, is Hahn getting it done? Is Hahn getting done? I know there's some partners I've never had to worry. It always got done. Always got done.

00:05:05
And I never been like, this is the timeline, however, in this college stuff, because of the amount of paperwork and the amount of stuff. And then I also have a child that's like, mom, is that done? And I'm like, honey, dad's doing that. So he's coming to me, asking me, why isn't it done? Hahn was waiting on things, but he's like, well, I need.

00:05:22
I need to get it done when I need to get done. I was like, okay, can. And we weren't seeing eye on it. I said to him, listen, what I need from you in this situation is to get it done on my timeline. And I know that sucks, because you have to do something that's off of your timeline.

00:05:36
But I'm literally losing my shit. Every time I get an email saying, this isn't done, I'm like, oh, my God, what else is not done? And then I go down the checklist, and it's. It's literally throwing me. And he's like, okay.

00:05:47
He's like, but how can I help you in that without getting it done? Now? Can Montgomery come to me? And so I was like, honey, they don't like, in the morning. It was like, put my dryer.

00:05:57
Stuff in the dryer. My old. My one son. I was like, dad was sitting right there. Why did you text me?

00:06:03
That's why I was gonna jump in here for a second. Is, again, this. And this is the. This is the detachment. Detachment apart that you have a heart.

00:06:13
You're gonna have a hard time when they leave. Dad, could dad be. Can. You know, dad could be sitting right there. But who's the person they go to mom, no matter if dad's there?

00:06:24
That's just their instinct. Right? And obviously, Montgomery always come for you first because that, you know, the retarded connection that we have as dyslexics. Right? So you can heal, bypass, and it's nothing personal, right.

00:06:43
You're their safe space. And it's because I stayed home, so it is. And I don't mean to interrupt you, but it is interesting. Cause in my brother's house, because he's the main one that stays home, or I have friends that the husband is the main one that stays home. The kids go.

00:06:56
So it's really whoever it is, and it has changed. But typically, right, it was the mom, so. 100%. But there's times where I'm like, guys, guess what? I have a full time job now, too.

00:07:06
I know that's like crazy to understand. It's just an adjustment in our house because it is like, so I can't take on everything that I still did. And Hahn, I mean, it's ingrained in them. Exactly. And it's that foundation you built, that foundation of.

00:07:21
Remember, we've talked about this, yo, you had to be on that, on that schedule, you know, to function, but you've ingrained that into them. So there's no right or wrong. Like you were talking about some. You got some friends or dads at home. There's no right or wrong.

00:07:36
It's whatever's going on in your house, you know, dad staying home, mom staying home, grandma staying. And there's no right or wrong, no judgment at all. It's what works for you guys inside your four walls. But for a certain period of time, you did it for a long time. That's them.

00:07:53
It is ingrained in them. It's almost taking a cinder block breaking with. Breaking it with a sledgehammer for them to break away from and start going to dad. So it's again. And I look at my house, you know, when I was married, I was never home, right.

00:08:09
I traveled, right. No, we played 82 games this, you know, in the regular season, plus like six playoff games here. We won the Stanley cup. It was like 115 games or something. And we started off in Europe, right, right.

00:08:24
We were. When I was first, you know, playing pro, first couple years, more than that. Up until somewhat recently, we had one day off a month. A lot of times our day off was flying back from like California. So the game's not until 09:00.

00:08:42
A lot of time we stay overnight and fly, you know, because we're not getting home till six, seven morning with the time change or depending on where we're going. So we're never home. It was ingrained in my kids, go to mom and every time if Dad's home now, you can go ask him and that's all. Right. Wrong.

00:08:58
But it's frustrating, hard for you. But off topic, how does it feel being in the moment? Yeah, it feels good. Where there's no where. I'm not stressing about what's ahead.

00:09:14
I know. All of a sudden I'm like, oh, wait, the kids are even going back, you know, soon. I mean, I feel like we just started summer because in New York, so it is this. But I have to say, I have a couple friends that are like, we're having a birthday can you be there? And I'm like, I can't look.

00:09:26
And so I'm sorry, I can't make any plans. So I'm like that annoying friend right now that's like, I don't know, plan. And if I'm there, I'm there. And they're like, well, we want you there. And I'm like, I love that, and I appreciate that, but I can.

00:09:36
I don't know what. I don't know what state of mind I'm gonna. I also don't want to go to your birthday and be, like, the fucking crying person. Like, I don't want to ruin, like, so I cannot. I'm not committing to anything, which does feel nice, but it's also welcome to my world.

00:09:52
But it's also not super realistic. Right? I mean, it's not, but it is what it is for this time. Can I rebuttal off that? Yeah, of course.

00:10:01
Why isn't it realistic? Well, because there are times where I do need to, like, hey, as a family, all my family's getting together for, like, Christmas and Thanksgiving. Hey, are you gonna be around to do it? It's not. It's like, it's not realistic to completely do this for a long time because I do need.

00:10:19
There are things that I do need to make plans, travel plans. Like, I'm coming to Chicago for the golf event. I need to. But you said there's certain times. Yes.

00:10:29
Yeah. So you're right. But not full time. No. Right.

00:10:36
And so this is. It is a good. It is a good lesson. You are 100% right. It is a very good lesson.

00:10:41
And I do want to say this. It is off topic, but my husband is like, he does the food shopping and the cooking. Like, I have to say, I can't complain about. I mean, he takes on so much, but these. But the thing that I want that.

00:10:53
I think it's going to be really great as we go into this next conversation is it is about the communication. And how many times have we talked about this? We all have to communicate how we're feeling in any kind of part. Business partnership, relationship with kids, because not everyone understands where we're feeling. And we think, why don't they understand?

00:11:14
And we get angry and frustrated. But it's like, oh, I didn't actually think about that way. That's what Hahn said. I didn't realize. I said I had it, so I figured you had it.

00:11:22
I was like, yeah, but I'm getting reminders, and it's killing my anxiety. Like, it's lit he's like, okay, I hear you. And I will be better at that. Let's take a little spin on that one, because this happened. This happened yesterday.

00:11:32
Yeah, obviously went golfing yesterday with a couple gentlemen, father, son. You know, they got an amazing app go. It's for golf here in Illinois. And then we go for lunch, and the dad was talking about his friends, got a lot of money, you know, could go on trips with them. But he gets.

00:11:50
He gets upset. He always turns them to down to go on the boys trip or whatever again, you know? And the dad, he's like, I had. My kind goes, my cousin died, my best friend. Yeah.

00:12:02
Like, three deaths last year. So he's like, really putting perspective to me. Life in a different way after that. Like, I'm trying to live a more. More free from working.

00:12:12
I'm working, but I'm taking time off and gonna go golfing with my son, or I'm gonna go golfing with my friends. He's like, I got a beautiful wife that lets me know that allows me to do that stuff. But he said, I got one friend that always there somewhere, perfectly iron clothes everywhere. And he's got this money, has the ability to do this stuff, and he doesn't. And he's like, I get frustrated.

00:12:37
So I said to him, you know, can I. Can I say something towards this? He goes, yeah. He goes, that's all self esteem. Excuse me?

00:12:43
I said, that's all self esteem. I said, he gets his self esteem from work, and he's afraid to take any time away. Because if you pull that self esteem again, it's not money. Because he's got. He never has to work another day in his life.

00:12:56
It's all self esteem. What if I walk away for three or four days, things collapse, and then my business goes collapse, and then when I've got no self esteem or, you know, I got perfectly iron my pants or my shirt when they're out, one of the boys, and he comes in looking like me, all scruffy, and he's like, don't you know, it's all self esteem. And we're having lunch, he's like, wow. Holy shit. Never thought of it that way.

00:13:22
No. Back to, you know, back to, you know, Hahn, Hahn and you and I, us. Craziness is you. You said communication, 150% communication. But it's understanding what that communication needs to be.

00:13:38
How do they learn? And how you and I, we're gonna. We're diving into this. We're, you know, we're gonna do a bigger episode on you on this? Let's go back to that love language, right?

00:13:50
Say your love language. Words. Words of affirmation. Yo, look, Hahn's coming home with gifts.

00:13:57
Why is he. Why does he keep doing this? Well, in Hahn's mind, he's doing something good. In your mind, you're getting pissed off if he doesn't know what that is. Right.

00:14:05
It's not his fault. It's real. Again, it's. It's not going to turn out the way it is. So as, you know, as you said, you guys, he doesn't, he doesn't.

00:14:14
He does a lot. He works, you know, go to cities. You know, you've got his. How. I mean, how many years you've been married?

00:14:19
Now this. This September is gonna be 21. 21. Well, that, you know, that's. Again, that's pretty, pretty amazing.

00:14:27
Everybody has ups and downs, you know, just because relationships, obviously, men and women, of course, you have to. I mean, if you don't, they say 70% of lesbian relationships end up in divorce. Who starts? That's. Now we're going down different.

00:14:40
But it's.

00:14:45
But it's the communication, not understanding. You know what that means? Because how many times here do I get knocked down? How many times am I on my ass because of how hard I work to try, trying raise this foundation and grow this foundation to the heights it's never been. And because it's.

00:15:07
Schools around here. Went back to school last week. Oh, I saw that. I saw boots and I, like, threw up in my mouth, you know, and the fear, like, then, you know, this will segue into what this next topic is, the fear of, you know, back to school. So I'm just.

00:15:24
Yeah. Walking in and we had to buy a printer. I'm like, all the yellow and like, I'm like, yeah, I just want to pull my. I want to go and pee all over and make it really yellow and this. But it's understanding how your significant other, whoever that is, whatever that is, how they learn.

00:15:44
Yeah. So. So I want to. I don't mean to cut you off, but this is actually a perfect segue into this because you are in a relationship. How long with Elizabeth now is eight months, nine months, something like that.

00:15:57
Yeah. Yeah. So this is what is really is awesome because you guys have had where like, you know, and we all. There's different phases of relationships, but when you're, like, older, you just get into it. There's not like, you just gotta get into the relationship.

00:16:11
Right? Like, you guys have both been in relationships, but you guys watch the movie, right? You don't want to think that she was in a relationship before you. You're that guy.

00:16:26
She likes illegal. She likes illegal immigrants that are dyslexic. Her other two massive crushes and dead center in the world are dyslexic, too. I'm like, oh, you like some for now. Some retards.

00:16:38
You can't readdeze. I don't think you're allowed to use that word. I think that is. Oh, actually, Penelope said you were allowed because you're on your adhd and dyslexic. I've never called anybody else a retard.

00:16:49
I call myself a retard. Let's clarify. Am I right on that one? Yes, you're 100%. And so anyone that is like, oh, I can't believe you said then anyone that's like, you know, PC, that's like, oh, we can cancel.

00:16:59
That's not. He is calling himself. He is not. He is the most. He doesn't always politically correct say things.

00:17:04
So that actually leads us into the movie because you guys were curious. Again, there's nothing political. I do not. I'm canadian and I think politics is. Is a shit show.

00:17:17
I don't like anyone. I just want some. Well, I just. I'm like, down the center. Just.

00:17:22
Can we just all just get along? Dyslexia doesn't discriminate. And race, religion, sex, gender, we don't care. So this, this, this, you know, this podcast will never become political. I'm canadian.

00:17:37
I'm from God's country, right? So that's the real Canadian, not the Ontario is not. That's the fake Canadian. So we can go on. This will never be.

00:17:47
I don't have strong political and anything. I think everyone's liars on every side. This purpose, you know, I did the other night and watched the movie, I think. I don't think they call it a documentary. I think it's movie.

00:18:03
JD Vance right now running minute with President Trump now hillbilly. Something, something. Yes. And I watched it in 2020 when it was out. But go ahead.

00:18:16
I'm gonna let you know. It's. Elizabeth wanted to watch it. I know. I never heard about it before.

00:18:25
Came out in 2020, so I was in my own. Just to get ready to call it. I was in my own shit. So I didn't even know existed. But it taught, you know, she's like, oh, you know, it talks about his life and supposed to be some stuff about mental health.

00:18:38
I'm like, okay, perfect. You know, I'll watch it because that's. That's. That's what I live. And you also love.

00:18:43
Love to learn. I mean, you are a learner. Like, these are the things that you do so you can hear other people's perspectives. Go ahead. 100%.

00:18:50
It's being able to put yourself in somebody else's shoes that I'm able to put myself in the person I'm speaking to, you know, shoes over a call. And, yo, this is the text message, one of the text messages that I got today.

00:19:07
My God. The desire not to be in pain is beginning to wear the weight of wanting to live.

00:19:17
So, these are the things that I get. You get every day. Yes. Not once or twice. Yes.

00:19:24
So it's. I've got to be able to put myself. Granted, we talked about this and never gotten into full, full detail of. Of all my shit because, you know, some of the people I would have to mention aren't okay with all this shit, is. There isn't too many things that I haven't gone through, and you can.

00:19:43
You can vouch for that. But I wanted to. She wanted to see it, so happy wife, happy life. You know, I heard that's a. That's a saying.

00:19:52
So, um, that'll be one of the next dyslexic foundation t shirt. So I put it on, and at the end of it, I couldn't make a determination if it was good or bad. Now, do you want to step in, or do you want to go? I do. I do want to step in.

00:20:08
So, you guys called me, and what you said was, I had a lot of emotions. A lot of feelings. And I said, oh, okay. Can you. Nope, I don't.

00:20:20
Feelings. Oh, yeah, yeah. I was like, let's talk. Let's dive into this. And Elizabeth started laughing, and she's like.

00:20:31
She's like, I kind of think and not laughing. Like, haha. Laughing, but, like, I had no idea what emotions. I didn't know where the correlations were in the movie. I had a ton of emotions at the end.

00:20:44
I actually. I cried a lot, and I didn't know why. I didn't know what. I couldn't piece it together. So then go ahead and, Elizabeth, fill it in.

00:20:54
Yeah, well, so. Right. That's what you said to me. And I said, you know, and we've talked about this many times. I've talked about this in my podcast I used to talk about with my clients, is that sometimes feeling feelings instead of actual visual memory, feelings are more important because you have these feeling feelings when something comes up and you're like, I either feel really happy and I don't know why or I feel really not good and I'm not sure, uncertain or you get angry or sad and you don't know, but it's like something.

00:21:21
And those are the kind of ones that are really important now. And I said, I said this and will say this when I had clients, like, I'm not a psychologist, so you need to maybe do some work with someone that's trained. But if it's like a nice, light feeling, you can do that on your own, right. It's not something that you can't. But if it's not a good feeling, and you said, I don't really know.

00:21:41
It was not. I had a lot of feelings. And you're like, it was just really the of him being misunderstood. And I just felt really uncomfortable and it just was a lot, a lot of feelings. And you said, I'm going to kind of dive into it and think about it.

00:21:54
And Elizabeth said, I think I know. And, and the reason why we're talking about this, I'm going to preface a couple of times. As we said in the beginning of the episode, communication is so important, and when you're growing in a relationship, it's so important. And we've talked about a lot of times, dyslexia ADHD, you're misunderstood. If your partner doesn't understand when you're communicating or like you didn't do something in any relationship, this can go for all relations.

00:22:21
We're speaking as dyslexic adhd people that have been in many different relationships, good, bad and different, you know, whatever it is. And so if this kind of conversation we're having can help someone be like, ah, okay, I want, you know, I need to be more gentle with my partner or I need to be more gentle with myself. So Elizabeth said, and then she also texted us, which I thought was great, do you want to go and I can read this or do you want me to read this?

00:22:55
I don't know. Go ahead and read it. Because I don't know where I go. Well, she said the reason why she thinks that the movie brought up some emotions and it was not so much due to the actions and experiencing matching yours. It really wasn't that you guys had a similar life in that sense with your family and all that, but the emotions of not fitting in, being overwhelmed and unequivocally to handle situations like leaving family home to do bigger and better things, feeling guilty for not being there when needed.

00:23:33
And at the end, you were really teary. When his wife learned he had been through, stayed and helped him and loved him regardless. And that is. It's being seen and heard. Right.

00:23:45
And you guys have, like, your relationship. You guys are doing a lot of work in a short period of time. That's pretty amazing. Yeah, I hope it was reading that. No, I obviously, I didn't know she knew I was crying, so.

00:24:06
You're a silent crier. Like, you don't. Your voice doesn't like, there's been a couple times now I realize. I was like, oh, you were teary. And I didn't know because when I cry, it's like my face gets all fucked up.

00:24:18
You like, just have tears that go down. That's very. Yeah, no, it, it. So I didn't even know, you know. Um, but we're, we kind of talked because as we talked yesterday, we're in the car together, you know, we're on the phone with you and we hung up.

00:24:33
I'm like, I said, did you, did you feel. Did you feel me? She go, ha. Yeah, hardcore. But it was.

00:24:40
I had, I had no idea what or why, you know, I felt what I felt. But then she won. Yeah, she said it 100%. It was, you know, there was a portion where I still don't get where he was at a dinner. So he was at Yale and he was supposed to.

00:25:02
He was meeting all these law firms. So I don't know if it was supposed to mingle with these, you know, the presidents or whatever CEO's of these law firms to be able to get a second or chance interview to get a summer internship. And he sat down by the guy. He kind of sought out the guy that he wanted to work for because it was in Washington, DC, because his girlfriend was going to Washington for her internship. And he looked down and there's like 62 forks to the left and 92 spoons to the right.

00:25:37
And Brad's over here. And Brad's over there. The anxiety he got from. He got up, walked out, called his girlfriend. I'm like, you know, he just got to know what to use.

00:25:48
I didn't know what to use. And she said, well, put your two fingers like this. This is bread and this is dinner. So. So your bread goes to the left and your drink, because it's so Hahn did this to me for like, when early on.

00:26:06
And not that I didn't know it, but because the b's and the d's, I still don't. I don't understand, but what. So a bee goes that way. So bread is on this side. And then d because you're drink.

00:26:18
This is supposed to act like a b. Yes, I know. It doesn't look like a b. So that's. I know.

00:26:23
I was trying to figure out. So I had no idea. So, yeah, so that's supposed to be a b. I know, that's why I never could get it. Like, but when you take, like I did, like, I think I shared with you, like, Hahnce assembly when I was little, and that's what they taught you.

00:26:35
But because of my dyslexia, I would always be like, oh, I need someone else to pick up their drink first. So your drinks are always to the right of, and your bread is always to the left.

00:26:48
I had to write it down to see what to see. Well, because that's for a dyslexic person, it's really tough because that's what he. He would talk to, like, you know, early industry stuff. And I was like, yeah, I learned all that, but I don't understand it. Just like you, I was like, oh, that's supposed to be a b.

00:27:01
Like, I get it. But, like, so bread and drink. So your water is your drink. Yeah, but him, you know, him sitting there, I knew exactly how he felt, and it was just one for myself. It just wasn't once or twice in that position, you know, there's hundreds felt how not seen or heard, you know, so it was 100% she was exactly accurate of how I felt.

00:27:35
You know, just seeing my, you know, feeling his anxiety, nuts, you know, literally he felt as he walked through the room that he was invisible. Nobody saw him. And that was, you know, majority of my life. And it kind of goes back to, you know, we talked about, I think, this week, or, sorry, our next episode of podcast, which is obviously, we're taping May 29 week, I think so was that August 1? This Thursday?

00:28:08
This Thursday is the one that's going to come out. Right? And that's when we talk about what took me out for four days. Right. Yeah.

00:28:16
And that's this. This is part of it. But I. So, and this is what we have talked about, about the podcast for us, like that we started it to really help others, but along the way, we have done some healing that we kind of didn't realize, you know, like, I would be like, oh, I guess, okay. I thought I was okay with that.

00:28:35
Apparently, I was not okay with that, you know, and even just talking about, you know, Montgomery going to college and all the emotions and school starting and just having someone on the other side, even though yes, I have people in my life that understand but it's a different level of understanding. When you and I are talking here. Someone can be listening to this and saying, oh, my gosh. Okay. I completely understand that now.

00:28:59
I completely understand where he's coming from. And I can put myself at a time that I was maybe at a dinner with him and thought he was being a dick. But it wasn't. Now I realized it was because he was anxious because he didn't know what to do or what to see or where to, you know, all of these things. And that makes a lot of sense.

00:29:18
You were thrown into this world. You know, we've talked about this many times. I've obviously, I was able to do something. I think, you know, I'm, well, I think I'm one of 1300 people in the world to win a stat one Stanley Cup. I think there's like 3400 people have ever played in NHL.

00:29:39
You know, like 1400 have ever won the Stanley cup once and then 400 have won it twice and 200 something. You know, something, you know, something degree that. So I'm like one of 1400 ever in the world. I never do things easy. Obviously the goal and the dreams and of the foundation is to obviously grow it to a place that dyslexia has never been in the world.

00:30:02
But we've learned a lot. You know, I had a couple calls last week and one and every, every non dyslexic that I speak to when it comes to this money, like, oh, you got to partner up with this celebrity. You got to partner up with this athlete. You got to partner up with this rich dyslexic. And no, y'all, I can say that I think I am one of, correct me if I'm wrong, maybe two people in this world that are okay with their dyslexia and that's why I talk about being homeless.

00:30:46
That's why I talk about being suicidal. That's why you talk about being addicted because that means you're healing and you're good guys like Richard Branson. Oh, yes, I'm dyslexic. They don't, they're not okay. So I'll use this an example.

00:31:02
If you're not okay with something like this is addiction. If you're not okay with your addiction, you're not going to donate money to a charity foundation about the addiction, right? That's not how this works. When you're okay, when you're fully okay with it and you love yourself completely, then you will be. Then you will.

00:31:27
So everyone wants to talk. To talk to you, you know, and say, you, charles Schwab, not okay with it. Richard Brown, not okay with it. These people aren't okay with it. So how many times are those guys taking me down?

00:31:42
Yep. And they. And they talk about it. So. And someone might say, no, he talks about it.

00:31:46
And what BrenHahn's talking, they are okay. Surface level, they're not okay. Deep level, they're not okay. Talking about the deep, dark stuff that we, when we started this podcast. And you guys can go way back when, I was like, oh, Brent, you're a little.

00:31:59
And I didn't use the word negative. I said, oh, you. I need to shine some sunshine over here and not talk about the real, real stuff. Like, what are the clarifies from the trolls?

00:32:13
Exactly. Well, exactly. But I was like. And that was where it was like, I talked about the good things about my dyslexia. I didn't go around talking about how my teacher called me retarded or how I said to my mom, I'm so glad that God only made me ugly on the inside or dumb on the inside or whatever.

00:32:30
Whatever. I said, like, those things don't feel great to talk about. But once you do talk about them and once you realize that you can help other people, how many people have said to us, oh, my gosh, thank you. Because they're kids are going to go through. It's great when your kid is getting diagnosed to show them successful people, 100%, but if you're always constantly showing them the positive, your kids, at one point in their life, any kidde, non dyslexic or dyslexic is going to be like, am I going to be successful?

00:33:02
Right? They don't always feel confident. And so when you're constantly showing all these great things, you need to show both sides of everything. That's why we talk about the strengths and the weaknesses. You need to talk about both sides of everything.

00:33:14
And that's why the communication and knowing your kid and doing the hard work in those situations is so important. Bless you. And I have to say, wait, I've readdeveloped Elizabeth's thing wrong. Not surprisingly, she said she meant un. I'm not.

00:33:29
I meant unequipped. Not unequivocally. Whatever. Whatever. Unequipped.

00:33:34
Well, that's. Yeah, you know, and so that one is, you remember as a kid, you know, mama had a baby and her head popped off. Right? Yeah, you flicked off the little Hahndelion. But you know that Hahndelion.

00:33:48
But that Hahndelion will grow back because you didn't get the roots right. So think of the top. That song is most dyslexics, Alden Schwab Branson, all these rich people, you know, pop in the head. But, yeah, that pain of that route is still there. They're not.

00:34:09
Okay. Yes. Are they successful? But are they truly happy? 100,000,050%.

00:34:16
Not right. They can do not love themselves. Okay. And they hide behind their money. So if you pull something from the roots, and that's.

00:34:26
That's what I do, that's where I go. Roots first, so it never comes back. Right. We're all, every single one of us in the world has trauma. We talked about this just recently.

00:34:37
Would you post, you know, and our trauma is the worst trauma ever because it's ours. Yeah, but the more. The more trauma that we can prevent with the dyslexia, the either, you know, a kid's life or anybody's life is going to be right. And just like, you know, as we've started this podcast, I mean, you've done, we say, you know, how many people that you have helped and how many people that you have walked through situations and you have said, yeah, there's stuff that I don't like to talk about and think about because I'm not there yet. I'm not there to kind of heal.

00:35:13
I don't like to watch a lot of different things. I kind of like to stay where I know what's going to happen, because if I know what's going to happen, I don't have to be taken down. And you're now in a healthy relationship with a healthy woman that is also like, okay, I see you, and I'm here, and I'm supporting you, and I love you, even. Even for your differences and all of this. And so that's uncomfortable for you.

00:35:38
Right. And it's taking you a little while to open, to be like, okay, I feel this, like, I'm not going to be left. I'm not going to be let down, because those are what normally happens. And so there's so many people out there that can relate to that. Dyslexic or not dyslexic.

00:35:54
Yours comes and, you know, from your dyslexia, not being seen and heard as a child, that's where yours come from. Someone else can be listening to this, and they can be like, oh, okay, I wonder where mine came from. But it is important to do that work. And we have talked about this in the beginning. We haven't talked about it in a while.

00:36:10
But having a platform where a comfortable person you can talk to, seeking out professional help if that's needed, writing things down, like those feeling feelings, as I said, those feeling feelings where you're like, oh, I don't know why I feel weird. Go back and talk about it to yourself. If you're not comfortable talking about it, someone else. Go on a voice text, write it down and dive into it a little bit, because if you do not heal it, it's coming out somewhere. And as you have said, those skeletons are coming out.

00:36:40
Right? And you. There's been times I've said to you, like, wait, I think you need to talk about that. And you're like, I'm not ready. And I'm like, you're stuffing.

00:36:46
You're. And we talked about stuff, the fun. Right? Yeah, we haven't done that, but we're on, you know, that. That's.

00:36:51
That's on our list. Yeah, but those things are really, really important. It's hard, yo. Yeah. Not easy here, obviously, you know, taking 46 years to connect with somebody, and you're the first person people like, what are you talking about?

00:37:07
Let's try living that way. It's, you know, it's not fun, you know, last life has never been easy. Last year. And, um, it's learning what those feelings are, you know? You know, and I always have a joke to go with it, you know, being sober.

00:37:25
Yeah. I gotta have sober sex the rest of my life. God damn. It's played sober golf. Come on.

00:37:30
No way. Can't do this. But, you know, it's sitting with those feelings. Sitting and golfing. Yesterday, I hit every goddamn tree in the fucking golf course.

00:37:40
I gotta sit with those feelings all day long. I want to chop everyone, those assholes down. They're in my way. Um, I always make a joke of it, like, you know, and jokes the right word. I always try and make light of everything is because it's fucking heavy.

00:37:56
It's hard. It's hard to be almost 50 and just connecting with people, you know, and being let down and, you know, um, obviously, we're coming out. You know, we just finished and just hit our July goal. Do you want to touch upon that as well? But I do want to go back for a second and say, there's people out there that never do the work, so they never connect with anyone.

00:38:25
And so even though you're 47, you have to be proud of yourself. You're 47, right? Going on 67. My body, my brain's 77, but I'm still Illinois. Where's my parking pass, my handicapped parking pass.

00:38:39
But you have to. And I know you're making light, and I'm not making light, and you're like, get off of this. But you have to. You allow that. And we've talked about it.

00:38:49
It kind of was like I said to you, okay, well, what made you be like, okay, Juliet is not going to screw the foundation. She's not. And you're like, I don't know, stuck around. Was like, I believe in this. I believe in you.

00:39:03
And that's the thing. Sometimes it only takes one person to believe in you and believe that you're good enough. It means, you know, obviously that means the world to me, because if you take a look at, you can't. You know, you'll obviously, obviously got some taglines of foundation, but no, the one big ones can't get to two. You get to one.

00:39:19
So I couldn't connect with the second person until I found that first person. And, you know, have you been. Have you stuck around? Yes. Have you helped me more than anybody, hundred million percent right, to get here, you know, so that connection helped me, you know, uh, you know, failed to connect with Elizabeth.

00:39:38
So there. There's so many things that I'm grateful, uh, in our. Our friendship. It's, you know, the. The list is too long to say, but it's.

00:39:48
You can't connect with somebody. Do you understand yourself? And it's taken. It took me 46 years, you know, to understand what I am or, you know, so everybody always talk about, you know, we talk about this. The label.

00:40:04
It's not a label. Right. Or. For that, if. If I didn't know how I found out when I was 32 years old, guarantee you and I wouldn't be here together, I wouldn't be with Elizabeth, and 150 million% would have killed myself by then, by now.

00:40:20
So I wouldn't be here. So I once said, those. Not the label. The understanding of what I have, that's when I can slowly start learning to be okay with, you know, start understanding it. How do you understand what your love language is without being in a relationship?

00:40:39
Right, right. So it's. Yeah, but you also. It has. But you also.

00:40:44
And this is what I want the listeners to listen to, because you allowed yourself as uncomfortable as it was. And I, again, didn't do it on purpose. Like, I didn't know how. What a dark place you were in. Right.

00:41:00
I didn't know. Knew that you had dyslexia. I knew that that was important. I knew what you. You said, like, four things that I was like, wait.

00:41:09
I always say that, like, I want to help. I want to get involved. Right? So it was me just kind of pushing you, but you allowed it. You could have said no, right?

00:41:17
And we talked about this many times, so I'm not going to go into the details, but I was like, let's start the podcast. You were like, no. And then I was like, me? You could think that, but I. But you finally were like, fine.

00:41:33
And we did talk about this, and I don't remember what episode, but just so if someone didn't hear, I said to you, what made you stick around? Right? Like, was it not to let me down? Not to, like, not to let yourself down because you realized this was a gang, and you said, there were some days that you were like, I don't know. And I even.

00:41:50
There were some days I gave you the out, right? We talked about this on the episode that's coming out, the Thursday is. I also have said to you, I never want you to feel like you're stuck. Like, I never want you to be like, okay, I'm done with this. But I don't know.

00:42:04
So this is where people need to understand themselves and also have the communications. And I can't go, like, communicating, I believe, is one of the number one things to make someone successful in life and being well rounded. Not you can be successful in business and not be a great communicator, but being a well rounded, happy human, to me, if someone asks me, I've always said it. But being able to communicate your feelings to someone else and being opened and honest and. And then having that reciprocated.

00:42:37
Right. Because you could communicate and not have it. But, like. And that's the dyslexia side, is you can communicate it, but you have to know who you're communicating it to and how they live, how they learn. They learn.

00:42:51
I mean, I've had to switch. I had to tell. I was like, to Hahn, when we had our heated conversation, I said, I don't understand how you don't understand. Like, I am saying it clear, and that doesn't always happen, but sometimes it does. And I just read a text from someone about days that they could see for working out, and I read it wrong.

00:43:12
Like, I I put that on my wrist all the time, and I was like, oh, wait, you're going away. She's like, no, that's not what I said. And I read it again, and I was like, oh, I know that. I said, I'm trying to think. Who said what?

00:43:23
Oh, you know, currents, taxed, me. You know, something was dogged. And I'm like. I responded like, oh, I didn't need me yet. And on the bottom, bottom half, the taxi's like, no, I already know.

00:43:32
Dropped dog out of my sister or something completely wrong. So. But it's understanding. No, ourselves, right? It's understanding ourselves.

00:43:42
You know? And I've always had saying, I've probably said, you know this a million times. It's. You have to know who you're communicating. You know, for an example, being a Canadian.

00:43:51
Am I talking to a Canadian? So am I talking Celsius or am I talking. Talking Fahrenheit? Am I talking to american? Is.

00:43:56
Am I talking Celsius or Fahrenheit? Am I talking to my friends in Europe? I mean, in Finland, is it Celsius or Fahrenheit? I mean, what I mean by that is, how do they learn? How do they hear me and not only hearing me, process me, right?

00:44:15
If you're, you know, Sam drove 10 miles, you say that to me. I've got no idea where the fuck Sam is. So I'm not talking to them the way they learn. So not only feeling, communicating, learning to be able to communicate in different ways, because not every person hears it the same way. Yep.

00:44:35
And that's where you have to be okay with yourself. So I love that. And thank you for sharing all that.

00:44:42
July. So we hit 10,000. So if you're just tuning in, we did seven. Seven. Seven for the month of July because it was.

00:44:50
It is the foundation's birthday. Brent, sober for seven years. It was the 7th month. Seven upside down hockey sticks. So many different sevens.

00:44:58
So we came up with the campaign and it was like, let's hit it. We hit it on July 15. July 17 was the 7th year, which is just really cool. Again, 7717. There's a lot of sevens.

00:45:09
And I sometimes love to, like, I don't dive deep into those things, but I'm like, okay, that's coincidence. Like, that's not a coincidence. That's like something we need to just say. You don't dive deep. No, because I can't tell you exactly what the seven.

00:45:25
Like, someone could say, oh, seven means this and did it. Like. So I died. Don't believe anything God damn word she is saying right now. She goes down rabbit holes and some kind comes up with carrots.

00:45:39
That is true. But not so much like a scientist would know everything about. Right, the sevens and what all the meanings there. I'm just saying I don't. I don't know.

00:45:47
All the details of it, I just know. Wait, that's a lot of really good. If there's ten, you only know nine. Sorry. You're back.

00:45:53
Exactly. Exactly. So we hit 7777. And it's kind of funny because I also was like, let's do 77,000. You're like, I think that's really ambitious.

00:46:03
And I was like, oh, I'm ambitious. And then it was like, well, let's be realistic. So we did seven. Seven, seven. We hit it on July 15, and it was like, okay.

00:46:14
That was amazing. Right? It was the foundation. It was kind of the first online campaign we did, and it was successful, and it felt great. It felt great.

00:46:22
And then it was like, you know what? There's so many different things. And I think you said, let's see if we can hit 10,000, because let's. Let's help. I know I can help four more kids because school's going back.

00:46:37
We might as well. Yeah. You know, talking about this. Yeah. You know, the 15th, we're like, no, we just hit a goal that we've never hit on, you know, in a short line, short time on an online campaign.

00:46:52
I said, we've never hit $10,000 on in a month. An online campaign. Well, we. Let's. Let's try and hit that.

00:47:00
And here we are. Monday, July 29. We hit 10,000. We hit 10,000. So the other funny thing is, brent's like, I'll do something.

00:47:12
He said, it's not funny. It's not funny. I'll do something. And so it was like, people were like, cut your hair and do all these things. And I was like, oh, friend, like, shave your head.

00:47:25
You and Keith. Keith, go shave your head. I want to see the chrome dome sobel does. Chrome dome. You two.

00:47:31
I think you guys spent 3 hours going back and forth. I'm like, what the hell is that? I said, oh, that's a good one. But then I said to you, because that is, like, a big thing. Wouldn't it be funny if you.

00:47:41
Or fun if you wanted to keep your hair? You could dye it gold or do, like, gold tips. And then I just started fucking with you, right? Because it was like, this is fun. This is funny fucking.

00:47:51
This is what? Like, this is where you want to go? Yeah, it's like, let's. What will you do? So, um, this morning, I think with.

00:48:02
We, uh. We put a post up. Shave is at her. Two gold dips. If we had 10,000, I don't know how quickly that happened.

00:48:11
Um, and we were 450. I'm not even going to tell you right now. Oh. So eat those apples. I am going to do a video today.

00:48:23
Okay? No congratulating everybody that we did it. And on that video, I will release what I'm doing. Okay. So again, this is going out afterwards, so you guys will see it, but you can go if you want to see the fun videos, because, Brent, that's one thing that you've been so good also.

00:48:42
Just kind of just, hey, I'm having a tough, you know, tough week. I'm having a tough day. And it's really resonating with people because there's a lot out there, right? There's lots of stuff. And as we always talk about, everyone's going through something and just to know or just to get a laugh on something or just to know that other people are, you know, kind of not in, like, the best spot or, oh, I'm having a good day.

00:49:08
It does help because you feel seen and heard or understood, which is, you know, you're not alone. I mean, that's a. That's, you know, I mean, so important to you. That's the tagline of the foundation. And so you're gonna share with us, so we're not gonna be allowed what you're gonna do, which is.

00:49:29
Yeah, this is. I think I've had a couple people be like, don't let him shave his head. And I was like, I have no control over any of this. Oh, today's picture. Oh, yeah.

00:49:41
Shaving. Someone said, just shave the center just long. Like, I mean, shave everything.

00:49:50
That's hilarious, right? Shave everything except the top. That's pretty good, though. It is pretty good. Mm hmm.

00:49:57
And that's gonna take a long time to grow back. Now, hair does grow back. I am a type of person. Listen, I might, you know, I'm almost 50. I'm not going.

00:50:06
Not going bald anywhere, any, anytime. Yeah, you got. You got a good. You got a good hair. Rico suave, yo.

00:50:13
I should be doing some hair commercials. Or, you know, back in the day, I had a good looking belly button. Maybe belly, but not anymore. Cause I had my appendix out, and they put an extra hole there, and I had, like, a three button. I got three belly buttons now, so I can't go on these fans and have a belly button off.

00:50:36
This is gonna be fun. Okay, so as you're listening to this, it's already done so well. Right? Well, so that's what the thing is. It's up to him what he's gonna do.

00:50:47
But you can go to Brent Sopal on Instagram. Brent Sopal, right. Isn't that what it is on Instagram? You can also go to the Sopal foundation on dyslexia because that will be all over the place on what Brent did. So if you missed it and you're like, wait, what did he do?

00:51:02
I don't know. You didn't tell me in this episode. This is out in a couple weeks. So this will be coming out sometime in August. So that was July.

00:51:10
And then we do have some exciting news that we're going to be doing in July for things that are happening in October that people are going to want to know about. So today's Monday. So August 1 is on Thursday. Yep. So Thursday.

00:51:28
Right. So go to the soplefoundation.org so you can kind of follow along. You can put an email in there. We don't spam you. It's just like, hey, these are things.

00:51:36
I don't even think we've actually sent out many newsletters at all yet. I. We know newsletters will probably. Yeah, yeah. I will go out starting, I think, in November.

00:51:46
You know, obviously we have in September, the golf event. Yep. And then obviously, October, we have an event that we're not. Well. Oh, we can talk about, you know.

00:51:59
Okay. We're gonna have dinner with the Stanley Cup. Stanley cups. Coming back to Chicago for an event with a SoPO foundation. It's a private event, so you gotta.

00:52:09
You gotta buy tickets or over. Yes, yes. Or what can they do? Oh, I guess we can do, you know, we talk about that campaign. So.

00:52:16
Yeah, you can. You can. You can buy tickets or. What we're gonna do for August is for every $20 donation to the foundation, your name goes into a hat. And we're gonna do a live, I don't know if it's a live draw or tape draw.

00:52:33
When Juliet and Hahnny and some other individuals are fly here to Chicago, September 16 golf event. So it's maybe September 14 or September 15, we are going to do. It's either going to be recorded and when we announce that that person. So every time you donate dollar 20, your name goes into a draw to have a chance to win dinner with the Stanley cup. Two tickets to win dinner with the Stanley cup.

00:53:06
So you can donate, you know, once for $20 or, you know, five times, you know, for those hundred dollars, whatever. 20. $20 at a time, whatever it is. But you're gonna have the ability to have dinner with the. Sound the cup again.

00:53:20
First time. It's burnt. Coming back to Chicago and in many, many years. Okay. And I'm gonna say, are we doing 20?

00:53:26
I thought we were doing. I thought we were gonna have a number that's also significant. So, like 25 or whatever. Whatever it is. And it's going to be around there.

00:53:33
It's not going to be. It's going to be, you know, again, it's not going to be more, you know, it's not. It's not. We're not talking a $100 or. Yeah, you know, it's going to be something.

00:53:40
Yeah. So there, you know, maybe. Is it 22, 50 or whatever that final number is? It's going to be somewhere in that area because I want to do a half dive into some numbers for August. Oh, so you're going to come up kind of like the 777.

00:53:55
You're going to have to do the half dive. See, now, folks, don't tell me she doesn't drive down the rabbit hole. She just told you she's diving down the rabbit hole. No, I said half, half rabbit hole. I'm going to find what I need and then get out of the rabbit hole.

00:54:06
And we're going to. You're going to. You and Elizabeth will also be in there, so we'll come up with the number. But it will be in. It's not going to be like more than $30 or something like that.

00:54:15
So it's going to be in somewhere in that range and we can think of it. Yeah. So, I mean, just exciting things, exciting ups and downs, you know, being an entrepreneur, being, you know, the founder of a charity, a foundation, who's. Ups and downs and knowing what to help been. This is by far the hardest thing in the world that I've ever had to do is try and grow a foundation.

00:54:46
Um, it makes hockey like a walk in the park compared to what I have to do because of all the embarrassment that is wrapped around it. So it's. It's a mental grind. It's a physical grind. It's.

00:55:02
It. I would rather, you know, take slap shots to the face over and over again, then I shouldn't say rather. It's a hell of a lot easier and less painful than trying to grow this foundation, but I'm not gonna stop. I know you're not. That's why I asked you to do the podcast very nicely.

00:55:30
If, if that. If that's your nice. Go on, do it, do it, do it. All the gold kids are dying. So the only reason.

00:55:39
Deal. The final words were, you don't have to do anything. You can just show up. Is what made me feel okay enough to say yes. Yep.

00:55:51
And I did that not on purpose. Just be like, wait, I have it. I just need you to show up. Can you be here at 11:00, 10:00 your time, every Monday? No.

00:56:01
And so the fear of me having to do research or having to write or having to do this or having to read or this was eliminated. Yep. So then I was able to say yes, knowing that that whole aspect was eliminated. That's the only reason I said yes. Yes.

00:56:21
And then I'm gonna leave it with this. But the thing is, you didn't understand how much I understood dyslexia and not knowing what to do and fear and all of these things, even though I maybe had said, yeah, you know, I'm dyslexic. My kids dyslexic, my dad, and all these different things. You didn't know how I actually was is like, okay, I completely understand because I had lived it. But not everyone's experience is the same, and that's even when you are dyslexic, when you're not dyslexic, whatever.

00:56:56
If you do not have conversations around it and have the understanding around it, like, someone else might not be okay. Cause they're like, ooh, I don't know. So, like, being opened and having these kind of conversations are what are important. Not always easy, but important. 100%.

00:57:14
All righty. Okay. You know what I say every single time, like, rate, review, and share, because you do not know who needs to hear this. Seriously. Someone might be like, wait, I would love to do this.

00:57:25
Go to the Stanley cup. And I, you know, I can put some my names in my hat. I know. Friends and family. But I also, you know, what, appreciate Brent sharing the story and.

00:57:34
And having his, you know, Elizabeth, also understand and see, and you might be in a situation in your relationship where it's like, okay, you know what? I'm not being that opened. I'm not talking about things that maybe are bothering me. And so, again, communication is the word of the day, isn't it? Like Sesame street.

00:57:54
Yeah. Where's Kirstjer? What was that guy who has eyes? Where's that guy? The count.

00:58:02
No, count. Doesn't count. He's got googly eyes. What's that guy's name? I like that.

00:58:09
Oh, and he was on it. Yes, I know. I don't remember what his name is. He was a puppet. Now we're gonna have to look at it and talk about it.

00:58:14
And we'll leave you with that attention. Definite moment brought to you by the Sobel foundation. So again, guys, thank you for joining, like, rate, review and share. And we will see you for another episode of word blindness. Dyslexia exposed.