S5E6: Question Everything - The Art of Asking to Open New Doors, with Mitra Manesh

“Imagine that instead of becoming vindictive and being reactive and going around and having a horrible time with you or anybody that is with you, you just become creative. That is the ultimate revenge, creativity.” - Mitra Manesh

Do you want to discover the powerful solution to improving teaching methods and understanding dyslexia? Experience the transformation and learn how to overcome dyslexia with creative teaching methods. Get ready to unlock the potential for improved teaching and understanding of dyslexia!

Mitra Manesh is a senior mindfulness educator at UCLA and a coach to many well-known and unknown happy people. She’s creator of “Mindful Attentionist Self- Coaching” program, a year-long inside-out deep dive into a life of choice and wellbeing. She’s also the author of the upcoming book, The Attentionist. Mitra has been a Human Right Commissioner in Ontario, Canada, a commentator/panelist for CBC and Omni TV, and an executive for numerous non-profit and for-profit entities. Her corporate clients include Amazon, Merrill Lynch, Unilever, UCLA Anderson, The Capital Group, United Health, Hugo Boss, C.A.A., EDC, Annenberg Foundation, The Senate of Canada…to name a few. Living, learning and teaching mindfulness for the past 4 decades on 4 continents has gifted Mitra with many rewards and sometimes even awards. The most surprising came when mindfulness met royalty, and she received the 50th Golden Jubilee Medal from Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

Transcript:

00:00:03
Welcome to your next stop podcast.

00:00:08
Welcome back to your next stop. This is Juliet Hahn, and I have. If you're watching this on YouTube, I have the biggest smile on my face right now because I have one of my. I mean, really, Mitra, we connected. And I'm gonna get into all of this, and I'm gonna kind of keep it where I'm not as crazy jumping into this as I want, because I want to, like, I basically have an intention deficit moment where I'm just throwing up on everyone.

00:00:30
But I'm going to introduce you first. Mitra minesh. Welcome back to your next stop. THahn you, Juliet. It's a pleasure to be here.

00:00:39
And did I say your last name right? Absolutely. Both of them. Well, I practiced because I remember the first time I had you on, you were on my live show back. It aired June 10, 2001.

00:00:51
Wow. And I remember you and I really having this beautiful connection where we couldn't stop being connect. Like, we just kept talking, talking, and we met, and I don't remember exactly where we met. I want to say it was probably clubhouse or LinkedIn. Thinking of the time, I think we.

00:01:06
Were both panelists on some kind of conference. We were speaking. That's what I recall. Yeah. Yes.

00:01:13
No, you're totally right. So that's. I want to also let people know they can find you. You're a mindful educator, and there's beautiful things that you're doing right now. You're an author.

00:01:21
I mean, you're a speaker. There's like, I'm so excited to find out where you have gone. And that's why I want people, if they want to go back and listen to their beginnings of your life, but they can find you on your website, which is. I'm going to spell it out, but tell me if I spell it wrong. It's.

00:01:37
Mitramanesh.com is your website. They can find you on LinkedIn and then on Instagram. It's your name, but underscore and correct. Okay, perfect. See?

00:01:50
I'm on it. Well done, Juliethe. So, I mean, there's many things that I'm excited about because we just, you know, my listeners know I kind of talk a little bit behind the scenes before we hit record, and I kind of came in hot, like. And you're like, you okay? And I was like, yeah, I just, uh.

00:02:08
I have a lot going on right now. And so we did. And I said to you, I have. When we met, I was really. I don't even think my storytelling business was up and running.

00:02:18
I think I was doing workshops and talking, and I had the podcast, and I was doing the live events. I was doing the stuff with the, the NFL, which I still do, like a segment for the Super bowl, but it was all kind of growing. And that's one of the reasons why I love doing podcasting, because it's almost like this history time capsule that we can go back and look where we were and then how far we have come, and then also the setbacks, like where we were. So you just shared. I was telling you all the things I'm doing, and my listeners know, you know, I'm working very closely with the Sopel foundation for dyslexia, Brent Sopel.

00:02:54
We have a podcast called word blindness. And so I was taking you up to speed on that, and you said, wait, you know that I'm dyslexic if you read my page. And I said, wait a second. I do remember when we interviewed you telling me how much you struggled, but I don't think we ever said to each other we were dyslexic. So we just kind of went through this whole thing.

00:03:14
And if you can share just for a second, because you said to me, because of your dyslexia, the way you teach, so can you just take us through that a little bit and then we're going to get into, like, all the new things that you're doing? Sure. Yes. I didn't know I was dyslexic as a child. Such a thing I don't think was a thing.

00:03:32
And if it was, I wasn't diagnosed. But I realized that I understand things not as they're presented, but in colors, in shapes, and most importantly, in patterns. So now walk back for. Walk forward 40 years, 50 years. And I teach mindfulness.

00:03:54
I teach it at UCLA. I teach it privately. I take mindfulness to workplace places. I do mindfulness coaching mediation because I'm a former human rights commissioner and adjudicator. So I do a lot of mediation work.

00:04:06
And what is interesting is this, that if I tell you, and I know it's like Hallmark card, it's a gift. It's a gift, but it truly is a gift in practice for me, that, first of all, I simplify everything I hear. And when people talk, I see them in patterns. So when my clients come, be it a corporate client or a one on one coaching client, they say something to me, and I'm seeing a pattern. So I tell them, like, within half an hour, this and this and this, and almost single one of them, first session, they say, who did you talk to before meeting me?

00:04:43
And I make it a thing that I never research my clients, never, until I know them and they want me to. And I say, nobody. You were telling me this, and they cannot comprehend what I'm talking about. I'm seeing a pattern as they tell. Telling me about their personal life, their professional life, and their social life.

00:05:03
So that's one gift. The other gift is when I simplify the deepest concept about soul and invisible and energy and visible world and all of that, I just say it the way I understand it. So here's the statement. If I understand it, Juliet, almost everybody understands it, because I just do not understand complex things very easily. Right.

00:05:30
And you are an incredibly brilliant woman. And that's where, when people think of dyslexia that don't have any knowledge of it, they think, you know, that you're not as smart. And that is one of the things that we talk about on word blindness at all the times that it's not anything to do with your iq. So when you're tested, like, when I was tested, I always laugh. I probably had, like, red number, you know, five.

00:05:52
And so my attention definitely was off the charts. So I tested really poorly in some things. So they're like, oh, she's just dumb. It's not that she learns different. And that was the narrative that I had, and I shared with you that.

00:06:06
And I think my listeners know I'm feisty. So as much as people would tell me that, I would kind of give them the finger and be like, you know what? I'm going to prove them wrong. But that doesn't happen for a lot of people. A lot of people, it just makes them shrink and shrink and shrink.

00:06:20
And the patterns that you say we talk a lot of about is the empathy and how we can read people. Like, that is one of the things why I became so, like, successful in my storytelling is because I know how to read people so well because of being in the classroom, not knowing what I'm doing. As you were saying, like, someone's taking a piece of paper out, you're like, what did I miss? I remember that so vividly. Like, I was just listening.

00:06:42
What did I miss? I don't understand how all of you know what to do. Where am I wrong here? So the fact that you can pull that out, that is a beautiful gift. But as you also shared with me, is that, you know, and I remember the first episode really clearly, and I did not listen back to it.

00:06:59
So I'm, you know, that's another one of our gifts, we can kind of hold on to some things is that you said that you were considered, or you would have been considered the village idiot because you were so different than everyone. Yes. And like, that is what we're trying to change, because it is not diagnosed as much. There's people are like, oh, well, no, dyslexia is so much more talked about. It's so much more remediated.

00:07:23
It is not in the schools, because just what you said, you have adjusted the way you teach. The schools are still teaching back in archaic days. And yes, they're remediating some kids, but a lot of times it's having to go to these private schools that sometimes help, sometimes don't. And they're so much money that most of humankind can't even pay for them. And 50% of prison inmates are dyslexic, like.

00:07:47
So as much as we keep saying we're doing so much in this world for dyslexia, we have so much more understanding. It's happening in the educational world where they're studying it. They know what the brain looks like a little bit different than they did before, but we're still not getting to that child in the chair that is sitting there looking around saying, I don't understand why I'm missing it. Because the teachers are not being educated. The teachers are not being educated on how to teach.

00:08:12
And you're just gifted because you have you figured out who you are as a person and what works best for you. So now you know how to teach it to someone else. And that's a beautiful gift. And they are true. That is true.

00:08:26
And it is true that it's more talked about than, let's say, when I was a child. But the fact is, talking doesn't do anything. It's a great place to start, not a great place to stop, and feels like that's stopped to some degree. And that is very important, because even now, when for first time, I go, let's say, ask about something at the bank or something, I am sure I can tell. I mean, they're polite, but because of the way I ask questions, they think I am very slow.

00:08:58
And then if they stay with me, the following question after the introduction to information, they sort of like, take a double take. They say, look, wow, nobody has asked us this question. I say, yeah, but I'm asking it. So it's really, imagine what happens to that child that is treated or being told like you have been, that you are dumb, and then that stays with you. My fortune was that my family was very academic, and I was the youngest.

00:09:29
So I went to school that my siblings went to, and everybody would see my last name and say, oh, are you related to Satan? I say, oh, are you just as sharp as they are? I thought, oh, apparently I need to be sharp. And I pretended I was sharp, and eventually that really was my savior. Believe it or nothing right now, it's not a healthy behavior.

00:09:53
You don't want to compare siblings. I mean, I really advise and counsel against it, but that mistake, so called, really helped me. But not everybody is fortunate enough to have that opportunity to figure things out. So. Yeah.

00:10:09
Yeah. Well, tHahn you for sharing that. And, I mean, it's so funny. I said to you, I was like, wait, maybe I need to have you on word blindness. But then I was so excited to talk to you, I didn't want to stop.

00:10:19
And I was like, you know what? We can still have you on word blindness because that audience is a different audience, and we can just talk about the dyslexia. I mean, you and I obviously could talk about it for hours and days and years. And so I appreciate that. But so I would love, you know, what's different in season five of your next stop is we kind of.

00:10:41
I'm bringing back some of my favorite guests for some of the shows and really just kind of talking about what you're doing now. And, you know, my listeners can go back if they're like, wait, but I want to know, you know, where Mitra grew up and all of these different things. They can go back and listen to the June 10, 2021. It didn't have an episode number because it was yns live. We were on Fireside.

00:11:03
We did a live show, which was really fun back in the day when that app was really blown up. And so there's no episode number. But they can go back to June 10, 2021. You can find that on any podcast players, or you can go to my website, or you can go to Google and put Mitra minest your next stop, and it will pop right up. So you can kind of listen to that.

00:11:22
But if you can kind of share some of the things that you're doing right now, I know you're finishing a book, and you're always. I mean, I feel like, obviously, you're a mindful educator. We talk about that, but you are always educating. So take us a little bit of where you are in your life right now. So I'm always educating and being educated, and that's the beauty of what I do, that I can be a student and a teacher at the same time.

00:11:51
I just turned 67, and I know people say that, especially celebrities, but truly, I feel like I have so much in me that I probably can live like another half a century. I don't know if I will, but I could with the projects that I have in mind. But let me tell you what's going on right now. First of all, because of dyslexia, and I really don't want to go back on that, but I have no, please do. No, please do.

00:12:18
My book is called the attentionist because I think attention is truly the key for our well being. So I always say, if you tell me where your attention is, I can predict where your wealth, where your health, and where your well being is. Just tell me where your attention is, and I can tell you. So the book is, the attention is, which basically talks about how most of us, most of the time, I mean, I would like to say all of us, all the time, but I won't live in survival mode regardless of what we have and what we know, which is a very strong statement to make. As you know, I'm in Los Angeles, and I work with many well known people, and I see that pattern in them.

00:13:08
I also do a lot of free volunteer work where people who literally don't have food to eat that night. And I see it and I'm thinking there is not much difference between these two groups. And these two groups could not be further away from each other. That's a fascinating word from outwardly, sort of from the look of their lives, but they are very, very similar in their suffering. So their pains may be different, but their sufferings is exactly the same.

00:13:38
And so that's the book. But what I've done is I have developed a one year program based on this book, which is called attention. It's self coaching program that I teach people basically how to do what I do for private clients, which is not affordable to lot of people. And then I also, once they graduate, I groom them to become professional coaches and do what I do, because eventually my dream is within the next year or so to do far less of one on one executive and private coaching and more of basically just teaching what I do in private for clients to students globally. That is my dream.

00:14:22
Based on the book, basically. Yeah, I love that. Now, where do you think in your work? And I think one of the things that's fascinating, before we started hitting record, I was giving you kind of the timeline of from when we first met to where I am, you know, being the chief communication officer for Fed Tech, which in my wildest dream, never would have ever thought that that happened. But it was one of those things that I'm curious.

00:14:49
I do believe, because of my dyslexia, I love to ask questions. But that's how I learn. I need to ask questions. I need to ask questions to be able to understand things, as you just stated. And so seeing the evolution of where I am now, I can go back and I can see why it happened.

00:15:06
Right? It's not like, oh, my God, where did this come from? That's so weird. I can actually go back and be like, okay, I see all the little steps that happened that now put me where I am, kind of. What were the steps that led you to decide to write this book?

00:15:22
Basically, the book is the result of I've been doing this work for 40 years, and this 40 years on four continents. I've lived around the world, right? So I thought, if I want to put together things that I know through work experience and my own knowing and knowledge, what would it be? So I basically put that in writing. And as you said, our journeys are so different when it's designed is very different than when it's open ended, which it is, with dyslexic people, mainly because, I mean, I don't comprehend a lot of things that people do.

00:16:02
I went from one continent to another, truly not knowing what I'm going to do. And I ended up in Australia. Well, you know, I'm originally from Iran and left Iran on foot, but I ended up earlier years in Australia. That's where I started, actually coaching, when coaching was not a thing. Every time I said, I'm a coach, they said, oh, gymnastic.

00:16:28
And I wondered where that came from. It was because I was asleep and I was a woman, and coaches were like gymnastic coaches. But I started actually, that happened because we had a tech company. My then husband and I and a client of ours had a meeting with us and his team, an american company, I remember. Exactly.

00:16:51
And the person who was running it had a meeting only with me. And then I gave him some feedback on the team he had brought. Just said, you know, you're this and that. And he said, how do you know that? In those days, there were no Google.

00:17:04
And I said, oh, because of the meeting we had this morning. He said, all of this. What you said is because of the meeting. I said, yes. He said, you should do coaching.

00:17:13
I said, what's coaching? He said that. He explained to me he was an older man, father figure, so he actually created coaching idea and coaching business for me, which then I started doing it. And it was just fascinating that I ended up going to Canada, where the father of my children, my ex husband, was living. I wanted them to be close.

00:17:35
And then it served me so well. Somebody called me talking about things just coming up, opportunities, as you were saying, how beautifully it unfolds. I remember I was volunteer. I always volunteer where I am because I think the least I can do is to contribute to the society and the community that I'm living in, because I'm not. I wasn't born there.

00:17:57
And I feel like, okay, I'm here. THahn you. Let me give you something back. So anyways, I was volunteering. It was an advisory committee about some social issues, community issues, to the prime minister.

00:18:10
And one day somebody calls me at home and says, we're calling from appointment office. And I said, I have no appointment. I had no idea what appointment office was. She said, she started laughing. She said, no, no, no, I know you don't have an appointment.

00:18:23
We're calling about an appointment, not doctor's appointment. But she had to explain, I had no idea what that was. Anyways, I went there and I, they offered me an appointment as an adjudicator, which basically meant adjudicating between government and the community. And also, later on, I became another appointment, human rights commissioner in Ontario, Canada. But what I'm saying is everything unfolded so beautifully.

00:18:53
Now, I sit here and I said, somebody must have planned that. It wasn't me, but somebody must plan that. I just told you, I do mediation. So mediation is from adjudication. I hear this case, I hear that case, try to be neutral, practice to be neutral, and I decide.

00:19:11
And usually truth is the glue, not just experience, but the truth, because they both, both parties understand that, you know, you're being neutral, but you're being fair and truthful. So it all comes together. My dyslexia helps the pattern, my adjudication helps the mediation. And my really, experience of being who I am and having gone through so many ups and downs in my life, I mean, helps me to connect to people's pain and suffering. So it all comes together and in a beautiful package.

00:19:52
If we only see life like that, it would be so much easier. You just sit back and say, I see this happening. I wonder, what is the gift in this for me? Because I know there's a gift. I can't see it right now.

00:20:05
I'm looking. I cannot see it, but I am certain that certainty, that there is a gift allows you to find it. Much easier. Oh, that's beautifully said. I could listen to you talk all day.

00:20:19
I really. You definitely have. I mean, a gift in so many ways. And I love how yours, as you said, all your ups and downs have led you to this place where you're able to help the people that are connected to you end further. And doing these kind of talks that you do.

00:20:42
Being on podcasts helps more people be like, wait, I need to stop, and I need to refocus, rethink, redo my life a little bit. And that's why I love podcasting. That's why I love being able to connect with people like yourself. We're all different walks of life. We've all have different, you know, I mean, as you said, you walked on foot from Iran.

00:21:04
Can I understand that? No, I grew up in New Jersey. I mean, you know, I grew up in New Jersey, you know, pretty, pretty normal life relative. You know, as you get older and you think about it, you're like, I guess that was the. So normal, but, you know, very loved.

00:21:22
However, I can feel you and I can put myself in your shoes, and I can say because of other life experiences I've had, and I think that's something that a lot of people don't do. And as you said, the suffering. I think there's so many people right now that don't allow themselves, they're in so much pain in their own way, whether they're wealthy, whether they're not, you know, wherever they are, they don't allow themselves to stop and really think what their strengths are, what they want in life, where they. They can actually make a difference in someone else's life because they're so internalized in surviving and suffering. And one of the things, you know, whether you believe in God, whether you believe in the universe, one of the things that I've, you know, even when I had my consulting business in the storytelling, even when I was doing the workshops and the talking, that's one of the things that kind of came natural to me.

00:22:22
It was always like, I'm curious, and I do think because of my dyslexia, the way my brain is, that it always kind of just let me be that way. Even if there's times where I didn't want to be in my head, you know, get out of there. You just are, right? And so thinking about, let me just pause when we're always going so fast, and I'm, you know, I'm ADHD as they come. I can go fast, but I know that's not good.

00:22:49
You know, I know that there's times that you have to stop and you have to reflect. And one of the things, talking to so many people on the podcast, so many entrepreneurs that, you know, were in corporate America, that, that, that straw broke. Like, they were like, I was miserable or people that were doc, you know, were going to be doctors and then completely have changed, you know, their career. I've talked to people that are, were high, high doctors. Now they're photographers because they're like, I did it because that was what my parents always wanted.

00:23:18
Yes. And I hated it the second I even went to med school. But I continued and I'm like, oh, my gosh, it's terrible how, like, how do you do that? So you are so aware and the way you teach and the way you explain to people is like, you have to stop and you have to, as you just said, think about these different things. But the fact that you were so young and found out, okay, these are the parts of me that I know I can connect by having mentors.

00:23:47
Like the older man being like, what do you mean? Because you probably always knew that you were different in that way. How come I know this but no one else knows that? How come I can see that but no one else can see that? And those are kind of realms with dyslexia.

00:24:01
Some people have that stronger. My co host on word blindness has it so strong. He can kind of see the patterns and knows what's going to happen. And people are always like, what are you talking about? And he's like, I just know.

00:24:12
I just know. And it's so weird. I don't think I'm as intuitive to that. But I have other things, right? Like my dislike, like my communications.

00:24:19
Like, I can read the slightest thing where I'm like, oh, that person wants to talk, I'm going to be able to pull that out of them. So this conversation can go, you know, they can feel really good as they leave. It can be the comfort thing. So if you can kind of take us back a little bit to, and I love how you kind of put up, like, you know, the book was like, okay, these are all the steps that created. And let me to this book.

00:24:43
Did you have the idea, like, you always knew that you wanted to this book? And the reason why I'm asking you is this, because I think there's so many people that could be authors or could really share things, but they don't know how. Like, they don't know the steps. Like they have this idea and they're frozen in it. And it's just this idea for years and years and years.

00:25:01
Did you always know that this book was kind of like something that could be, or was it just like a defining moment that you were like, oh, and it just happened? Can you take us through a little bit of like, you know, yes, your life work is this book. But when was it, like, I'm going to put it down on paper. Was it always a knowledge, or was it like one defining moment that you can kind of think about? Definitely not always a knowledge.

00:25:23
I don't have any always in my life. Always doesn't exist. And I'm fine with it. It's like this momentous. It exists, but always, no, but it came when I think I in a class through questions.

00:25:37
And by the way, that's a beautiful way of, as you said, I ask questions. You said that is questioning. I had a teacher, a buddhist teacher, who said something that stayed with me, and it's been decades now. He said, there is always an answer for what you want. However, most of the time you're asking the wrong question.

00:26:01
I love that. So when you ask the right question, then you will get the right answer. So the question came, and I really encourage it. Like my class, what I go with is like little material, but most of it, like, I'm hungry for their questions because true wisdom that I'm really a tool for comes out. So one day somebody asked a question, and I said, really, there are only three ways to be in this world.

00:26:31
And they said only I said, yes. There is the survivalist that is always fearful. And I created the questions that a survivalist is answering, and it is really simple and it's really fascinating. And then there is the attentionist. Attentionist is a person who has choice consciousness.

00:26:51
So seized all the problems like you did, like I did, but also understand I have a choice. I am not a victim of my genes and the history of my life. There is something else that I can activate, and that's an attentionist. And they live by different questions. And then there's also what we call, and it's hard to really define that group, but it's the evolved, what I call eternalist.

00:27:17
So there is survivalist, attentionist, and eternalists who are living on this planet, and most of us are survivalist, that when we go to attentionism and that life changes. When they asked that question and they said, so how do I know I'm a survivalist? She asked. When I said that, I said good questions, and I came up with the questions they live by and that was the foundation for this book. I walk with my partner almost every night.

00:27:47
And I was telling him, and he's a writer and producer, documentary producer, and I said, henry, this is what happened. And he stopped. And he's not a. He doesn't get impressed by things easily. He stopped and he said, Mitra, you've got a book.

00:28:02
I said, really? He said, yes, you do. I said, but I'm not a writer. He said, who cares? You weren't an adjudicator, either.

00:28:09
You weren't a teacher, either. You. Nobody trained you to be a coach. There you go. Write it down.

00:28:15
The attention is a key word, and your foundation of the book is very solid. And that's when the idea of the book was born. Oh, I love that so, I mean, the chills. I love that so much. And it's because you also listened, right?

00:28:32
You stopped and listened to him because you could have listened. You could have been in the class with the student and been like, interesting. But you didn't. You stopped, and that stuck with you, and you let it stick with you. So many people go so fast that they don't let those little things stick.

00:28:47
And then you were there and you were present. You were present in the moment of both of those. To be able to have them come together, to be able to have it go to the next thing. I love that so freaking much. One of the things I say a lot is that you are.

00:29:03
You could be one question away from a different life. I love that. I love that. Okay. And if you think about it, if you ask, and it's actually on my YouTube, it's like the first thing you think, if you ask the right question to the right person at the right time, it could take your life completely down a different path.

00:29:24
And so that's what I say to people. Don't ever be afraid to ask questions. And a lot of people don't like questions a lot. I mean, we laugh all the time because I tell my kids all the time to ask questions. I don't care where you are, I want you asking questions.

00:29:38
When they were little, I would. I was the mom that would be like, yes, ask. I would have friends that were like, oh, my God, you guys asked so many questions. It's so annoying. And I would laugh.

00:29:47
They'd be like, I'm going to send my kid to you. It's like, oh. Oh, my God. And I was like, I love questions. And if I don't know the answer, I love finding the answer.

00:29:57
Yes. Even though I hated school, even though I hated learning to, this is how I learn, and this is how I love and not learning. I shouldn't say I hated learning in the traditional, in the traditional setting, but asking questions and then learning from those questions, that's how I do. Like, I love brainstorming. So Danielle, who's the co founder, will sit there and go, like.

00:30:17
And there's times where I'm like, on, you know, talking to scientists, and I'm like, this might be. And I hate saying, because my dad always says there's no silly questions or no stupid questions, but, like, I'll say to them, okay, this might, you know, be coming out of left field, but I have a question, and then it gets on this beautiful conversation. And that's why podcasting is one of my gifts. Like, interviewing is one of my gifts, because my brain is just curious. And I'm like, wait, I want to know that.

00:30:42
So it's a safe space for me to ask a million questions to other people because it is. And so I love that buddhist professor that you said, because that is so true. And I think that's what most of society, they're afraid to ask questions, so they don't want to look stupid. Trust me, I've been there. Right?

00:31:00
I've been there in a classroom where, like, I just want to ask this question, but I feel so stupid. I don't want to ask because no one else has this question. And sometimes, like, what people say, well, if you have the question, other people are going to maybe have the same question. I've been in places where, like, okay, didn't see that coming. I did not.

00:31:16
Like, I never saw that question happening. Brent calls me curious George, my podcast. He's like, oh, here we go. Here's curious George. Because I'm like, I just go.

00:31:26
And my brain just. It's so. And I love the brain so much because of that. Yes. And so I.

00:31:33
Yeah, go, oh, I. Just wanted to say, the brain, when it collaborates with the heart, it becomes unstoppable. So most of the things that you're saying, true, it may be coming from the brain, but the true meaningful things that happen within us and then come out of us is when there is a connection between the heart and mind. And by that, I mean the masculine and the feminine energy in us. Because feminine is the curious one.

00:32:05
Masculine is the one who implements. So if in a construction kind of analogy, the feminine is the one who designs the home and masculine is the one who builds the home, so there is room for both of them. And by the way, regardless of our gender or biological or legal gender or social gender, we all hold those energies of masculine and feminine. So what you're really saying, even though you believe it comes from your mind, when it's that nurturing, when that bearing it is the combo of your heart and mind and feminine and masculine, that it's. That's so beautifully said.

00:32:46
So, okay. Is there anything else you want to share? Because I do have a question that's not related to anything that we're talking about, which. But I'm so fascinated to find your answer, but I would love, again, people can find you on your website, Mitra minesh.com, instagram, Mitra minesh, LinkedIn. They can find you at your name as well.

00:33:07
When is the book, like, when is it touted to come out? I don't even know if I said that word, but, like, when is it supposed to come out? When are you thinking? When are you hoping? Yes.

00:33:18
Well, hoping because of dyslexia. Again, I'm very particular about the font. I want the font and the design be dyslexic friendly, which usually is ADHD friendly, too. But not every publisher wants to do that. So I'm looking for the right match of a publisher right now, and if I can find them, I can publish itself.

00:33:44
Publish it. So we're at that stage of last stage of, like, you know, editing and correcting and finding somebody that we can marry a publisher that we can. Okay, so Henry Winkler, the book called here is Hahn. Yes. He used a dyslexic font.

00:34:01
It was one of the first books that my young, my son, my oldest son and I were able to sit and read and be like, oh, my God. Like we flowed, right? It wasn't, like, choppy, it wasn't slow. It wasn't like, you know, I mean, it's still. And that is a dyslexic font.

00:34:16
I'm going to see if I have any of those books around to look who the publisher was, because maybe you can contact them. Contact them, because I know it is a very specific. And also, and I know you know this, but, like, there is a very specific dyslexic font. And people will say, I don't understand. How is it?

00:34:32
You know, and that's where the dyslexia comes in all different ranges. Like, some people, I can read. I've always been able to read, even though I've been very slow. But if I read out loud, I can't comprehend anything. I have to read to myself, but I have to listen like, listening is a lot of times where that's where, like, my strength is.

00:34:50
So I can, like, I do audiobooks. I listen to a lot of audiobooks. But the dyslexic font is one that does help us really flow. And it's the spacing from what I understood, because, again, I've done so much work with my son. The spacing of the letters and the words is how it makes it so, like, there's some fonts that I really am like.

00:35:11
Like, I read so much slower and I can't get at all. There's a lot of fonts like that. And so that is very specific where people will think, oh, it's just you're flipping your B's and D's and dyslexia. It's. Some people do that.

00:35:21
Right? But not everyone. I do. But there's so much more to it, and it's very specific. So I love that that's what you're doing.

00:35:28
I'm going to also ask around in my networks to see if anyone but Henry Winkler. I know that. Here's Hahn, that book particularly, and that came out years, like, he had a couple different series, but he's severely dyslexic. So if maybe you have anyone in your network that knows him can maybe try to connect you with him and he can give you a little bit more information on there. So the question I want to ask you, because I also know because you're in California.

00:35:53
So this is going to be an interesting question that is not a generalization, but a generalization with this word. So, neurodiversity, I don't like it at all. And I'm going to tell you why I don't like it, is because I think that in education. So a couple different things, and not everyone knows this, and this is the education that we're doing with the SoPO foundation is, in certain states, your IEP, so your individual educational plan that your kid has. So when they go get a neuropsych, when they get the diagnosis of dyslexia, there are certain states that you cannot put the word dyslexia on it.

00:36:33
So it is handed to the teacher and it is said it's called a specified learning disability or LD. Okay? So a teacher is getting it. And now I really think they're going to try to put the word neurodiverse to get everyone that's been fighting about this word, like specific learning disability. They're going to be like, oh, well, we're going to put neurodiversity so now they understand.

00:36:57
If you say to someone, I'm neurodiverse. If you look up the word neurodiversity, there's about a thousand things that can go underneath there. It is still not specifying what actually it is. And a lot of people don't love the labels because they're like this. The label is your roadmap.

00:37:14
That is one thing that Brent says all the time, which I love. It is your roadmap. So it's actually showing you how you learn and letting other people know. This is how my brain works. So the fact that, like, it's now thrown out there, like, oh, we're all neurodiverse, and there's a million different things.

00:37:29
So what we have coined is something called the five ds. So that's dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, ADHD, and dyspraxia. And I'm saying dyspraxia wrong, I think. So that last d is one that I don't have, and I really haven't found anyone that. That's a very small percent.

00:37:50
But that's the speaking part. The dysgraphia is the handwriting part. The dyscalculia is the math portion. ADHD is ADHD and dyslexia, you know, so when you have the five D's and you start talking about the five Ds, it's like, oh, I get it. Like, if I.

00:38:06
And I remember when the neurodiversity word came out, I remember I was like, oh, okay. This is kind of. This is the buzzword. I'll use it. Someone said to me, oh, are you autistic?

00:38:15
And I said, no. I said, oh, interesting. I said, I mean, no shame in that if I was. But, like, why would you ask me that? And they said, well, you said you were neurodiverse.

00:38:27
And I said, right. So then we started doing some research on neurodiversity. Neurodiversity is a word from, I think she's an australian activist that came up with the word that is, it was came from autism. And then everyone jumped on it because they're like, oh, we're going to use that because neuro, the brain, obviously, diversity, because. And it's still like, so there's a lot of people out there that think that it's great, and they're like, no, I'm appeasing you.

00:38:52
I think someone's like, we're shutting them up and just putting everything together so they can't have it separated. But then these poor teachers have no roadmap to each child. And it's like, again, specified learning disability. Like, there's so many learning disabilities that you can have. If you say dyslexia, okay, I get it.

00:39:09
If you say dysgraphia, okay, I get it. Dyscalculia, the same. You get it. You have an understanding of that child. So I would love to know what your thoughts on the word neurodiversity is after that long rant.

00:39:21
So, first of all, I know there's been obsession about neuroscience, because where I teach at UCLA is the school of neuroscience. We just actually changing the department, but recently, but it was in the school of neuroscience. So I worked with a lot of neuroscientists, and then I also realized everybody is using neuroscience information to sort of speak, and even though none of them are neuroscientists, so one is that obsession. And, you know, these are like fashion, you know, it will go away. Something will replace it.

00:39:55
I'm sure, with AI coming, something else will come. But right now it's that. So I understand why it's happening, but talking, I loved your five w, five ds, because I can actually. I have three of those. And what is interesting, when you said that, it was very clarifying for me.

00:40:13
I'm actually very strong in two of them, and the three of them, I'm just, like, very, very weak. I'm very good with math, naturally. And I've been at school, I'm very good at speaking. But the other three, three ds are like, really, really, I have to work hard. So that was very helpful.

00:40:33
THahn you for that. And talking about coining words, I'm an expert. As you know, the attention is not a word. I made it up. But I have a word that I use, and I call it diverse ability instead of disability.

00:40:46
I call it diversibility. So I really. And then people ask, so what does that mean? So there's an opportunity. That's an opening thing.

00:40:55
I say, I have diverse ability, or I ask especially younger people, I say, do you have any diverse abilities? And they say, what is that? I say, meaning you are able in a different way, because this ability is like a negative thing, that I'm not able, you are able, but I'm disabled, but diverse ability. And I coined that word myself because I had to ask. And then it's like, oh, I'm diverse.

00:41:22
Which is true. You and I spoke about that. I'm able in a very different way, and that's diverse ability, not disability. So I use that, but I will really look into your five ds, because that's very helpful to even understand myself, let alone working with my wonderful students and clients. Yeah.

00:41:43
So that's what. That's one of where, you know, we're coming up with the whole, like, logo and all of these different things because five d's, it shows you. And at first, we were calling it the four ds because I wasn't thinking of daproxia. And then it came across my desk, and I was like, oh, my God, I feel terrible because we don't want to exclude anyone that is actually part of that part of your brain, right? That's where that part of your brain.

00:42:06
And we had all these different things. We were going back and forth, but Brent and I both very strongly, like, at one point, we were doing the podcast, and we've had a couple guests on, and they would say, you know, neurodiversity. And then all of a sudden, him and I both. I was like, I hate that word. And he's like, oh, I hate it, too.

00:42:21
And then we got, like, angry, and we're like, okay, we need to come up with something else. I was like, I'm like, you know, it's. Again, it's not giving the picture to that poor teacher that's drawing that wants to do well, but we're not giving them the tools. So I love, and I also love that. Diversability.

00:42:37
Is that how you say it? Yeah. Diverse. Oh, diversability. Whatever.

00:42:40
It's the same. Diverse or diverse people use both words. But I say diversability because it rhymes also with disability. Diversability, yes, but you said something that I want to comment on the fact that you said, we got upset and then we created. I mean, if we just take that and that's.

00:43:02
It comes with a permission. That is with the permission. So what do I do when I get upset? I can give up. I can create.

00:43:11
I can stay reactive, or I can stay or become creative. So that is part of our diverse abilities that I get. Exactly the same things that upset me always end up in creation. And I mean always. I mean, I go to a restaurant, I think, I didn't like this.

00:43:32
I come home next day, everybody laughs in my family because they know. You say, you're gonna make that tomorrow, aren't you? I said, I'm gonna make it the way I. So you that. Imagine if our response, because it's no longer reaction.

00:43:48
Response to anything, that it doesn't suit us, doesn't serve us, was creativity. Just imagine that world for a second. What kind of a world I will have. I'm reacting to what you're saying or the way you're treating me, I go and create something, create something that it's amazing, either for me or usually for me, means for everyone. It serves me.

00:44:12
It serves you. But imagine that instead of becoming vindictive and being reactive and going around and having horrible time with you or anybody that is with you, just become creative. That is the ultimate revenge, creativity. And then you don't even need revenge anymore. Yeah.

00:44:32
Look at us. We're coming up with some good stuff. I mean, I absolutely love that, Mitra. That is, it's so beautifully said. And one of the things that I love talking to you with is I also can visualize, because obviously I visualize as well.

00:44:48
And so I can visualize all of that. And it's so obtainable if people just stopped and thought about it, really. So I just want to say tHahn you again for joining your next stop. It's so wonderful to be reconnected. I know this time because I want to chat with you many different things on the side afterwards.

00:45:11
There's so many ideas that I have and so many thoughts. So I just appreciate you taking the time, and I'm so happy that we've always stayed connected here and there through social media. But I think there was a lull that we, you know, kind of, you weren't in my feed, and then all of a sudden you popped back up and I was like, ah, Mitra. I love Mitra. And there's a reason.

00:45:29
There is a reason for it. And that's one of the things that is so special also. And some people will think that's corny, but there is always a reason for people to come into your life, and, and people need to be more aware of that. Yes, there's a reason for everything. Everything.

00:45:46
The question is, am I benefiting from them or nothing, you know, or am I dismissing it by good incidents and bad incidents or coincidence are all. There is a co, that co is beautiful word, coincidence have, like, really meaning to them. So I'm grateful that we reconnected and really enjoyed our discussions, and I'm so thrilled and so happy that you told me. I'm sure your listeners know things that happened. And what I want to say is, may your success, outer success, and inner happiness grow and grow.

00:46:24
THahn you so much, Mitra. And again, you guys, you know what to do, like rate, review and share. And we will see you for another episode of your next stop.